I'm not searching for my other half
Because I am not half

I am so much enough
You have no idea how enough
I can be

How enough I am

Trust me I will
Make the time to
Prove to you that
I do not need someone
Else to complete me

I can create my own sunshine

I wonder
if you're love was real
or if I was just
a convenience


-em vidar

"What you did to me is unheard of. Unspeakable. You are repulsive. Goodbye."
I can't deal with you no more.
You were my best friend.
Called me a b** and h and so, so much more.
At this point,
if you don't know those two words,
then you haven't been in this sort of situation.
He was my best friend.
My best friend.
It's still burned in the back of my mind.

Surprising,
isn't it,
when the person you trust the most
doesn't just bail,
but hurts you.
The person you loved the most
makes you stay up crying in bed.
The person you loved the most
makes you feel afraid of going to school
or unlocking your phone.

At this point,
I have given up.
My real friends are my old friends,
the ones everyone thought I would dump forever.
But, they always lurked in the background
of my life.
They may have been shoved to the side,
but never did they fade.

These are the friends that were by your side
through the hardest times.
Before you meet the one friend you
get crazy close with in one night and
pretend
trust grows on trees,
think about your old friends.
The ones you might be mad at for a stupid,
stupid reason.
Give them a chance.

Don't let the others fade,
just because you found a new "them."

You've replaced them.
But, the replacement will fail to serve.

i am just a cog in the machine.
a tool of the man
but i know God
will still use me
for his Purpose.

so call me a tool
but this tool serves
a purpose.

When my proud moment isn’t on Facebook
I will hold that moment in my own two hands
touched by grace
wet with tears
giving thanks
I will feel the smooth cold glass of it
See the flash of sun sparking
new worlds in it
I will hear the harmony, and dissonance
that made it
I will smell strawberries and spring
in her hair
I will know the days and moons and moments
tears, and heart-stopping fears
of love, of trust, the holiness of her small soft hand
in mine
I will hold this moment close
longing to whoop from the treetops
wishing the world to know, this
is my proud moment—
whispering its truth
to the wind instead

what is love
love is a best friend to dry the tears of todays struggles.
love is stirring the pancake batter while making breakfast together.
love is getting entirely lost on our first road trip.
love is the first fight over something so irrelevant you can't remember why you started to fight.
love is 2am playing card games with each other
while listening to classic rock and drinking beer.
love is a slow dance in the hallway on the way to bed.
love is you.

I can't sleep tonight
for when I close my eyes
I only see your face and remember the moments I didn't tell you
how much I love you


-em vidar