It's a sad revelation
To discover that nobody is to be trusted
Lying tongues
Twisted together like snakes in a pit
Honesty is nowhere to be found
Nowhere do you feel at home
Nowhere do you feel welcome
Even the grass complains when you step on it
You can only keep to yourself
Long and silent are the days
It feels good when the sun beams through the window
But that is short lived
Soon you will travel home
This journey will require no luggage
Your work is complete
All you ever wanted was to be loved
But love in this world does not come free
And you never had the money to buy it

Commitment and trust, a safety pin so small,
In the tapestry of bonds, they stand tall.
They shield and support, like a gentle embrace,
But one misstep, and the balance we chase.

Delicate threads woven, emotions entwined,
Unintended consequences, where hearts find,
A wounded soul, left in the aftermath,
When commitment falters, trust takes a path.

So cherish these elements, precious and rare,
Handle with care, for they're beyond compare.
For in the fabric of relationships, they reside,
A safety pin's power, when love is our guide.

whenever she's suspended
affixed
at the apex
of my mind'e eye,
she commands my attention

every breath
of hers
is the wind

tempests of life
unfurling
from her tender lips

'pon which
I run
a steady finger
tracing the grooves
of her supple
flesh
as she whispers
my name

her tongue flickers

tasting
the salt of my skin

fresh from the sea
where we first made love

where I carried her
from shore
to fresh water
to be cleansed
by healing waters
and leave the sea's poison
to the creatures
of the deep
the drunkards
of deepest sin

though time has passed
decades now, since then
I can still feel her
straddling my face
beneath
the running waters
silent
save her breaths
long & satisfied
every exhale
was purposeful

and where she lay
I remember
her legs
poised,
inviting

her expression, yearning

the world had passed away

gone, in the midst
of our rapture
and who
could have stopped us
anyway

I remember
my pride vanished
as hours
in my imagination
became minutes
in reality

I had never known
I could be
so weak

spent

how she took everything
I had to give

how she gave me
everything
I ever wanted

how no woman
has ever
given me one moment
as breathless
as a day spent
in love
from the pool
to the beach
to the shower

how no other woman
could trap me
in one room
for decades
and leave me there, waiting
with
no
regrets...

i sit on the bench
and watch him roam
free to do as he pleases
within the confines of
our fenced sanctuary
that four-legged build up
of energy and excitement
taken by a sudden burst
sniffing at the long grass
as he bounds excitedly
up down around and back
only to stop abruptly
freezing in a Pointer's stalk
until the cause of rustling
in the undergrowth
reveals itself and takes flight
leaving him to snuffle
the scents that remain
exploring deeper
he pauses and looks back
checking i am still here
making sure i know
i am not forgotten

तिमी हो भन,
म होइन भन्छु।

तिमी होइन भन,
म हो भन्छु।

उ को हो ? भन,
कोहि होइन उ म भन्छु।

मैले गरेका गल्ति गन,
सजाय सरि आफुले-आफै थुनिरहन्छु।

मलाई गलत गाली भन,
म तेसलाई सुनिरहन्छु।

गालीको कारण भने नभन,
म मन-मनै बुनीरहन्छु ।

तिमी म तिम्रो होइन भन,
म तिम्रो जुनी-जुनी रहन्छु।

म चाहन्छु तिम्रो अरोपको बन्दि हुन,
तिमीलई स्पर्शनु मेरो हात म खोलीरहन्छु।

ती अध्यारा कोठामा मलाइ थुन,
म तिम्रै कन्चेटिमा डुलिरहन्छु।

बस!!

तिमी म तिम्रो होइन भन,
म तिम्रो जुनी-जुनी रहन्छु।

                 .. जुनी-जुनी रहन्छु।।

Wish to be an unmoving mountain,
Snow clasped, untouched and cold.
A big lenticular cloud casting its shadow,
Over the peak, that has the view of a world.

I see myself failing to achieve this,
A curious mind is often a curse.
There's a little whisper and chatter,
Like a curious deer, I stick my antlers in

Someone has built a little dwelling,
I hear the stomp and the noise now.
As I watch,  don't wish to be bothered,
But stealthily I observe now.

Curious mind , Oh! it should explode,
If I don't tend to it now, so I must know,
Just a little peek , is all I want ,
Promise to tiptoe back safely.

I speak not, of the many misadventures,
That shaped my past and my being.
Intense reckonings that are a bit distasteful,
Remind me to stay away from the drama.

A peek is all it takes, the stranger knows now,
Let's get acquainted , they say to me.
I shake my head in a 'yes' reluctantly,
Oh curiosity! you have me in your grasp again!

Little by little, it seeps into your mind,
As curiosity and desire go hand in hand,
Just a tiny bit , I should know  their story,
What makes them , the way they are.

I invite them, into my own dwelling now.
Show them this minds artful creation,
Stories for stories in exchange,
From acquaintance to friends now.

Curiosity flows like the river now,
Washing away the sands of time,
Missing those cues to stop now,
Oversharing and sharing secrets.

They Talk, I talk , a little more everytime,
The never ending stories of times past.
Some more of the present now,
It seems, I put my trust in them.

I know their secrets but do I dare?
They know mine, and yes they can tell,
My failures, vulnerabilities and fears,
All's an open book for their eyes.

A book they gladly share and overshare,
Till the rim bursts and the pages swell.
All my bruises known to all,
Who else to blame and names do I call.

Alas, I have been a fool again!
Drowning to the oceans depth,
Wished I be the unmoving mountain,
Even reaching it's base is now uncertain.

You've done the deed and is yours only,
To bear the fruit of your own desire,
Distasteful, bitter and cold,
I sit undone, forlorn burning in a pyre.

In a world full of moving souls
behind perspective eyes
I looked for you.

and it hit me:
Even when I was with you
I could not find you..
you NEVER let me FIND YOU.
In the end and tomorrow,
I will always look for you.
every time I see a resemblance
I am a dog looking for a ball with his ears up
having a little hope that it is YOU,

but no
no one is you.
no one will ever be what I looked for in you.

(inspired by Malia’s poem ‘crack the code’)

the unspoken poems
are the loudest
the ones you don’t utter
the times you don’t bother
symphonies of silence
votes of no confidence
trust marbled with rust
what's become of us?