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A suspicion grew in my mind,
not about my lover, as he slept
beside me, statue like, with his fingers in my hair.

No, it is the world that plants
seeds of doubt, what once I
thought safe is suddenly
the open mouth of a fearsome
dragon

He turned the streets I was raised in, into a battleground. Soldiers firing shots, unpinned grenades.

Another theft, a function vital to my survival. To be in the prison of poisoned, toxic bubble of solitary confinement.

We are a world that lets these monsters lure innocent girls and women to their graves, to die without dying, to ****** without killing...

To clamber through fog, walk blindly through a forrest, all pleasure and peace erased by a single act.

I may breathe still, my heart undoubtedly beats, I am the not dead, ******, in a haze of soul aimed gunfire.

Blasted, I crawl like a dog, licking my wounds, dreaming of revenge.
Lena Jun 2017
My stomach drops
And my leg shakes
As I try to remain calm.
He is sitting not 6 inches away from me.
I want to do something.
Anything.
Just to try and put out the fire of pain lit within me.
He hurt me.
I can feel the heat of his body,
And the aura spreading off of him.
His orange glow tinged with the goal of hurting me
The goal to tear me apart
And it's working.
I can feel my body unraveling
Ready to curl my hands into fists
And connect them to the softness of skin
And the crunch of a bone.
Anything.
My knuckles crying out for hit,
Not caring if they split,
They're ready.
Ready to leave a bruise wherever I hit.
I won't sink to your level, but god do I wish I could.
Daisy Rae Jun 2017
Thigh gaps
Twenty laps
Too many naps
I look at an apple & see
60 calories
Help me please
Get me out of this hell hole
I hate playing the "skinny role"
I lost count for today
The calculator in my brain
It's overloaded
I have to stay focused
It can't keep up with me
Maybe I should just stop eating
My hip bones gut out
Unnaturally
My cheek bones are hollow
Deadly
"Looks like you lost weight"
"You're unhealthy"
I'm glad you noticed
But the scale is my worst enemy
And the mirror tells me lies
But I continue to go by
Like a zombie
It's not a game
It's no longer a hobby
It's something very real
And this time it got me
It's dragging me down
Please, somebody stop me!
When my body arches
My backbone protrudes
You can count my ribs
As if they might go through
They're right when they say all I am is
Skin & bones
You should have seen my chart
All my body fat was gone
It dipped down to the lowest line
108 to 82
All those pounds that I had to lose
Just to have the perfect body
But to lose myself in the process
It wasn't worth the upset
That I brought to every one around me
So for this reason they had to stop me
I used to think that doctors were the devil
But I learned that they were saviors
And without them I'd be six feet under
It was hard at first
But eventually the calculator in my head died
And the scale no longer mattered to me
And the mirrors didn't seem to scream at me
My thighs are healthy and exuberant
I no longer run because I have to but for the fun of it
I finally have energy and naps are a thing of the past
Please God I hope this time
It lasts
Because now when I look at an apple
I just see
*an apple
When I was 14 years old I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder. In the US, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from an eating disorder at some time in there life. These include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder (BED), and other unspecified eating disorders. For various reasons, some cases are not reported, so the number could be higher. Every 62 minutes at least one person dies from some form of eating disorder. And it currently has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
You can make it out of this, this will not control you. Please get help if you suffer from an eating disorder. You are absolutely wonderful just the way you are.
~ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)
William Lee Jun 2017
Father sits at the head of the table
Strong and loud and proud.
Across the corner, to his right  
Mommy sat up straight.
Straight across again from her,
Is stubby chubby Bobby.
A yawn,
a stretch,
His eyes are fighting lack of rest.
He was awake far too late,  
but can you blame the boy?  
He turns sixteen today.

Finally, was little Annie  
half her brothers age.
She sat alone at the table’s end
A chair apart from mother,
A chair away from Bobby.
She hid behind the table’s edge
That faced her towards her daddy.
Her face she hid in the elbow-pit
of her bent right arm,
hoping no one notices

the scratches that cover her face.

