I'm going to bed happy
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

I'm going to bed with a smile on my face
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

I'm going to bed laughing
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels so good.

Ready for new opportunities.
Ready for exciting challenges.
Ready for more adventures.
Ready to welcome beautiful souls in my life.
I know that this won't be easy. Leaving was never really my thing.
I know there might come a time that I'll regret this decision.
But, somehow, it's the best option left right now.
I look back. I smile.
And in that moment, I know "I'm ready to take off."

WHY DO I LIVE IN THIS FANTASY DRIVEN WORLD

WHY DO I THINK THAT WHEN YOU’RE IN THE SAME TOWN AS ME FOR ALL OF 30 MINUTES THAT YOU’RE JUST MAGICALLY GOING TO SHOW UP AT MY DOOR AND WANT ME BACK

WHY DO I LET MYSELF GET SAD OVER THE FACT THAT YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO SHOW UP

WHY DO I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE CONDITIONED BY THE TV SHOWS AND MOVIES WHERE THIS IS A NORMAL THING

I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD AND STUFF LIKE THIS DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD AND STUFF LIKE THIS DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

Draining pools of blackened filth
Tiny pockets amass
An ocean of sludge to horizons end
Stone heart is cast away
Descends to the bottom

New blood bursts forth
Seeps into empty spaces
Mortar for the soul
In this wounded way
Ascend to begin again

A life that is giving, is giving...
all the right people and their advise,
if you should heed it.

A life that is giving, is giving...
time enough for the restart button,
when you need it.

A life that is giving, is giving...
the chance to love after the loss,
so you can seek it.

A life that is giving, is giving...
opportunity to find the one;
so when you find the love you're looking for,
you can keep it...

Life long.

Just as things are coming together, it falls all apart
It starts in the mind, but ends with the  heart
At the end of the rainbow, what is found wasn't sought
When the beginning becomes the end, simply restart

©Pauline Russell

it will be different this time
it will flow and make sense
I will be present
mind and body as one
and the clock restarts now
the cold war is over

@journeyofdays