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KAT COLE Mar 2015
There is no place I can't look,
No feeling I can't sense,
No fragrance I can't smell,
that doesn't bring you here.
To life.
Right beside me.

How awful this feeling is.

To be so out f control if something so controlling.
Something taking over my being.

My stomach flipping, my eyes watering, my fists clenching.

How can you be so gone but so present?
Kiara Jan 2015
All it took was one look
One memory
One flashback
One feeling
I'm back again
I remember it all.
The sadness
The irritability
The feeling of worthlessness
The feeling of impending death
The breakdown...
I'm back again.
And this time may be the last.
Nena Twedell Jan 2015
I've been on this path for a while now
Sometimes straying away from the straight and narrow
but in time always finding my way back
Waking up in the mornings thanking the powers that be
that I'm still breathing this air around me
Taking all this wisdom that I have found for granted
And all in one breathe it is shaking
The earth beneath me begins to shake
as my knees begin to quake
And in that moment
Every mistake
Every moment of question
Every right decision
Flashes before your eyes
Like the shortest sweetest documentary you've ever watched
you realize that this is where the path splits
Veer to the left and you head back down the trail
Veer to the right you head up the rest of this mountain
Make the decision wisely
This is kind of a continuation of Mount Recovery but not quite. But centered around a lot of the same topics.
Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Okay.
Sure.
Play victim.
Play with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol before you can even legally drive.
Play with knives and fire.
Play with all those things you swore you never would.
Play with the bad kids.
Play unloved.
Play overdramatic.
Play this game you love so well.

...because no matter how good you are at it sooner or later you are going to lose.

I can't wait, I hope I'm there when you do.
Because you wrecked me.
And I am STILL healing.
The scars on my wrists
are all your fault
the reason I sometimes can't eat more
than a yogurt and half an orange for lunch
is because of YOU
the reason I hate myself
the reason my mother can't trust me around blades anymore
the reason my mother cried for so many nights
because you broke her
you broke me
you SHATTERED my friends
and loved ones
you triggered her
you led to her eating problems
you contributed to the slits on her arms
the scars are STILL THERE
you made us genuinely want to **** ourselves
and HER
the one who was so strong she never drew blood
you even drove her to trying to with a pushpin
a f!cking pushpin
thanks to you!
we used car keys when we got desperate
scissor blades
safety pins
needles
construction paper edges
nailclippers
the ends of wires
circle makers
the backings of earrings
so many more things
sitting alone
you turned everyone against us
everyone
all of our friends
the whole school
our families
EVERYONE
you wrecked EVERYTHING
you killed us.
made us want to **** ourselves
now I just want to **** YOU

so go ahead
PLAY.
I hate her. dunno if you gathered that. she is an eating disorder triggerer, depression triggerer, self-harm causer. F!cking *****.
Amanda Stoddard Oct 2014
It's 2:35 am and the notebook is on tv
trigger warning
right after I got a haircut I like
my mother takes me to the grave
of my dog that died just three days ago..
trigger warning
my dad talks down to me
trigger warning
my brother talks down to me
trigger warning
I make my mom mad
trigger warning
I cry at an overly romantic scene on a tv show
trigger warning
I'M TIRED OF ALL THESE ******* TRIGGERS.
so pull it, pull the ******* trigger
and watch me spiral the **** out of control
until the tears streaming down my face
seep into the lungs I use to try and breathe-
but see the anxiety is weighing down on my chest
like it wants to steal my lunch money-
pull the ******* trigger.
Go ahead television, mom, dad, brother, anyone
pull the ******* trigger-
and watch as my mind goes blank
twenty round shots straight at my hand
and then wonder why exactly I want to be dead.
trigger warning
No. These hands have held the gun too long
placed my fingers neatly on the trigger
ready to aim, and to fire
like I'm in some kind of action movie
"CUT!"
because i'm not a ******* extra
in some botched overly explosive action film-
I'm the ******* director of a best-selling
highly anticipated autobiography turned movie
that sells out every single theatre opening night!
I am in control of these words I hear
I am in control of these emotions
that I have spent my days trying to feel entitled to.
I will no longer hold close to the gun that triggers my downfall-
The NRA ain't got **** on me baby
because I'm packing thirty two rounds
of sure fire confidence and aiming right
at my own insecurities but I won't pull the trigger-
because I can't **** what makes me feel so alive
I can't **** these emotions I wish to diminish
but why would I want to?
Because I feel things more strongly and profusely than most
and I love harder than any ******* I have ever known
and I **** and I fight with more passion and more fury
than any Nicholas Sparks novel or Jason Statham movie-
******* try me!
Because these palms hold more grudges than hands
and this body feels more anxiety attacks than relief
so ******* try me-
because I am not my trigger warnings
nor will I ever be.
if you can think of a better title let me know.
pixels Aug 2014
The jingle-jangle of pills,
in a bottle, now in the trash.
The honey-sweet scent
of liquor in a glass.

The eye-searing shine
of an untouched blade.
The Cheshire cat grin
of a boy who doesn't know my name.

Life,
Should come with a CAUTION sign.
tw: daily struggles.
Peoples’ lives are dying in consistency;
Greed in their pedestal has corrupted this world’s societies.
A fruitful opportunity, a gold rush was encountered!
Underlying the main ambition of many unfortunate ambitious desires.
  
Persistently seeking an object of materiality,
Children have become contracted to labor endlessly till mortality.
The corporate pose has overshadowed humanity,
Predetermining existence through living in a vision of obscurity.
  
Freedom has evolved in many attaining their dreams,
Yet, failing to realize their limits in overstepping boundaries.
Morality has been compromised to new opportunities.
Ultimately, corrupting one’s essence in living spiritually.
  
We have eluded to perceive the subtle communication they have established you see.
Projecting honesty while planting a seed, they enrich themselves invulnerably.
Enabled through the loophole of ignorance attracted by social mediocrity,
Revealing a battle between each other secretly disguised as insecurity.
  
Asking how do I seek success, freedom, and happiness endlessly.
Indubitably, the answer relies inside, secreting awareness internally.
Discovering that the war begins within may end the violence indeed.
Extinguishing eternal destruction of the world through peace and harmony.
  
By: Michael M. De La Fuente
Taylor Apr 2014
i have seen scarred wrists and burns and bruises marring the bodies of beautiful girls, countable ribs and thigh gaps and jutting hip bones.

boys destroying themselves in puffs of smoke and empty pill bottles, dry coughs coming from ruined lungs.

but nothing triggers me like you do.
You bring out the absolute worst in me and throw me so far off the edge I can't even see the sun

— The End —