I walk into the hall slipping on my silver mask.
At this ball I don’t have a name, my face smeared with the others
I watch their lips dancing in conversation
As I feel my heart,
A gentle dagger tucked close

I can see you looking at me
Lips in a soft smile
Face shrouded in gold
Were you waiting for me?
Soon enough we’re dancing
And your royal laugh fills my daisy head
Oh, what do you want from me?

And then you leave
Why did you leave?
You leave me among these flawless faceless people
With the perfect fake dancing faces
        “Oh **** it all, darling”
I mutter as I step into the snow

I can see the people looking at me
These mess of people, faces uncovered
As I search the powder sugar streets
My silver dress sticking out like a dandelion in seafoam
I just want to be home
Or I maybe want to be in your arms
I’ve yet to decide

Before long I spot you again
Standing in the corner, black coat dangling on your golden arm
Were you waiting for me?
You smile and draw a breath letting your cold breath cloud in the air
        'Oh **** it all, darling'
I think as I step closer to you

Your nodding features drew me in
I show my happy painted face
Hide my truth under the silver mask
Your’s a strong gold
All I see is your artistic lips and jaw
You smile and hold my cold hands
Warming them with your breath

My dagger heart falters
The metal slowly melting with the ice of my hands
Oh, why did you have to be so **** charming, darling
You take my arm and spin
The silver and gold of our skirts swimming at our ankles
As you lead me to your home

We’re inside now and you light a fire
It’s dancing arms out wide
I sit by it and look at you
And the room
I want to know
I want to know everything
You slip beside me
Your warm hands tracing over my face
As you pick at the edge of my silver mask
And gently take it off

You look in my eyes
Your gold mask now sitting next to mine
I admire the color of your face
We speak
I laugh
And I realize how I’m falling fast
As fear clings to my chest
You trace my cheek
What are you doing to me
I smile at you and whisper
“Oh **** it all, darling”
As I reach for your face.

I draw with silver 'till it turns red
Not on surface, but in depth
I draw in time, in life, in motion
I draw in pain and create art

I wither. I fail. I scream
I will not wake. Not ever from what awaits.
Silver abode and dark tusks.
No room for me. No room for mourning.

Sharp tongue and jolly seeming eyes
not aware of the deception
not wary of the sun that sets.
Because dentures and all, silver abodes
with dark tusks.

They come and find me. Not gold. Silver
Nor a gleam of a crown.
A gleam of parchment and sharp ink
for that is my silver and my home.

I open myself
Beware of silver tongues
The devil places
People in your life
Just as the Angels do

She took a part of me
She knew exactly what she was doing
With my soul
And I, young
Not jaded enough
Fell into the well
I fell into being used
But you didn't get much, huh?

She wasted her time
With someone who presented
Such a simple mind
But if she couldn't dig deep and find
The person I've been trained to hide
She wasn't worth my time
Then why can't I get this demon
From my head?

I've tried
Yet the memories
My brain rings embarrassing
Replay to me at night
Did I truly think I had a chance?
With 100 pounds of nonsense?
Sure, I tried
Forget that waste of time
In time,
I'll forget that waste of time

The moonlight.

It’s silver, it’s calming—it brings me some hope.

Its presence, though distant, is constant.

It lightens the burden of sorrows

until I am lost in these horrors.

What makes me – imposter? a monster?

I shiver; it’s frightening—I plead all to stop,

to rewrite—

the moonlight.

Every poem is a gemstone
Every word a jewel
Set in silver, or in gold
Our muses bring renewal.
They convey. They have their say
In amethyst or beryl.
They are Bisbee turquoise
Or luminous as pearls.
Ruby smoulders, garnets dark
Gems from 'round the world.

Some are facets emerald green,
Some are for our ears.
Some are fashioned for the throat
Some aquamarine tears.
Some black onyx pendants
To play upon our fears.

Rings to place on fingers
For friendship or engagement.
Some are placed in
Deep dark drawers
As tokens of estrangement.
But no matter how
They're placed
'Tis meaningful arrangement.

Topaz golden moments
Pirite is for fools
But ALL poems are diamonds

All of them are JEWELS.

SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
11/23/2020