I don’t want to pray about you.
Not because God and I are taking a break,
Not because I’m busy,
Not because I can’t close my eyes without blinking away tears.

But because I’m scared.
I admit it,
I’m scared.

I’m scared that God will take you from me,
I’m scared that he’ll smite me for loving you.

I’m scared that God will cast me out of your garden,
I’m scared that the snakes and I are tangled into each other.
(We’re unrecognizable. Who knows where slither starts and fingertips end.)

I’m terrified that God will tell me that you and I aren’t meant to be,
That we are abominations.
That this wasn’t a match made in heaven.

That we are slowly falling,
In love,
Back to earth,
With wings scorched black—

Please.
Don’t ask me to pray,
Or you just might catch me with my eyes wide open whispering sweet nothings to a God I’m fearful of.

snakes surrounding my trailer
kick down the door
break all windows
knock me to the floor
I know what they're here for

they want me
I know that they want me
they don't even hide it
black eyes, black hair, black stare
he doesn't even hide it

a punch to the guts
a cut on my cheek
kisses me with a fist
my eye as black as his
he knew he wouldn't miss

and they want me
I can feel they want me
he doesn't even hide it

whisper into the night
hissing like vipers
biting like vipers
poisoning my wine
running out my nose
poisoning my mind

they got me
they know that they got me
I don't even hide it
black eye, black hair, blank stare
he takes my hand
and leads me out.

When I was little,
my mother often threw me snakes
into the bed
so I could play.
I picked them up,
lifted and squeezed them,
preventing from reaching my face.
They opened mouths,
trying to push air
through their throats.
With a woman in bed,
when I get out of her hands,
I sometimes fall,
grab the last in the fist.
Clench my tongue, twist my back;
turn blue.
Then I don’t let the air out,
scratch my neck. Pretend
it was a snake bite. Play around.

Cry me a river
Of insure little tears
Sparkling like diamonds
Filled with your greatest fears
Let it glisten, Let it flow
Down your cheeks
To the land below
Salty to the tongue
Taste it upon your skin
Be still my little darling
He's watching with a grin
Thriving off your sadness
He pushes the knife further in
Prying on your weakness
To unveil deeper sins
Sins that have been locked away
Beneath the facade of a smile
Nothing bothers the angel dear
Even those who are vile
Emotions make you weak
Nobody wishes to see the evil
Disgusting feelings of envy
That you so dearly keep
Rage and jealousy
Hide them away
Calm and gentle
Let them stay
For nobody will love
A girl who displays
Her heart boldly upon her cheek
They will fire their arrows at the rate
Of the time it takes for your heart to break
Run and hide with all your might
Do all you can but fight
Foxes they play
Snakes they bite
In the den you are trapped
You know that I'm right
And while in the home of the serpents
You will come to know
That the faces you loved
Are the first to go
And its then you will see
That surrounded by people
Is the moment you realize
You are truly alone

For nobody is willing to enter the den of those that break
As all the friends you loved turned out to be that of those very same snakes

-

I could feel the longing in her eyes
As we spoke
Each word she whispered stung and ached
Like the bite of a venomous snake
But every move she made had screamed
With unspoken apologies
Apologies for what,
I did not know.

the serpent eats its tail
in my backyard
it waits patiently to
scar my back
remove the snakes,
they'll come again
the circle of life
fight back in vain
don't mind them