in sacred moments of silence
i peek into your eyes
hoping for some reason to keep living life

fighting this darkness,
i'm afraid to be alone
ignoring any anchor of hope

i'll go get drunk with my friends.
it'll all be okay.
it'll all be okay.
someday
when you come to take me home.

I wanted you.
You—and your searing passion
Burning the walls of my heart and my apartment.
Our courtship became a game.
Who was the predator?
Who was the prey?
Your hazel eyes set fire to my body
And smoke was exhaled when you got close
People stared—but we were fully dressed.
No indecency was happening on the surface.
But I’m sure they felt the tension.
I felt the tension—my face set aflame by your kiss.
We could have had water and calmed ourselves—
But you already had my whiskey in your hand.

Playing the waiting game
Each one dancing around the other
Uncertainty building like a storm cloud with each passing
Second
Minute
Moment
Is this real?
Was this whole thing a child's game
Cat and mouse?
Crickets sing their song to the moon
Cars pass
The empty parking lot bathes in street lamp glow
What happens now?

One foot over another, as I try to balance on those
White stilettos, in my white dress splashed with floral prints
Entering the ballroom filled with people
Vines wound around window sills, flowers emanating a mysterious scent
Fairy lights glow in the dim lights
And I see you.

A shy glance was all I allowed
The seat beside you was empty
Should I sit over there?
Situation and circumstances pulled me to the another table
It shouldn’t have meant anything but my heart sunk a little.

You were taking photos of the event
I was watching the performances put up
Music played in the background
Food was served on the table

Yet, was it my imagination?
From the corner of my eye I see you poised with your camera
The lens facing me
Like an arrow drawn as I hid between the trees
Were you aiming for the mystical birds behind me?
Once, twice
How many exotic birds have you taken down?

With a wave of your hand, you called out to me
An exchange of words
Jokingly, playfully, like a game
“No, seriously.” We held eye contact.
A sudden rise in temperature
Do not blush
The darkness was enveloping
Memories resurfaced, wounds reopened
This is bad
You left me in search of others

Disappointment? Was that what I felt?
Relief? As if I plunged into a well of conflicting emotions
It shouldn’t mean anything

Yet, what was that look for?
The enchanted forest is a dangerous place to explore.

departure
                arrival
the climber
                 the diver
     the heat
                 the chills
     the beat
                 the thrill
         depth
                 moisture
        height
                 closure