You’re acting so cold,
Sending chills through my bones.
You’re acting so bold,
That it sounds like a scold.

I knew who you were from the start  
But now I don’t know who you are anymore.
Maybe it’s just a phase
Because of all the pain you endured.

But brick by brick
the towers have grown tall
And I can’t see you at all.

I am trying to find a worn area,
I am trying to find a window
To the softness that once existed
Because it feels like
there is nothing between us at all.

It’s him again
There he comes bursting into my home, uninvited and unwelcome
He only ever comes over to scold me and insult me and harrass me
There is no end to the list of things he dislikes me over
And he wants to make sure I know all of them too
“You only care about yourself!”
“You barely put in any effort!”
“You always bring pain to others!”
Maybe he’s right about some of the things he says, who knows?
But I just want him to leave me alone.
I just want to be able to enjoy the things I like
And do the things I have to
But he keeps interrupting me
And I’m sick of it
Just as he’s about to go on another rant, I cut him short
“Let me show you the way to the door.”
I say to Myself.

I have a serious problem with this system
Stop trying to shove your ******* 'wisdom'
Unconcentually down my throat
I dont care what they wrote
Old ***** hundred years ago
Writing about things they dont even know
Makin up rules im supposed to follow
Despite their logic being hard to swallow
But they got the big blue boys
With their loud shiny toys
Making sure we do what we're told
Dont act right, they'll do more than scold
Theyll hide you away so no one can see
The realities of our society

Open,peep,light ,shut,
again,is there light,shut,fun.
Refrigerator.

To my DAD,
I’m sorry for being born
I’m sorry for being a girl but you know all my life I’ve tried to be a boy to you, as you always wanted but God didn’t gave you one
I’m sorry for being such a failure in life
I’m sorry for being a burden to you and mom, especially to you when mom passed away 3 years back
I’m sorry for being angry whenever I see you drinking alcohol and in the end you’re unable to stand straight. You see I’m more concerned about your health because I know the disastrous effect alcohol have on you and also it is the reason that my concept of a perfect family is ebbing slowly.
I’m sorry for telling you NOT TO DRINK ALCOHOL TOO MUCH
I’m sorry for yelling at you when you start to drink as I know you’ll crave for more after one bottle
I’m sorry for being angry when you invite your friends and your family over to drink a lot of alcohol because I know they are just momentary friendship and familial bonds, when you’ll fall ill nobody of the group will come to your help
I’m sorry for being so brutally honest when I tell you what effect of this new behavior of yours is affecting our relationship and also those of my sisters
Moreover I’m sorry for all that happen yesterday night : for telling you to go to bed and scold you like a child because you can’t wake up enough to walk to the bedroom
I’m sorry for helping you to stand and take you to your bed
I’m sorry for removing the glass from your hands and suggesting to carry it for him to his bedroom because of his inebriated state
I’m sorry because of me you’ve gotten angry and broke the glass into millions of tiny crystals on the floor
I’m sorry for caring too much
I’m sorry for thinking life is like a bed of roses and as long as I have my parents love I can overcome anything
I’m sorry for hoping you loved me and still do despite all this
I’m sorry for being a hurdle in your path to live your life fully. Though I would never understand how a child can be a hurdle as I was lead to think that a child is the greatest gift that GOD can give
I’m sorry for being unwanted
I’m sorry for not having the courage to end my pathetic life and remove myself from your path
I’m sorry for constantly trying to gain your attention, you see I yearn normalcy in my life where everything is fine, I have a loving father, perfect life and all

EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT, I’M REALLY SORRY DAD ……..

I wonder how you'll react when you find out what I've done
you won't be able to hit me or scold me because, I'll be gone.
But will you cry? Will you feel ashamed? Will you wonder why?
I don't think that you should, because now I'll no longer cry.

So don't ask why,
don't you dare cry...
Please, don't be too upset
I'm getting away from here
and with no regrets.