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I have risen above the worst
not to spite you,
but despite you.
okay, maybe to spite you too
Amanda Francis Mar 2018
My fantasies have become very strange, I disturb myself at least once a day.

I imagine, my helpless body sinking. Sinking down deeper into an unknown. A memory of the only breath that would last a lifetime. A lifetime two minutes long.

I go to the library to find peace of mind, to find myself in the pages of a medical journal.
On the pages will be blooms of hope in the names of tablets that can ease my worried mind.

The cold sludge will embrace me tightly. Covering my eyes so I can't see any of the pain anymore. Holding my limbs tight, to remind me that its always there. That deaths embrace is certain. That I will be at peace.

Papercuts cover my frantically searching hands, like warriors. They're fighting for my life, a war against myself. Cramming pages into my eyes and plugging my ears with facts. A Freudian overload, a desperate attempt to medicalise my state of mind.

The thick taste of salty sand fills my mouth, my breath gasps, my involuntary reflex to save my life. The silence comes, the voices fade away. Its bittersweet that my death brings my every fantasy.

They clatter as they hit the sink, prescribed nonsense designed to pull me into myself. Make me more compliant. Dig my own hole deeper. Make me easier for society to swallow, for you to deal with. My hands have finally saved me, poured away the mind-altering remedies. Showed me the only thing I ever needed was already part of me.
Ronney Mar 2018
Praying with anticipation
Hoping the time never appears,
when the mind quits, the heart splits and life is held with a loosened grip.

Be Brave, Be Fearless
Be Strong, Be Bold


Lock hands, take heart and don’t let go
Reach out, speak out and let us know

Promise

When your ready
You’ll be guided towards the right road.
-Everyone needs help at some point, but we are reluctant to seek it for a variety of reasons such as pride and shame.

- There is no shame in asking for help.

-The humbling of ones character is the growth of ones character

-The first step to getting help is to help your self. To do this you must reflect and have self awareness. Be completely honest with yourself acknowledge that help is needed.

-Help must then be accepted in order to take effect.
PL McGroarty Feb 2018
Flashes of you careen into view.
The past ideas of us,
come walking into my mind.
Uninvited.
I ****** them out like they never meant a thing.

If I follow them...?
They’ll only steal mental peace.

It’s when my body gets flooded with that longing feeling.
The yearning.
My body hinders me, my will starts to melt.
Drenched and helpless....

It takes so much effort to force my claws out through the skin,
to scratch away the blind ideas of bliss,
to be fiercely dedicated to the evolution of my team.

Team SELF.

Because now. It’s too dangerous to wonder.
There's not enough space to contemplate “what if's”...

I’m curious about so many things.
But now it’s too dangerous to wonder.
Senor Negativo Jan 2018
Help Yourself!
Examine the lumber yard
squatting in YOUR eyes.
Take your srf books,
and burn them for warmth,
because this is all they are worth.
Do you know the words I share
with the spirit, in the dark hours?
Do YOU presume to know
what the most high condemns,
what is required by Our Father?

Now is the winter of my bitter content, for yet I lack,
and what is necessary is near,
but Not Present.
Your fumbling armloads
of Books, books, books
will not ***** my fire.
What logic could ever convince you
that this could ever be so.
You assume...
Let that sink in.
You assume
you have carte blanche to condemn, and your digital life preserver
is even going to work.
All that will work
is yet to be.

Soon is the spring
of my boundless bliss.
Who I need, will be found.
Until then, help yourself,
and stop ripping off the bandages
I wrap around myself,
to keep me
from grabbing a cheap date,
when what I have coming is a mate.

He makes concessions
where we are weak.
And demands
where we are strong.

A fire that might spread beyond
and devour the grasslands,
far away from the hearth
where it belongs,
must be tended,
and fed,
inferior wood...
until the proper bundle arrives.

Save your self help books.
They are not the fuel
that this fire requires.
I have all the help I need
it dwells inside me,
and it understands
what you are incapable
of comprehending
Kewayne Wadley Dec 2017
Yesterday I found a seed and theres no better place to plant it
Than in your heart.
I acknowledge that you've heard promise after promise.
And as time steadfast, these empty promises have become the reason it never rains.
The soil around your heart has turned cold and has become hard.
With more doubt comes unease.
And with more unease comes a reason to lash out and suffocate all the beauty
that surrounds within.
This at all is not the case.
For the neglect of a beautiful flower should never be in vain.
For the true crime committed is those who walk by afraid to be who they really are.
Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees.
You my beautiful queen are more elegant.
More beautiful than you can imagine.
For the thorns that grow along your stem are only a means to protect.
Not to be taken as a defect that takes away from how special you truly are.
A neglected rose can only continue to wither without everything needed to grow.
But until you can look and see the beauty within, everything around you will continue to be dark.
All I ask, is for you not to believe everything you see.
That in time, among the crowd.
Someone will stop and admire all the beauty you possess.
But until you yourself can see all the beauty you have.
You will continue to live in self doubt and suffocate everything around you.
Let yourself grow
Nick Huber Dec 2017
What do I do?!?!?
Answer me!!!!
Don't leave me alone.
A nod of the head will suffice.
Should I smash the mirror?
The face that stares back in dissatisfaction?!
Do I blind the eyes,
So they can't look into my own?!
Do I take the lit candle,
place it beneath my face?
Burn my skin, shave my face,
Change my look entirely?
Hello?!

Why can't you answer...
You don't have the time, or is the answer too painful?
It doesn't matter.
I have braved many storms.
Faced the sea in defiance,
Bound my wounds in gauze,
and counted the time it takes the sun to set.
I can handle you.
You who ridicules, charms, then throws my smile away.

You can never run!
I know your secrets!
I know your name!
And someday, your taunts,
Will fall on deaf ears.
I'll look into the mirror,
And stare back,
At my own lustrous eyes!
When I go through my own negative self-talk, I fight back. Even if I don't think I can succeed.
Lorem Ipsum Nov 2017
How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe.

-Matt Haig
Yet, so relatable.
Meg Oct 2017
I dance for my soul.

But you are a part of that. 

I dance for you.
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