I want it to end , the pain, the torment
the feeling that I'm being ripped apart from inside out.
I walk around unnoticed
I sit crying, pleading for it all to stop.
I don't want it to feel this way.
There's nothing I can do differently,
it doesn't care.
This black cloud doesn't look at the person before affecting it.
It just does.
It just chooses never to leave.

Death of Happiness…by Jessie


As I walk down the moon lit trail to the bone yard of emotions,
Searching for Happiness…
I find the head stone I’ve been looking for.
Tucked away in an obscure corner of the yard, underneath the tree of forgetfulness and solitude; giving way to the ages and crumbling beneath the daily pressures of life.
There sits a stone, cold and gray and ravaged by the wind.
In it… carved for eternity … “Happiness”.
No dates for who knows when it perished?
There I stand, head hung down, never got to say good bye; never got to shed a tear.
Ripped away in early days; if I could only remember the year.
Resurrection doubtful and prayers never seem to help.
I’ll lay a pebble upon the stone as a marker that I have been here.
Write the date within my book, to remind me…
Retune same time next year.

pulling up to the lot, walking up to the doors
every instinct in me is yelling, screaming for me not to go inside
right in the front of the room, is a picture of you
the person we all knew: a jokester, an easy going, happy person
or so we thought
your friends are all crying, you can see the heartbreak on their faces
and i dont really like crying in public, so i try to hold back
but the tears wont keep themselves contained; they demand to be let out
i meet your mom for the first time, and wow does she look just like you
i smile for her, try to suppress the true emotions im feeling for her
cause god knows how she must be feeling right now
i see you inside the casket, and my stomach drops as i remember the first time we talked, the last time we talked, and everything in between
i wonder if i missed a signal or a sign that couldve clued me in to how you were truly feeling inside
and before i know it, it's my turn to say goodbye for the last time
but i cant stay there long; i cant look at you too deeply because truthfully i dont see you. i see an empty shell, a clone, a fake of what is supposed to be you but simply isnt you.
we hug everyone goodbye
we tell each other to be safe and that we'll be in touch soon
and then we leave
and that is all.