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Empire Mar 2020
Frankly,

All I really want is to drink myself to death.
Unless I can convince someone to let me drink, I’ll have to wait another ten months...
Dicra with an E Mar 2020
What's up with the fade?
Is there something wrong?
I wonder if you read my note,
I slipped it into the woods.

You painted to me,
And your art was full of red,
You counted the frustrations,
And afflicted your mind.

I wish I would hug you tighter,
To feel the beats of your heart,
I would know how much life was left,
Now, the silence scares me away.
Corrinne Shadow Mar 2020
I'm really sorry but I have to die.
It's been fun,
I was nice and high,
But now that I've
Come crashing down,
There's no other option but to let the ground
Embrace me like a wretched worm.
I lit the match.
It's time to burn.
There was a girl who loved to read
She would read the faces of other people
Those tiny, hidden, subtle expressions
That were passive but she was capable

She could read the voices of others
Those who aged within the pages
Who stayed immortal in written words
Immune to the outside life changes

She would read atmospheres and moods
In order to know what to portray
She became a character who was dependent
On what the readers wanted her to play

She treated each new encounter
Like a newly rewritten page
Good ones filled with laughter
Bad ones became a cage

Stuck between the same pages
Trapped under the same words
Desperately wanting to flip to the next
A new page or at least the next verse

She was imprisoned inside a book
That gathered dust and was rarely opened
Trapped inside a story that wasn't hers
Only made her feel more broken

She was irrelevant, a side character
In a world that was not written for her
She was only a minor character
Who would not be cared for if she died first

She was a reader, not a storyteller
Her mind consumed people's stories
Lost and confused on an unwritten path
Consumed more of her prematurely

New character roles and labels
Became etched into her skin
All of what was expected of her
To survive the story she was in

With every word written on her
Strayed further from who she was
Every dialogue from which she spoke
Only strengthened her facade

But everyone is a storyteller
Anyone who has a life
She ventured off from the narrative
And created her own story line

She twisted the story's plot
To carve in a new script
To tell the story that is her
In memory of a misfit
Asominate Mar 2020
Sometimes it feels
Ever so slightly annoying
Sometimes I just can’t
Be on my best behaviour

Life is a test,
I’m failing my papers
I want me dead
But that is for later

I am obsessed
There isn’t enough evidence
My worthlessness’s
Determined by my intelligence

Days. Weeks months: time
I’ll tell you that I’m feeling fine
My performances are only Fs

I WANNA TEAR EVERY LIGAMENT TO SHREDS
My heart is what broke
I sw**r I wouldn’t do it again
Knives, lemme *******?
Can’t disappoint you if I am dead
"Get lost and never be found."
That’s what she said
Sometimes I wish I was worth more than my intelligence.
Asominate Mar 2020
Pop ‘em pillies
OD on my pellets, I know
It ain’t pretty:
Experienced, suicidal
Gotham city
All up in head I rave, yup
Desperate times
I will show you how bad I gave up

Shovel in my hands
I’m digging my own grave
You don’t understand
It’s too late to be saved
Falling for the trap
To be poisoned, no comment
There’s no turning back
Let’s pretend I’m a rodent

Pop ‘em pillies
Pop, pop
Pop ‘em pillies
Pillies
It ain’t pretty
The ways that I **** me
I’m my own pest control
And I dig my own grave
These are just one of the ways
To show you how bad I gave up
Got a couple of dark ones to post
Paper Heart Poet Mar 2020
You say that you need love
But when I hold you
You cannot hug me back

You say oh please, **** me
I wanna die now
Why don’t you let me disappear

Please don’t **** yourself
I’ll be your friend but
Sorry I can’t say no more

Knife on your veins
And tears in my eyes
Nothing’s gonna be better
Never

We’re watching the trains
Oh why can they leave
And why do we have to stay

You hate yourself and you
Know that they hate you
Because you’re not like
Them at all

You can see through me
And I can feel your pain
Put on your mask little boy
Try to live life like it matters

You could be saved or
You’ll be your own hero
It’s up to you not me
Anymore
Written originally as a song
N Jul 2019
Until dawn,
a cigarette ash
flew into her right eye

The cigarette remained alight
despite the flood of tears
streaming down her cheeks  

With such a hell
blazing inside her,
she put out fire with smoke

Solitude was her
only consolation,
and all she longed for

There is not a soul
that she yearns for,
but for hers to burn out
SheWritesForYou Mar 2020
Hello darkness, my old friend
I hoped you’d never come again
But here you are destroying me once again
Killing my soul, giving me pain.

Hey darkness, my dear friend
I know you always wanted me dead
Making me suffer, choking my throat
You make me cry like no one else

So now i give up to you and everyone
I only want rest
The eternal rest
Which will give me peace.
Gray Dawson Mar 2020
First couple days back from the hospital
And already I am hostile
I see razors and want to bleed out
I see rope and want to hang

This is probably going to be a bad thing

I see socks that make good chokers when knotted together
I see paint that makes good poison when drunk
I've lost my innocence
I've found the ugly side of life

I used to see things as mere objects, not weapons

Staples, used to be just a utility for a stapler
Glass used to be something you sweeped away
Detergent used to be a laundry item
And knives used to be eating utensils

All I see now is suicide

I dream about slitting my wrist open
Watching the red spill from my arm
Smiling as I bleed to death
Sweet serenity

I've been writing notes

One to my friend
One to my brother
One to my teacher
And one to a ex-lover

I've become what I once thought improbable
I've become suicidal
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