I see your inside outside
smiling at me
topography of your personality

You live on "borrowed time"
At least that is the story you say
If that actually is true
Can you explain the delay?
Knowing how fake you are
Sure it's just a lie
Many of your words are *******
Surprised you are not covered in flies
Uncertain how you got to this point
Was a time where you once stood tall
What I mean;
You had a reason to
Still do with no reason at all
I guess along journey you changed
The person that I see
Became a perfect example
Example of who NOT to be
You tread upon backs of others
In order to get what you want
Even if that means inflicting pain
You do not mind being a ****
Not thinking about future
Solely focused on present thrill
Feeding on people's energy
Seem to never get your fill
I suspect you are miserable inside
That's why you tear others in two
Only way to ease your suffering  
Make everyone as unhappy as you
But never seem to shed a tear
Wear a permanent grin
I believe it's because you are striving so hard
Concealing the agony within
Broken so many ways
Have a house but it's not home
Without family to return to
Probably easier to roam
A steady rotation of bodies
Little boys avidly chasing your tail
Your company isn't free
Because *****'s for sale
Thrown like a football
Highest bidder gets the pass
You get bored-no problem
There is always greener grass
Your life rests in ruins
Lost so many parts
Kids
Friends
And reputation
Vanished like your heart
Falling apart a piece at a time
Pretending to keep together
We both know you can't maintain
Perfect charade forever
Your youthful beauty all but dead
Wear so much paint on your face
Entire cosmetics section of Walmart
Stuffed into your makeup case
I see beneath false advertisement
True colors bleed right through
Under skin is grey and black
Soul the ghastliest hue
Reflected in statements you make
Sound either insane or idiotic
Unsure if you are playing stupid
Or you are truly that psychotic
It appears you hurt those around you
Because you can
As if you don't have enough suitors
Steal another woman's man
Your cruelty clearly defined
At least it is from my point of view
Fool everyone else surrounding
A persona that isn't true
But karma will catch up in the end
Hope you're destined to be alone
I feel that is what you deserve
Frozen straight to bone
It's never too late to turn over a new leaf
Begin treating people right
You have to want improvement
Fear for you it's out of sight
Content with road you're walking
Not knowing where it leads
Flesh poked with needles
Uncaring it bleeds
Darkness swallowing you whole
Don't seem to be aware
It's strangling the last bit of goodness
Within remaining there
I do not understand how you can glance
In mirror and not feel disgust
All the disappointment you've caused
Lost a lot more than just trust
Next time you drag name through the mud
Make sure own hands are clean
You have more sins in your book
Than a ***** magazine
If expecting us to back down
In for quite a surprise
Soon as we go toe-to-toe
I will cut you down to size
So better watch your mouth
If the plan is to avoid confrontation
Free to do and say whatever you please
I warn you - there will be retaliation

On the hill Golgotha
there, planted, was a tree,
Soaking up a Man's life blood
The blood that made us free.

It was planted by the Man
In the hill, a wooden stake
He had to drag it halfway up
His life it would then take.

A horror to be witnessed
By a roaring crowd
Round "The Skull" they cursed the man
Their hatred was his shroud.

But the man said nothing
Though everything He heard.
He heard all the cursing
But he said not a word.

He laid down his arms and legs
Quietly on the cross
He fully knew all pain He'd feel
Aware of the full cost.

A crown of thorns upon His head
Blood and sweat were in His eyes
He drank vinegar and gall
While he heard the cursing cries.

There were two other men on trees
Who went to die up there
One met the Man in Paradise
The other met despair.

The Man beat Satan on that day
Beat him at his game!
He tore the Veil twixt us and God
Jesus was His name.

Christ died that you and I might live
Yes, He died for you and me!
He laid down his life that day
On "The Skull" and the tree.


SoulSurvivor
Write of Passage
2022

pale sickness
you're white as a sheet

draining illness
your clammy white skin
rots

deathly light
the diseased white sun will bleach your bones
after the doves pick them clean

sickly white
your cracked teeth clatter out of your skull
dominos in a dead white jar


trembling hands the color of spoiling milk
carefully cradle an almost translucent infant
mother and child
both far too weak to feed

the only thing that grows here is decay
white mold thrives on your hoarded white bread
while outside the safety of the white picket fence
there is not a single soul who does not
recognize the white of an unburied skeleton
under a full moon

I am a terrible person for what I know I have to do
But I am only human and deserve to be happy too
I am used to depression
It's been a long time friend
But as long as we are together it surely won't end
Not because you abuse my body or my feelings
But because you aren't helping the **** with which I'm dealing
You may be sweet but you make me feel sour
Quiet because it is easier to cower
Than to pick a fight that is impossible to win
Aggravation works it's way further under my skin
You are supposed to have my back
Clearly you do not
You throw me under the bus without a second thought
I wish I would have waited before rushing in headfirst
It seems with bad judgement I am hopelessly cursed
An impatient creature
Now both are paying the price
Because I am too foolish to stop and think twice
I know you will be angry
You have every right to be
But I have faith that in the future you will see
That this decision really is for the best
It only gets harder the more time we invest
I know deep cuts now are engraved on your soul
It wasn't my intention to carve out a hole
But attraction has slowly shifted to dismay
"I love you" is a phrase that toward you I'll never say
The way I looked at you changed after our first fight
And has only grown worse since that night
I held on hoping situation would improve
And one day of your actions I'd actually approve
But our relationship dies a little bit more
Each time you do something that I deplore
My eyes are finally open to who you really are
Too bad to see it took getting this far
This whole time I've held on wishfully thinking
It will get better but problems aren't shrinking
I'm ready for this to be over
Yearn to be free
Keeping your emotions safe is mentally draining me
A grave is already dug now it is time to lay to rest
The remains of our romance
Suffered cardiac arrest
You can yell if you want to or call me names
Whatever it takes to break these heavy chains
I have bottled up the truth for far too long
Pretending it might work despite it feeling wrong
I ignored my instinct in fear of loneliness
But these gnawing doubts have gotten too large to repress
Obnoxious ocurrences are a routine indication
Of our incompatibility
Leading to irritation
It seems we are both holding the other down
Not only do you not make me smile
You widen my frown
I am fully aware I frustrate you as well
Without saying one word by your expression I can tell
I don't want to be the source of your despair
But the weight of commitment has become too much to bear
I have wanted to cry out loud but kept my mouth closed
But these silenced concerns beg to be exposed
I think the moment is past overdue for you to hear
The honest thoughts crowding my skull no matter how severe
I apologize for hurting you
Hope you believe it wasn't my plan
I would stick it out awhile longer but am not sure that I can

Yesterday's heroes
neoteric delinquents
the Grateful dead.

i’ve been told once before
that when you stare into the Darkness
it begins to stare back at you

until i visited
your grave
i never believed Them

i sat and stared
at the nameless headstone
callously placed amongst the shadows
and i mourned

my tears falling delicately
on the loose soil that concealed what was left of you

until i held your hollow lifeless Skull
in my trembling fragile hands

and met your tender gaze

random thoughts bouncing
inside my skull i'm writing
what they tell me to