“So good to have us all together,”
Father shouts away,

“A shame, indeed, when work keeps me
from my loving family.”
His hair is short, straight, stiff and blonde,
gelled perfectly in place,
Yes, so very neat and clean.
Though, not so flattering.
The hair has a hateful streak
you’d swear,
It seems determined  
to bloat and puff,
the Rosacea cheeks he wears.
The sun dyed shadows underneath
the neatness he perceives as
all important.
The cousin of Rudolph
he could be called,
his cheeks ignite and flush,
but still he wears his toothless smile
after tasting his ten A.M. toddy.

Mommy’s hair is a black whirlwind
attempt at taming with a scrunchie,
Yet failing to mask the mess it was.

Understandable,  
acceptable,
she had cleaned the house again.
Wiped every crease  
and every surface

no filth hides from her hawk eyes
Though the house was spotless  
when she began.
She still smiles,  
“Oh yes! So good!  

It’s been too long indeed!

We all are grateful for father’s attendance,
for Bobby’s sweet sixteen.”

Bobby’s smile didn’t fit his face,  
He’s too fat to reveal all his teeth.
No fault of his of course,  
happenstance and lottery
Still,  
that smile of his is one you simply never seem to want to see.  

“I’m really quite ecstatic myself,”  
Bobby proclaimed (every tooth exposed),
His teeth fade away  
He looks at his plate
“And although I know, I still wish,
I could have had a friend attend.”

Annie was neither stupid nor blind,
when three faces glanced
and two danced away.
But Father spoke up, addressing his daughter,

Shouting what he had to say,
“You know how stressed,  
little Annie gets!
With big days like today!
It’s not all bad! It’s for the best!  
I’m myself am very glad!  
See how well she has behaved?”
Bobby gave a knowing nod, and threw Annie a glare.

Annie did not respond;
Annie simply stared.

Father made a violent sound;
saved himself from a phlegm cave-in.
Now prepared to roar once more
at an eight-year-old with tremors.

Yet the words were nothing more than whispered.

“Now, Annie, why is your beautiful face so scratched?”

Annie did not respond.  
Annie simply stared.  
Then tucked her face in her elbow pit,
and swallowed a chunk of tears.

Mommy heard the gagged-up sorrow
and quickly interjected.  
“I found steel wool in the bath again,  

Annie likes them so.
If I’ve told her once  
Then I have a hundred times more,
They remove the filth from the dishes,
but not from little girls.”
Annie says,
“I know.”

Mommy fibs inside again,
a lonely little liar.  
Wishes her intervention  
was that of heroic martyr,  
But mommy interrupted
to save herself from silence.
Because sometimes in the noiseless stillness  
mommy feels an echo
it bounces from her spine to sternum.
That’s when she feels the lack of soul.
Hollow, mommy. Hollow.

Mommy held her smile hard,  
the silence only wins inside.
Glued-on cheer feels natural,
if you only wear It for a time.  
Her sawblade smile stayed
so perfectly monotone;  
statuesque.

The echo’s echoing too much,  
surely all the others hear?

Mommy croaked a giggle out,
and passed the cake around.
“Eat up! Eat up!
I worked so hard!  
I made it perfect!”

There were three plates that did not hold cake,
At least not for very long.
Seemed Annie simply liked the look,
And what a look it was!
Mommy made a masterpiece  
To say less is heresy!
Yet, now down two slices of masterpiece,
stubby chubby Bobby’s peace,
was no longer something he could keep.

“My God, how rude!
Annie hasn’t touched her food!”  

Father was just behind,
he, too had no peace of mind,  
he bellowed out,
“It really is rude!
It’s simply not fair!”

Mommy’s echo broke through the noise,
Mommy stopped responding;
mommy simply stared.

Stubby chubby birthday boy Bobby,
spitting frosting and cake:
“You, ungrateful brat!  
Why do you act the way you do?”

Mommy tried to intervene again;
She tried to save the day.
But hollow people make no sound,
they simply waste away.

