Everyone goes through some stuff in their life that they want to change.
Something that hurt them, someone who changed them, a situation that could have been avoided.
And we have to face the realization that we can't change any of it.
I wish I could write a letter to myself.
My past self.
I could tell her that the minds of teenagers get dark and scary.
I would inform her that razors should only be used to shave.
I would plead that she didn't let her insecurities stop her from reaching her goals.
I would enlighten her that no matter how much make-up, dieting, or personality changes she commits too; its better to change for yourself than turn into something your not for others.
I would encourage her to not think twice. STOP OVERTHINKING.
I would remind her that she is young and yes, death is unpredictable but so is your ability to reach your biggest dreams. Reach for your dreams.
Don't think of death as a dead line; great things take time.
Everyone makes mistakes.
I would tell her that one day she will have these unexplainable feelings for a girl. It will seem impossible, but do not give up on her.
I would warn her about the high school boys that will only use her, no matter how Christian they are.
Create friendships, get to know people before you give yourself away.
Let things take its course and you may be surprised where it takes you.
I would explain all of the great things that I have experienced, and inform her that the world can be bright.
I would remind her that her parents only want what is best for her, and they are more supportive than she thinks.
I would let her know that people will leave her, and it will be hard for awhile, but she will survive.
You will survive.

How can we breathe
in a society that
is constantly squeezing
our throats?

How can we walk
in a world that
is constantly chaining
our legs?

How can we be
in a place that
is constantly telling
us no?

"No," it says,
"That job isn't
enough for you to
survive."

"No," it says,
"Those clothes aren't
enough for you to
win him."

"No," it says,
"That thing isn't
enough for you to
impress."

"No," it says,
"You are not ever
enough to amount to
anything."

Well, I think it's time
we say "No" back.

My freckles
Lay among the clouds
As shining stars
Shimmering as angel hearts

My hands
Caress the sand
Of the ocean floor
Far below the shore

My hair
Waltzes with the wind
As an aerial dance
A ghost at first glance

My vitality
An elemental force
Never to be extinguished
Never to be vanquished

How do you explain the aftermath of battle?
To someone who has never heard of war.
Yes, there is the blood and the bruises,
But I cannot explain how my brain is sore.

Just like you will never unlearn an answer:
I will never un-feel his hands around my throat.
The words were anchors on my ankles,
When to live I had to float.

Your body heals quickly,
And eventually so does your mind.
But you remain changed: a different person
Reminded by scars left behind.

It’s hard to fight the urge
To defend the person I learned to be.
The fight always has it’s tole,
even once you’re free.

When my brain and body fought in war:
I bled and burned and hid and cried.
And now all I can do is apologize
To the person who survived.