we began from the way
you looked at me.
familiarity became the way
you breathed,
heavy under my sheets.
please.
please remember
your heart beat.

It pushes me
Back and forth
Putting me on a whirlwind
Filled with so many emotions

You can catch me with feelings
of love
Or feelings
of sadness

It can drop me into feelings
Of anger
Or feeling
Of joy

I can feel so many things
For a certain amount of times.
But I will always know this.
The wind is always changing
and that I will not stay in those feelings
I will stay in those places

I will always be moving with time.

I am all half *** whispers and wrong sides of the bed, all lukewarm milk with cereal and mediocre drip coffee, all tosses and turns and no peaceful slumber

She looks at me
With those tired eyes
Heavy with the day
And the lashes hang like clouds
In the skies of grey
If only she knew
How beautiful she really was
But I'd never tell her
No I'll never tell her....

I can lie here..

     Damaged..

Harmed..

         Bleeding..

    Regression to the
    Fetal position.

    Like some sort of child.

Weeping.

      Crying.

          Hoping someone saves
          me.
                     But no one will.

I've suffered many dreams about you.

           I've endured a lot of
           torment for you.

     I've felt the phantom pain.

              Burn.

Seering.

          Seething.

                Mindlessness.

   ­       Meaningless.

Painful.
      
            

How could you allow yourself to become a ***** to the pain?
I needed you and you were no longer there for me.

Indeed..
   He needed you, dear.
      And you let him perish.
          He will always express.

             Because he believed
             you deserved care.

But I presume you didn't think the same about him.

        Or at least..
        It looks that way to him.
        He doesn't really know,
        to be honest.

Yet you come back and notice my distress.

And put me into conflict once more.

How am I supposed to feel?

My left trapezius hurts.
My heart is surrounded by darkness.
My soul cries out in agony.
My spirit surrounds me and protects me
in ethereal might.

I'm in ruins.
And it's like you don't care.

I know the process
Doesn’t make it easier
It starts off with shock
Then leads to red anger
I’ll bargain for peace
Till I sink to depression
And hopefully by the end
I’ll have found some acceptance
I know the process
Doesn’t make it easier
I still feel the sharp pain
Since life's been taken from her

And believe me little girl: there’s nothing you can do for someone who chose to be sad.

Perhaps if I could fit you in a jar,
no, a cage.
If only I could tie you down with ink to
a torn out page.
Maybe then I could forget you,
and bleed my last drop from this pen.
Maybe then I could forget you,
and let the paper suffer with you instead.