Remember, when you said that you wanted to die?
Because of those countless accusations regarding your lies
I told you to stand up, live, just give it a try
But you still keep on asking me all your thousand whys
I'm speechless, unable to answer because of the thought I'm not wise
I punched my stomach, cause of anxiety, wanting to **** the butterflies
I still showed care towards you even my emotions were on disguise
You hugged me and whispered, "I'm HOPELESS" then you cried
I was there, I've swept the tears beneath your eyes
"I'm here for you and I will stand up for you" I replied
Slowly, our lips collide and they began to dramatize
This memory was just a proof that my efforts aren't denied
A precious moment of victory from suicide, because you SURVIVE!

Surrounded by apologies
weepy, weak, collapsing hugs
So young, so young, so young...

Sympathy gifts and tear-stained shirts
moldy fruit, cardboard pizza
Such a shame, poor girl, head hung.

Musty rooms and creaking floorboards
"If you ever need anything"
So strong, so strong, so strong...

Time's up, back to work, 9 -5
burnt lavender and broken wicks
Hope all is well, now move along.

Trapped thoughts, *** holes in my mind
seeking out salt water
At least you're here, now 23.

Hands on mouths and stifled gasps
"I can't imagine what you've been through"
My God, so glad that she's not me.

Everyone is high
On self pity and
Hate
Self diagnosed with
A terrible
Fate
No one knows
How to be sad
Without writing it off
As extraordinarily bad
Happiness isn't
A permanent gig
It's always there
If you bother to dig
Everyone is sad
Because the world is ****** up
And no one dares
To see the good stuff
A world of pessimism
Breeds angry babes
And they all start to believe
Theres no Other way
So load up on drugs
Get high in the rest
Because that's when the world
Looks its ******* best
No one was taught
How to smile
Despite the world
Looking dark for a while
So we all slit our wrists
And demand sympathy
From a world that never cared
If you were down on your knees

i threw my past at you,
thinking you'd understand,
because pain is relative, and
i knew you got that much

but whats been thrown at me,
be it punches, or knives, or
you and
your words

i guess i just put more
trust in the thought
that you'd think more like me and
you'd, for once, have sympathy.

I may of had shown you,
my body,
on my camera,
on my Skype,

But Know that I had trusted you,
with my body,
when you said you weren't recording,
when you really were,

Know you,
can never be forgive for the blackmail you pulled on me,
the hurtful words you mindlessly sent like typing away at,
the someone who's nothing is a funny little innocent game,

and you,
hurt me the most when you could type away all day long,
like the fact that I was a human being with a soul meant nothing,
like how your words of trust should of been left for nothing,

But you,
play it off as if it was a joke because I did something wrong,
When I asked you as I cried because I though my life was over,
When ever I hurt you what ever I said I'm sorry

I said I'm ******* sorry to you,
When you should of said it to me,
you should of stopped ******* with me,
you just wouldn't stop,

I told you,
That I barley am going anywhere,
and you don't get to take the little hope I have left,
and throw it the **** away like everyone else,

I told you,
that Yes I made a mistake in trusting you,
but I have been ******* over by too many people,
but I never once thought it be you,

I told you,
That I never asked to get *****,
I have no value in the body my soul walks in each and every day,
I told you everything you already knew about me,

and you,
still didn't ******* stop trying to hurt me,
you told me to **** myself,
you said I'm nothing more then a fat **** for guys who can't get anyone,

you,
******* you made me cry even harder,
telling me your going to post it on my Facebook,
telling me your going to send it to my school,

You,
Made me black out,
because I couldn't calm down,
Because I couldn't deal with you and everyone in this **** town,

You.
were not going to be the reason I cant leave this hell hole,
but you were the reason I broke a almost four month clean stride,
but I don't remember **** from that night,

I wrote *******,
Justin*  *on my skin as if that ink could get all the pain you caused out,
and it clearly couldn't
and I told you,

you win,
because I didn't wanna play with the devil,
when you had no sympathy for others,
when you held my entire life in your  **hand,

I used to think I needed a certain person to keep me sane when my loved one was gone; when I needed someone to talk to,
But I seem to have forgotten all the horrible things they have done to me,
All of the scars they have caused mentally and physically,
All the pain you caused,
But after all of the horrible things you have not only done to me but to the ones who cared about you,
I defended you when you should have gotten nothing more than a '*******' from me,
I defended you even when I knew you were lying,
Because unlike you, I'm a loyal friend,
But you have ruined almost everything good you had in your life, and because losing the good is your fault, I feel no sympathy,
So stop making yourself seem like the victim, because in the end you did this to yourself,

I learned that I don't need someone who gave the impression of helping me when you turned around and made fun of me,
I'm done with you,
Have a nice life,
The smile I used to give you that was so bright,
Has no turned to a '*******, *****'
And have a goodnight.

The devil carves his name into my skin
The blood reads: *disgusting

I brought it on myself
I let myself fall into a relationship where I knew I'd have to compete
With substances and others and ******* on the street
I brought this on myself
When I told them what I thought and finally opened my mouth
Only to be despised and insulted and thrown off the shelf
I brought this on myself
I got myself into a rut and complained about it
Until I finally did something, out of character, and burnt everyone else
There lies no sympathy in hell for someone no one cares to understand
Well I've given up
I'm done
Let the devil take my hand