Silence.
The darkness screams
as the moonlight trembles.
Unseen shadows hide the truth.
For what's lingering the night,
be all that unspoken.

A mutant dog chases me
Up the stairs, around the corner, into the room.
It backs me up against the wall
Into the scream.
But it isnt really that awkward painting that hangs above my bed, its
Only a balcony.
Up against the edge I go, teetering.
Out he sticks, a giant paw.
Up against me he pushes, I fall.
Into the depths, as low as Atlantis.
Everything fades to black…
I wake up screaming and sweat soaked.
Another fake in my life.

pacify my mouth with a white-knuckled fist
and kiss my scars with a tongue void of emotion
squeeze my knees together with hands too bruised to hold
with my shaking fingers
will the knots around my neck
  squeeze me like you do
    and leave bruises like you do
the ends of your hairs tickle me
along the sides of my neck
and tell me to scream
tell me to scream
scream when you leave me alone after dark
scream when the burn of alcohol no longer stings my lips
scream when the bags under your eyes turn into luggage
    stationed next to the front door
your hands around my neck tightens like the knots never could
and the luggage looks like heaven
and somehow i find myself in the inside of your suitcase

On this day
we are pierced
by the screams
of a new way
to undulate
across
the river
of life.

I can feel
I can feel
I've felt the sun
I know it's real

I know how to care
how much I do
all for you my dear
all for you

Oh how intense this pain will be
oh how long this hours dread
Please spare me, unknown deity
Forgive all that I've said

Let me slip
into the bottomless void
Let me fall
Please let me avoid

Save me
Don't let me relearn
What I know
Don't let the fire burn

Put it out
with the coldest of waters
replace it with even
the evilest of inner monsters

Just please
I pray
Don't let
Me float too far in stray

Please don't
let me sway

I'm aware my gift lives really
as a hopeless bane from above
so please oh please don't leave me to


*love

I write about the end because I'm scared of the present.
I don't wanna think of tomorrow, the thoughts aren't pleasant.
Forget about sleeping,
I'll just wake up weeping.
Can't handle the thoughts seeping,
My demons are too busy reaping.
"HELP ME!" My voice is shaking,
My mind and body are both breaking.
I could die and nobody would hear.
My screams were silent, I didn't even have tears.

they would've seen various city lights
danced under the stars
in the middle of the park at
midnight
they would've embraced each other
on a daily basis
palms colliding as their
fingertips intertwined
they would've exchanged secrets
without hesitation
snickering to relieve tension
they would've dreamed together
grasped opportunities
whilst remaining side by side
they would've grown old together
admiring how drastically their
surroundings changed
and how they succeeded in staying themselves
throughout everything
they would've lived
breathed
cherished
laughed
appreciated
loved
if he hadn't changed
if he hadn't noticed that he did

Count the seconds until my screams
drown the hysterical slashes
at the padlocked door;
until my ringing mind
confronts the blackened fear
hovering above my head.

A pair of eyes
piece my neck.
Yours.

Nobody is going to save me.