I love you so much, even though we've only met 4 times I feel like I've known you for so long..

I have been doing a Bible study with a dear friend and sister in Christ. Because I have been enduring so many trials, we've been studying Romans 8. And many other scriptures, too many to mention here. But the study has been all about why Christians have to endure such suffering. This world, when it fell, became cursed. Everything changed. Adam had to work the soil by the sweat of his brow, and Eve had to give birth with much pain and hardship. The ground was cursed. Evil things came on to the world. And evil men and women. There is no avoidance of this fact. One must face it. But facing it with joy is a completely different thing. There is only one way to be joyful in this life while facing great hardship. God. The Father Son and the Holy Spirit. Jesus sent a comforter to help us through the agony of life. The Holy Spirit also bestows wisdom so we can sometimes avoid some of the pitfalls that may beset us.  The Holy Spirit knows all things. So you can have words of knowledge. I have experienced this. I've known things that there was no way I could have even extrapolated them. I don't know if there is this certain power that Satan can give people too. I imagine so since he can approximate everything God does. But there is a huge difference between divination and words of knowledge. Anyway, back to my point. The Holy Spirit also comforts. If you keep your eyes on God, Jesus, as you're going about your day, facing the struggles that you have head on, you will find that the tasks you have and all the insults to your Humanity will be unable to distress you. You will find patience in all things. And you will find joy and peace. if you lean on God and do everything unto Him, you will be much happier!

It's the difference between passing a kidney stone and birthing a baby. When your time of pain and sorrow is done, you have something to be joyous about! It's the difference between hard labor doing a senseless task and building a bridge. You have hope and joy of the other side of that construct! And what is the other side of the bridge for us believers? Heaven. And the Glorious Prospect of being with Jesus for all eternity. Having glorified bodies that will never get sick or be in pain. We will never grow old and we will never cry. What a glorious thing! but my favorite Prospect is Jesus. I can hardly wait for his return! I just don't want to be embarrassed about my service here on Earth. I want to hear him say,

"Well done good and faithful servant!"

Amen? ...AMEN!!!

I just want to thank everybody who's been reading me. The response to my poetry has been awesome! I thank you all!

I'm going to be reading tonight, God willing.
May He bless you all until then!

Something I read tonight really disturbed me. And I feel it is necessary to explain why I am not on site as much as I'd like to be. I am reposting this on Twitter and Facebook also, as I have not been on those sites in many months. I have friends there I have almost literally abandoned, except in prayer.

I'm afraid to say I am in constant pain, my friends. I have severe arthritis in my knees and feet. My feet are literally deformed. And walking is extremely painful. I am not in a power chair. I don't want to go that route. I don't want to lose the use of my lower body entirely. I can't get surgery on either my knees or my feet because I have a problem with my weight which was brought on by medication I was given which I never needed.

I am also a targeted individual. I have been singled out by the Church of Scientology for extreme mental torture. They do this to certain people who are vocal against them. I am one. I was put in the mental health system because they wanted to discredit me. They have almost completely tarnished my name. And I have no recourse because I am labeled mentally ill.

I live in a house that should be condemned. The electrical system has not been fixed since the 1920s. It is a beautiful old house, but in great need of repair. I am constantly on guard for fire.

My father is in the hospital. He is in a deep depression because of his physical condition. He was always very active in his life. He is a Master Gardener but now cannot do the things he loves. He is completely deaf, and nearly blind. Now he cannot speak. He has a tracheostomy and a feeding tube in his stomach. He considers his life a living death. I don't know what to do for him except to pray.

Yes, I have many troubles. But I consider none of them a comparison to the glory I will experience when I get to heaven to be with Jesus. What he does for me even in this life is nothing short of miraculous. Even with all these troubles above I am joyous. I cannot do the things that I wish to do. I find it hard to follow my friends on the various sites mentioned above. And I do feel sorry for that. I have thought carefully about which site to follow. Because I love poetry and the poets on Hello Poetry, and they are my oldest friends, I have decided to stay here. I'm not able to read as much as I'd like, but that is no fault of theirs. I want to thank those who follow me through all this from the bottom of my heart. You bring me a great deal of Joy to my life.

My life is actually very full. I have friends who I talk to, and pray with, on the phone. Because I am essentially a shut in, this is very important. I can't go to church for the above reasons. Everywhere I go my name is being slandered by this nefarious cult. But my friends, who I've had for many years some of them, know that what is said about me to be lies. We talk and we pray for hours. I pray for all of you. Usually I would not mention my prayer life. It is something very personal to me, as it should be. but I just want you to know how much I love you all.

I say none of this for sympathy. That word is between s*** and syphilis in the dictionary. I simply say that Jesus Christ is literally saved my life. There is no way I could endure any of this if it weren't for Him. I sincerely hope that some of you can find the joy that I experience. It is only through great suffering that one finds this kind of happiness. Please read the Bible quote below. Thank you all for reading!

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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