I'm like this again
It's an uncurable disease,
Just keeps on coming back
Making me want to die
I'm also afraid to die
I really want to live
I really want to want to live
But I still feel like this,
And I can't live with it

You say you love me,
They say they miss me,
Some even wants to be with me,
I can't believe a word they say
I can hear it, but not understand
Or feel it
Makes no sense at all,
why I still feel all alone

Might be that I never let them through,
Noone knows what's going on,
Going on inside my mind,
All my broken thoughts, hopes, wishes and dreams
Crushed into the one thing
That I've always been able to feel,
and to understand;
The strong and powerful pain
It's like it's always with me,
Even when I am starting to feel fine,
It's still with me,
the pain then starts to rain all over me
It won't ever go away from me

Can't I ever be free?
Why have I felt like this forever?
I thought things would get better,
I always do, but it never lasts
The pain takes me straight back
It never tells when it's going to strike
But when it strikes, it strikes
I'm certain of that

Will this be my future?
Day in and day out...
A glimpse of happiness,
Then just excruciating pain
Like there's no way out
You give and then you take
Everything that's left on the plate
More than you gave
Just to leave me with less
When I started to lose my suppress
I'm now suppressed to a whole new extent

I'm afraid to tell,
paranoid in every way,
A sound here, a shadow there
Someone wants me, I have to hide
They all want to take me down
Don't go outside, you'll be destroyed
The sun will melt you,
the rays will burn you,
And the daylight,
It will destroy you...
My mind says things I know aren't true,
But If I open up my state of mind,
I don't know if I'll get cured

I'm afraid to be ridiculed
I'm afraid to be looked down upon
I'm afraid to be framed
I'm afraid to be deceived
I'm afraid to be lied to
I'm afraid to be ruined

But must of all,
I'm afraid of growing old...
To die alone and unloved,
filled with unfulfilled dreams,
Years of depression and guilt
Of all the life I never lived
Wasted time, wasted memories
Just because of fear
how can I bear?

I doubt everyone's intentions
Even my own
In my heart,
I don't even know where I belong

I don't want to take my life, I want to start my life

My disease complicates my soul
When it rains at the most,
it turns into an ocean, I've been here before
The question is...
Will I swim through this time too,
or will this be the time I drown?

When the sun goes down
All darkness seems to hold
Now the light is to fold

So give this life some sort of reason
So we can all stay and move on to the next…

The text within, remains unopen
The last path stays, unbroken
The voice left unheard

So give this life some sort of reason,
So we can all survive

And the darkness starts to learn
And the light is to return

So give my life, all the reason to live

And fall into the dream

Night wanders into day
dew upon a grass bed
the sky shatters
into a million pieces
sunlight impaling
a shield of clouds
the air of warmth
fills the lungs of birds
with the song of joy
and my weary heart beats
in tune to their happiness
the ignite of will
to lift myself up
from between this rock and hard place
to soar as eagles do
higher than high
conquer life

We will weather
The lightning of fists
The thunder of words
The rain of tears

We will survive
The war of love
The wounds of him
The blood of her

We will withstand
The sea of hate
The tides of battle
The wave of emotions

We will become
The voice of reason
The song of safety
The music of freedom

Everything is brighter
Too much light
Too many people
Crawl back in
Crawl back in
This is all too much

Take a deep breath
Smile too hard
Smile too little
This is all too much
This is all too much
Pretend to be someone else

This will work
Try to be happier
Try to be brighter
Pretend to be someone else
Pretend to be someone else
Will survive

Laugh a little
Go out into the world
Go out into the light
Will survive
Will survive
Will definitely survive

Fearing and seeing
Death, wars and bleeding
Hearts, lives receding
Like the tide
It's turning

Inside, it hurts
Painkillers don't work
Demons, in night, lurk
This fire is burning!

I will not die,
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life
Worth singing about!

Drowned out in music
F_ck it, let's do this
Flips up a hood
Burn the world, it's what's good!

Mesmerised, little flame
Life is one big game
Play it how you want
Just don't be mad when it's gone!

I will not die
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life
Worth singing about!

Time ticks, clocks wear
Down and they all tear
Rip the time they represent
They all sound unpleasant

Ticking and clicking
In the night they keep working
Away at my sanity
Sandpaper to insanity

I keep pushing, he pulls back
It's hard for me to relax
When I go to sleep at night
It's a hard-won fight!

I will not die
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life...
At all

Emotionally exhausted.
My thoughts have officially lost it.
I found my goals and mapped it.
Discovered my pain and masked it.

Lost my soul, and I'm stuck here.
Trapped without it.
I'm running all these miles on manipulation.
Not a moment of hesitation.

Riled up lionhearts.
Dashing into every darts.
It's my gun and, I keep jumping into all of this.
This is a mess, a puzzle that nobody can solve.

My heart is addicted to this pain.
There is no way to stop it.
Running all these signs.
Racing all these lights.

No doubt about it, it's definite now.
Full-forced through the windshield.
I don't like the cards I was dealt.
Waiting it out, playing every card.

Desperate for a win.
Seal up the doors, don't let the devil in.
He's coming to collect me for my sins.
I have collected one too many sins.

My shots are just hitting the rims.
And I keep shooting.
I'm still losing, and I choose to keep on.
I'm far beyond exhausted.

All of it's costing me too much.
Losing it all in the hopes of getting everything I have ever wanted.
Daunted by my demons.
And I'm haunted by feelings.

I keep trying to find my meaning, so desperate for any type of reason.
To keep on despite all these dealings.
Concealing all of this. Shielding all of this.
Just by breathing.