A dance of pull and push back
A fist encircling a heart
Power on one side
Pleading on the other
Out of control
My stomach feels sick
My mind blank
Grasping toward where you were
Spirling into past comforts
Days become memories as they happen
Violence on the body
A mind of blame and contortion
You lay out boxes I can’t fit into
Telling me to get in
I can’t breathe, but you tell me to melt like water and flow.
All I ever wanted was some pull from you
Acceptance and patience of my becoming
But all you know how to do is push back.
I'm feeling better, but some days I can't do anything but sit in longing.
I've been toiling with the concept of temperance, and these are my thoughts today.
Practicing the allowance of loosening my grasp, and exploring the wonderment of fear.
Acceptance that everything is fluid and a mess of interpretation.
Rhetorical verbiage cannot console me.
Words are just an interpretation that is perceived individually.
A philosophical debate in every meaning.
Everyone is right, and everyone is wrong.
Explore narratives. Explore experiences that differentiate us. Explore.
I'm juggling complex emotions while grappling with my needs for stability and freedom.
The limitation of mimetic expression, and the fear of uncertainty and loss of control.
The earth tries to explain this to us at a young age as seasons change.
We have no control, and change is inevitable but beautiful if you see the positive.
I'm overcome with fear and excitement for this world that I've only just discovered.
Before it lay hidden behind distortion, expectation, and self-regulation.
To experience and love is the only goal.
We are no one, just beings of the same symbiotic consciousness experiencing ourselves through one another.
I don't have control over this.
I can try my best by the people I love, but by the end of the day, nothing will go my way.
Deconstruct nurture, and explore nature.
Limitations through perceived expectations.
We are performing instead of living.
Constantly under fear of judgment for not acting well to the roles we have been given.
We forget that we are siblings and reinforce this idea of fault when trauma and perception are the true separators between us.
We don’t see one another anymore.
We see status and expectation.
We need to step back and wipe away who we should be and discover who we are.
Temporary beings born to love, inspire and share.
As the chisel strikes the marble, so the psyche shapes the man.
Perfect in his alabaster, carving self from his own hands.
And once honed, his craft can grow by drafting bodies made of stone
Sourced from quarries free of worry, something he can call his own.
If he wishes to ascend beyond his animal desires,
He must grow a patience cold enough to ***** the raging fires
Burning hot against his skin and so within his weary soul,
For his enemy resides in him, and stokes the glowing coals.
if I'm ever like
I hope you are my
been re-watching Bones and I didn't realised how much I relate to Temperance
With eyes squeezed closed tight
I wrung both my hands
And thought I had found myself
Cast adrift alone in far off lands
I slowly opened one eye a slot
And quickly realised I’d rather have not
I had wandered deep into a forest glade
Following the sound a warbler had made
And when I looked down I was amazed
To see bluebells dancing between grassy blades
Each bell seemed to call a certain sound
Ringing sweetly to me from all around
A bright gleaming light shot through the trees
And all about me the birds and bees
I began to feel a joy not known before
And allowed it to seep through every pore
I looked far beyond the bluebell haze
And thought I’d slipped into ecstatic daze
For there in front of holly trees
Stood a creature not know for centuries
It’s beauty and strength were felt at length
With eyes so bright I stepped back in fright
It’s mane was glorious it’s nature raw
And between it’s ears it’s magnificence I saw
For purity and grace come not often to face
With some thing so wild only a maiden can chase
I reached out my hand to offer it peace
And was surprised when it walked to me with such ease
It knelt down beside me and lay in the grass
I lingered a moment and time seemed to pass
We were lost in our day dream for ever some say
Just me and my legendary horse for the day
Snake dips on water.
Wild rats hurry to its mouth,
Shuts quick, swallows all.
The mind engaged in logic
I can barely see
My days sudden bursts
I can rarely breath
The flight of the air
Carries me through
The panic and dire
Soothes my blues
It’s the lurch
Of a flip
It’s not lunch
But a trip
Those piano notes
Cascades my blues
A remedy to inspire
I died a thousand times
When I missed him so
The baggage I build
Grazing on those grounds
******* to fly again
It’s the lurch
Of a flip
It’s not lunch
But a trip
Ferry me through
Carry me through
For I need a train
And a carriage
One for me
One for you
One for us
One for all
Lets all have lunch. Huh?
Inspired by Joshua Ingram. Thanks for the inspiration and for reminding to keep creating. To touch and see the essence of human existence, the tapestry of life and death. For we exist then fade. We are deluded and insane and we trip back to this falsified illusion. Disillusioned but always deconstructing the paradigm. Your notes are waking Joshua..... feel the breeze.
My former addiction
is proof of damage...
my current temperance
is proof of REDEMPTION.
I am not proud of my
former addiction nor actions
... but i am unashamedly a believer
upon the Lord Jesus Christ.
HE SAVED MY LIFE.
In the absence of temperance,
I indulge in you.
Submerging myself into the depths of your being,
With an insatiable thirst for your flesh.
Drinking your essence with my lips,
Dominated by the power of your skin.
A servant to your body.
I worship you.
In the absence of temperance.
— The End —