One that's rare. At least, to me.
It's nothing you can see
Because it's deep inside all of us
But to me, it's an absolute must

Now I don't ****** anyone
To get my kicks and my fun
I don't open them up with a slice
Because this doesn't require the taking of a life

If you wonder how I get it
Let me go on and chat-chit
I'm incapable of production of this substance
So every now and then I do my stunts and hunts

Actually my supplier kind of gives it to me
His name's David, has a PhD
He hands me the bottle of the pills
So I can take them, and get my fills

The pills are a gateway to the drug
That I lack but especially love
It takes long to kick in
But it also let's me once more grin

I'm addicted to a drug
That makes me feel snug
Its name is serotonin
And it just gets me going

Your chiseled body
With skin
So delectable
My fangs
At your neck
I taste on you
Sweet serotonin
Setting me high
Catch me
If you can
For I’m falling
In love
With the sweet throbs
Of passionate burst
When your fingers
Draw your desires
On my petals

Day 33, a review:

Without it, I sit,
And if I'm bored, then I sleep.
With it, I am up:
I look with wide open eyes,
Eyes that see the world
And all I could be doing.
I step with purpose,
Standing tall and confident.
I wake, take the pill,
Eat my food, drink my coffee,
And drive off to work
With an automatic smile,
And I sing along
To the songs I know by heart.
Without it, I sit,
And if I must stand, I lean;
Dragging tired feet,
Holding a troubled tummy,
And wishing I'd wake.
In the end, on these days off,
I find energy:
I discover the reserves
Of serotonin,
Dopamine and endorphins
That my body saved,
Keeping stored for "the future."
My brain slowly learns,
And the fuel to keep going
Isn't out of reach.
So on these days off,
I won't despair or decay.
I used to collapse,
Before I knew my full strength
And what it felt like
To set my mind and finish.
So help me today,
God, let this Adderall work
To give energy
And to strengthen my body
For this scary four-mile hike.  

~didn't get my refill before leaving for vacation~

I live on Melancholy Hill
A place quite hard to find

I live my life running low on serotonin
The gasoline that makes me go

I will never be fully satisfied
Curiosity and creativity go hand in hand

I stare out over my hill and wait
Always waiting and waiting to be rescued

I live my life in my mind
Talking has never been a strong suit

I sit on my hill with a megaphone
Its the only way I'm heard

I am rarely seen, always listening, and perpetually dying
People forget about me

I am told I have a black soul
Only I like the way it feels

I feel every emotion more than other people
Highly sensitive and dramatic

I know when you're lying
But sometimes I'm wrong

I can't seem to get happy
My happiness depending on others

I have goals and dreams
They are as far away as the stars J loves

I love too deeply
It never gets returned

I am learning to be myself
Doing things because I want to

I walk down my hill and into the the forest
A map has not been supplied

I live on Melancholy Hill
Forever feeling too deeply, Hardly ever happy.

i always have everything
everything .
Except for serotonin and dopamine

For a while, all there was, was excitement. A trembling in my body and bones, an increase in my blood. Serotonin flooding each neuron and making me feel satisfied with all life had to offer for a moment.

But excitement is a petty lover. She gets bored quickly and tends to seek for more troubling things. First alcohol and then more powerful beings. She pops pills and drinks spirits, trying to seancé the happiness that has left her dry and dead. I suppose I'm always left as the channel.

It's perplexing. For a time, each second last minutes or days; and all I feel is a type of passion while stuck in a haze. But happiness doesn't belong here. This is not where she's known. Yet, excitement still plays, lounging on a pill-bottle thrown and plays these moments for days at a time (or maybe it's only seconds, one could never tell).

It becomes catching. Soon my body forgets how happiness feels but it is intimate with passion. It knows how strong the desire for things truly are. When you see the thing you love, serotonin begins rushing through your blood. But vices never seem to love me as much as I love them. For I consume them. Taking each morsel inside me because if it's left in the hollow of my chest, perhaps it will stay.

But excitement (or is it passion?) is always fleeting.

Drug; he controls my brain.
He stirs an irresistible blend of chemicals in my body and convinces me to fall for him; he increases blood flow to the primitive areas of my brain and activates the circuits responsible for love and desire.

Adrenaline; he balances my stress.
He keeps my heart strong and healthy as thoughts of him and us dominate me and excite me, prompting me to get tachycardia (fast heart rate above 100 bpm) and my blood pressure to rise.

Dopamine; he regulates my focus.
He stimulates desire and triggers pleasure in me; I remember everything about us, then forget about my surroundings; I am motivated to please him, then I daydream and become unable to stay on task.

Serotonin; he stabilizes my mood.
He charms and induces me to perspire and relax, crave and distance him, lose and gain sleep, feel pain and relief, get happy and upset, and decrease and increase my immune system functions.

Medication; he forces my loveswept cells to go haywire.
He has cured my lovesickness, shooed away my regrets, helped me move on from my past, boosted my (self-)confidence, made me look forward to tomorrow, and offered me a ticket to bliss.

Oxytocin; he enables me to produce lovestruck hormones.
He affects my moral molecules as he attracts my undivided attention, pushes me to trust him, raises attachment and empathy, brings psychological stability, and encourages me to want to be closer to him.

Vasopressin; he causes me to secrete lovetastic chemicals.
He renders me monogamous and continues to have me hooked onto him; he makes me thirst for him, display amorous behavior, defend him and us, and maintain a strong partnership.