So, of course, that could only mean,
Annie gets a chance to speak!
Why does she act so disturbingly?
With scratches and tremors,  
and a tummy full of swallowed hate?

Annie said,
“I can’t just make believe that Daddy doesn’t **** me.”
Tuffy Mutombo May 2017
Deadly cells find comfort in my body
They grow and destroy my mind
inside I slowly die, my soul turns into a graveyard  
this pain robs me of energy
cancer oh how I hate what you have done to me
you infect me with agony that spreads like the ocean
touching every corner of my body
leaving me to fight this pain
which makes me feel deserted in a world full of many
Inside its cold and lonely, outside feels so empty
I fought you for years, gave you so many tears
as you flirted with my fears  
cancer what do you want from me
if it is my life you seek, my life you won't get
for that I will fight till the end of time
I will not give up, for I am a survivor
I was born to be stronger, hold on longer
Fight this battle with the love I get from others
Cancer I will overcome you one way or another
for I am a survivor
This piece was written for a co-worker of mine, to help her get through her battle with cancer. Thank you all for the support and reaching out to me.
Lexi Greenwood May 2017
Cold world goes silent
Where is the love today?
The hands they roam as my skin crawls
Nights and days. Why are they just grey?

I'm lonely. Please help me. Please heal me
Save me from my bed.
I would give me life for this to stop
I look in the mirror at who I should be
As I wipe a tear from my bruised cheek

I'm trapped and can't get out
The prison called my mind
The "what ifs" and "what could have been"
Why Is the world so d*mn blind?
He pushed himself against me
No more. Please no more


These hands, I'm *****. Save me
Please save me
Save me
Save
This is a poem written about the victims of ****** assault and their views during and after.
Dandelion spirit, and a thorny rose fighter.

You can't go carelessly picking up flowers without expecting one to be a biter.

For every petal that wilts, you'll get a sting.

Prickly thorns clinging to every single thing.

Nature can be soft and sweet, but in every beautiful landscape there is a nearby guarding beast.

You cannot deceive flowers, for you are already deceived.

The petals sheild a warrior, and their sword is hungry to feed.
for ashley, one of my closest friends in the world and perhaps the one i hold closest to my heart. sometimes my maternal instincts take over and i feel the need to protect you from everything i can, but then i remember, you are so much stronger than youre given credit for. i'm so proud of you! i love you! thank you for being apart of my life
Joel M Frye May 2017
The Reaper may or may not be our friend,
depends on how much pain needs be reduced.
In time each one of us will meet our end;
we live as if we've not been introduced.
To Whom It May Concern:
When you've stared down the barrel long enough, you learn to ignore the vision...but you still listen for the click of the trigger.
Michael Potvin May 2017
I hear his muddy footsteps
as he enters the room.
The stall door creaks
from the slightest touch of his monstrous hands.
I was only six at the time,
so innocent, so unaware of life's real darknesses.
The smell of alcohol on his breath
fills the room.
I am alone, alone, alone.
I cry for help, but the only answer
is silence.
I beg him to stop
but that only entices him.
Suddenly, my childhood is lost
with the slip of his hand.
Today, I am still haunted by those memories.
Still wary of strangers and what they may do.
And what for?
For your instant gratification?
For your ****** release?
No more. Enough.
You do not get anything from this.
Because I am still walking.
I am still alive.
I am still that same boy you violated 8 years ago.
You lose. I win.
This poem is the story of the day in which my life was changed. 8 years ago, I was molested. I hope to reach out to all of those going through ****** abuse and let them know that they are not alone.
R A Lee Mar 2017
She once was a great Oak tree but
She has been cut down
with every lie
You're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough.
She has been cut down.
One branch, two branches,
a slap in the face
another branch splinters another branch breaks.
You're to small now, like a sapling you are not strong.
Leaves begin to turn, her spirit withers like leaves in the winter.
Fists swinging as if they are axes
cutting deep
blood flowing like molasses.
She has been cut down
Down to a stump with nothing left,
but the scars that bear her story and hide her broken heart.
She has been cut down.
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