Cold air remains where warm air once stayed.
I prefer your true, cold heart than your lying warm passions.
Within myself, I curl closer; within my heart, I plead silently.
He can provide more for me where you never did.
Wither to dust in this truth, for you are nothing.
See that you were never a good man.
So stop with your lies, your petty games.
I don't cry for you. I cry for myself.
Only this man catches me when I fall
And dries away my salty tears.
You are expendable and he just took your place.
Bloodshed never seemed so sweet.
The cold spot is now warm again.
Now I can breathe once more; in his arms I shall remain.
He shall keep me safe. He shall obliterate your toxic waste.
I shall grow once more. I shall be once again the queen.

You smiled at her and kissed her
like she was saving you
when we both know
you never needed saving
You held her hand tighter
than you held onto your pride
and we both know
what that means to you
When she walked into the room
it's as if everyone else was invisible
and we both know how you loved
the spotlight
She made you happy
She made you complete
Why couldn't I have been that for you?

You're his now
Just like how they say "Exactly, it was your seat"

I thought that was my spot, I guess I was just keeping it warm for him

You wonder how she'd love you.

In the ways I never could,
In ways too clumsy and honest, just like you,
Parts of myself I let die early on
In favor of thicker skin

That silhouette in your eye betrays you
But I've learned not to ask
What you're thinking about
Those glances just beyond me
Because were you to pry
Into all these boarded tunnels,
You'd find her buried in me a thousand times
Murdered by my suffering

I wonder if you know, you've never been forgiven
But
Love is a magic trick
Trivial to those who understand how it works
But many of us
Are enraptured by the performance

I wonder how she'd love you
If you'd make her feel less lonely
Because she'd pry the nails off
Let you into the attic of her past lives
Your fingers could pull handfuls of her pain
Out of future gardens

Places in my soul
I'd never let you touch
Where I buried my bodies
Where I planted beautiful things
And cultivated this
Still
       rising
Not quite
a phoenix
Or a shooting star
The thing that admits it is ugly
Because ugly is appreciated for what it is
In a way that beauty never could be

It's like you're left with extreme paralyzing psychosis, or deja vu, or an epiphany that you greet with swinging fists and bouts of palpitating aggression that doesn't have any sense of direction.
It's like when you try unlocking the door to your house, but the locks have been replaced with new ones and there are people inside that you don't recognize but they're strewn across your expensive living room set that you bought when you were manic.
Then you realize that your home has replaced you. This always happens.
Maybe this is the plot twist to your life. You're the one that's haunted and your house is afraid of opening the door when you arrive.
See, perhaps it's tired of being inhabited but not being properly lived in.
You don't remember seeing an eviction notice but it feels exactly the same like the time he abandoned you during a thunderstorm.
Except it wasn't raining but your mind was already creating apparitions of puddles and floods.
You can't say goodbye to things, you can't let go. You claw and you scream but nothing ever comes back.
It's like missing the last train home. Like, forgetting about your birthday. It's like deleting a number knowing full well that you have it memorized but it's the thought that counts. right?

you taught me
that the saying
our grandparents
used
if it isn't broken
don't fix it
is obsolete
you taught me
your own version
*if it's broken
buy a new one

She comes over for the night,
She seems to be alright.
I'm not sure if I like her yet,
But that doesn't seem to matter,
She's just that close to my sister.

She started to stay over on school nights,
Something just wasn't right.
Soon enough she never left,
I began to feel like I was being replaced.

I'm not trying to sound selfish,
And no I'm not jealous.
But I am confused,
Why are you telling me this unfortunate news?

She hasn't left for weeks.
I'm sick of being the subject of greed.
I want my family back.
Just tell me that she'll eventually leave.

I'm now starting to feel neglected.
I've been replaced in every way I had imagined.
But you don't seem to see it that way.
I don't think the girl is leaving any time soon.