I'
M
Cut
Deep
And it's
Killing me
You didn't use
A knife just your
Words, but they hu
rt so much more th
an if you sliced my
Wrists up because
You've sliced my he
art into little shreds
And I'm not sure how
I'm going to put it ba
ck together this time,
but I know it will take
Awhile and through it
all I'll have to wear a pr
etty smile, like everyth
ing's ok, but we both kn
ow it's not, I'm.not at all,
but that's the price I pay
**Maybe next
Time you co
uld literally
slice my heart
from my chest
and slowly wa
tch  eme bleed
out and die, cau
se that would not
Hurt as much as
This feeling I
Have right now
But the idea of
Being without
You in any way
Hurts so much
Maybe I'll just
Use this knife
To cut away at
My own pain

I let myself hope
And of all the guys
In my past
You were and still are
The nicest, the sweetest
And up until this moment
I thought I'd finally
Fallen for someone
Who wouldn't ever hurt me
But I guess that's what I get
For dreaming
For hoping
I think I'm done with that now
Once, twice.. coincidence
Three times...
It's common sense
It's me, not you

Here I am again
Picking up the shattered remains
Of my already falling apart heart
Accidentally slicing a cut on my wrist
With one of the tiny little shards
The pain, such sweet heavenly bliss

It's not that I miss you, cause you were never really mine
It's not that I regret loving you, I'd repeat it every time
But my pain has caused you misery that I'm not sure I fully understand
And the guilt lays think upon you, much more than I ever had planned

It's that I had this single drop of hope,
That my wish to have you
Might actually one day come true
But no, just another impossibility
That I'd find love and truly be happy

It ***** my childish ways and innocence were ripped away at such a young age
The one thing you want more than anything, was the one thing they had to take
And I know it sounds silly, but I hate them more now cause I blame them that I can't have you
My nightmares will come when I finally sleep, unfortunately, waking up is a nightmare too

I guess it's time to change my ways, although I've said this time and time again
This chemistry, that I thought was different, better, was just all imagined in my head
A change of heart, a change of soul, a change of my mind and a lack of passion
So many things I can't change, makes it my fault then. Wouldn't it be easier if I were dead?

My heart is having an affair
       with sarcasm
     My mind doesn't want to admit
            the truth
          My soul is in a blissful state
                 of irony
                My eyes are blind to anyone
                       but *you

Christmas.... ugh
Isn't this a perplexing situation?
I have an interesting question...
First, I know this poem is not perfection
But does any one know what it's like
To be utterly alone on what's supposed to be
A most joyous day, surrounded by friends and family?
That annoying cherubic man
Won't be visiting my home
It's just an idiotic holiday
And no one cares I'll be alone
No homemade Christmas dinner
I might make myself a grade A steak
I'll raise a toast to myself
Nothing to boast about
Probably just whiskey, bottom shelf
I immense-ly hate Christmas
Say I'm dense-ly, I don't care
Been that way as long as I can remember
From the makeshift tree, when I was three
To being stuck homeless in a snow drift at sixteen
I can count all the "merry Christmas's" I've received
On one hand
It's never been merry, or happy
Most I got was engorged on stuffing
And a poorly cooked, dried out Turkey
No presents under the tree
With a gift tag saying Melanie


You know what? Sorry Quin,
but this is too **** depressing...
I quit...

Tequila, Velveeta
Distant, instant
Solemn, Gollum
Under-wear, I don't care
Tiny, finely
Flightless, loneliness
Hindrance, appliance
Backward, forward
Orange, purge
Rooftop, please stop
Kringle, Pringles

Ha! Invitations?
No...
Salutations...

Heart pounding,
   Through the night
She knows the darkness well
     Been blinded by the light
And dragged through hell

Soul crushing,
   Through the days
She knows the pain never ends
     Been sliced open, fogged and dazed
And the voices in her head,
Have become her only friends

Head throbbing
   Through the dreams
She knows the sound of silence not
     Been left wounded, no one to hear her screams
And tortured by the presence of one single thought

Death knocking
   Through the silence
She knows he'll keep waiting, just like before
     Been failing at keeping up her defence
And this time, she simply opens the **door

I NEED YOU. HAVE I NOT MADE THAT CLEAR? I WANT TO HEAR SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS WHISPERED IN MY EAR. I WISH I WASN'T WRITHING FOR A DRINK OR A DRUG TO CLEAR MY MIND OF ALL THE ***** THOUGHTS YOU LEFT BEHIND. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE? UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!!! I NEED YOU, BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO NEED ME.*

*please

A Daily
   Breathing
        Habit

Someone
    Should
        Help Me
   Kick It

The time of night, mid
   It was dark
          She was drunk
The ***** was cheap
   She'd fallen into a nightmare
            Of her own dreams
        And she was in way too deep
Death was at her doorstep
    And the promises she made
             She could no longer keep
   She weeped into the bottle
Then drank some more
       Time was of the essence
    Yet, the past came back to haunt her
            Just like before
      Too much to handle
For their sake
          She handles it everyday
     "Resilience" they say
  But she's a fake
          Weak and ashamed
     How did she get this way?
Those ghosts of memories that
          never faded away
  On that night
     She lost complete control
              And the roses
Were dead and rotting
          Just like her *soul

Literally,

I've only

Seen one

Other human*

In

Two months.