I suppose there will always be a part of me that will wait for you in doorways
Stepping over the threshold
Hesitating
Contemplating
Looking back
Then moving forward
Each time the pause becoming less
Underneath the stairwells of bookstores

I will search for your face in the crowds
And for your footsteps along the shorelines
I will feel your presence in places we used to visit
Perhaps this may never stop

For you were woven into my life as a piece of the fabric
A part of who I was
A force in who I was going to be
You were a friend that I expected for always
Someone to grow alongside myself

But then you turned your head and shut your eyes
Seduced by the promise of a remedy for your lovelessness
A body to temper the loneliness
Leaving me to search for your face through caverns of fog
And wondering why I am so often a second thought for you

I used to be angry
But that potency is fading with time
And someday you will be a memory

Yet in this subsiding bitterness I shall keep your secrets safe
The secrets that drip from your lips and waver in your eyes
You are different than me though, love
And I shall find peace in the comfort that mine were never yours to know

I love her
I desire her
More than anything
I can imagine
But I am unsure

I dreamt of her
I weep for her
I struggle with myself
But I never conquered
‘cos I am unsure

And at night
I hug my pillow
In my sleep
I held her tight
But I couldn’t keep her
For I was unsure

She kept coming
She kept smiling
But never opened her hands
To give me a warm embrace
Which is all I desire
And the more I am unsure

I never told her
I love you
I’ve never held her
In my hands
But I love her
Though I am unsure

The wound remained unhealed
The vacuum remained unfilled
The tears flow unstopped
And I’m losing her
Who is the remedy
‘Cos I’m unsure

And I’m losing her
Fast than I expected
Though she still smiles
The fear increased unmeasured
She loves me
I don’t know
For I am unsure.