Is a ‘reaction’
an initial impulse to act
after an experience?
Do reactions
get us into trouble
when we act out the impulse
without first self-introspecting,
becoming aware of emotions and thoughts,
self-evaluating emotions and thoughts,
and self-correcting emotions and thoughts?
For example:

A toddler cries
then her mother slaps her hard
then regrets the slap
when her toddler cries more miserably.

A youth insults a man at a bar
then the man punches the youth hard
knocking him to the floor unconscious
struggling to breathe,
then the man regrets the punch
and regrets getting arrested even more.

I feel sick to the core,
Reviled by my current state,
And tormented by uncertainty
At an alarming rate.

Terrified to overstep a line,
Scatterbrained by nature,
Yet hyperfocused by design
On the most trivial of things.

Choking on aspirations,
Hindered by one's mind,
And bound to a system,
Of a truly unique kind.

Juxtaposed against oneself,
Organization amongst chaos,
And though the thoughts may be top shelf,
They're too raw for the refined.

Cure the cursed,
Rip away the fear,
The sun is coming up,
Let's make another year.

Turmoil, breathing fast
Shackles of a sinful past
Run, you idiot, run
All you can do since you've been outgunned
That ought to teach you a lesson
You might grow, but there are parasites in the world of indiscretion
Shouldn't have revealed so much to her
Some things ought to never be unearthed
So now you run from the baddies
That's the cost of for once feeling you might be happy

it's hard to open the door when i don't know if there's tigers lions and bears awaiting my arrival

There was a little boy who lived in the clouds.
He would come to me and say “Please don’t be so loud.”
But at night he would come to me,
And tell me a story or two.
About his adventures in the sky.
And about the clouds when he flew.
About when he dipped his hands in the ocean blue.
And about when he got into trouble, too.
He would tell them to me, until I would sleep.
And in my heart, forever I will keep.
One day the little boy said farewell to me.
And waiting forever, I shall be.

You run
It chases

the gasses in me bubble
my head cloudy
blood boiling
i'm not real
but i'm in real trouble