Gasp!
An honest expression of disbelief
As you were about to pump
conditioner
Onto your lavender loofah mittens
Never recognizing
your common way of doing things

The river of time keeps on flowing
I'm standing here in the knowing
All things will pass and fall away
As we flow from day to day

But the memories seem to remain
Be it happy ones, or the ones that torture our brain

Be it the rivers smooth ride
Or around the bend where rapids hide
To stay in the boat is the greatest challenge
For sometimes things become so unbalanced

Sometimes we are thrown overbord
Most of the time not of our own accord
As we try to keep our heads above the waves motion
Trying not to drown in all the heavy emotion

Sometimes all we can do is hold on to the boat and get dragged along
Other times we're firmly planted dry and warm in the boat singing our hearts song

But whatever waters we transverse
We all know time will do it's worse
It's not the trails we will be judged by
Or even how much we cry
We'll be judged by how we responded to the storm
What eventually becomes the norm

How time changes us inside
If we get angry, spiteful and mean, or if a heart is opened and we try
To help our fellow man
To lean on each other so we both can stand

So try to enjoy the river of times flow
Sitting there watching through the glass the sand steadily go

I wonder how you'll react when you find out what I've done
you won't be able to hit me or scold me because, I'll be gone.
But will you cry? Will you feel ashamed? Will you wonder why?
I don't think that you should, because now I'll no longer cry.

So don't ask why,
don't you dare cry...
Please, don't be too upset
I'm getting away from here
and with no regrets.

Yellow and crimson is the fruit
Beckoning to be a moment's pleasure
Eating fruit, a sure pleasure,
Instant is the gratification
Memory is witness
To the happiness it brought

Left in agonizing want
One looks for more
Discouraged, defeated,
Agonized to know it passed

Lo and behold, all has changed
For action of eating
Had its own reaction
Unknown of what will be

Opening eyes to witness
the reaction that kept going
like a brand of battery
Energizer with long life

Blink not for it's alive
Asking  mind to follow
Follow like never before
And sleep no more

Yellow and crimson is the fruit
Beckoning to be a moment's pleasure
Eating fruit, a sure pleasure,
Instant is the gratification
Memory is witness
To the happiness it brought
©TRP

With mixed feelings and emotions
Once I couldn't understand them
Much less know what they meant
It felt like something was wrong within me
But today I've come to know
A little more about what they mean

They are my reactions of external influences
A natural reaction
A human reaction
Something not to be afraid off
But to help me realize that I'm normal
And only human

I won't think about the way we move at night
just recognize and understand its only to disguise
simple things we can't seem to grasp
like to how to love
how to not fight
how to forget the past

We can touch, we can play
We don't have to leave the house all day
Somethings will never change
Repeating myself, as my heart still breaks.

I told you this was never what I wanted
and you told me love's not for the weak hearted

We just abuse this idea labeled "love"
and empty concept taken over by a rush of emotion
our chemical reactions toxic
I had a mind but i just lost it

you don't see life as a game of skill
playing hopscotch on the
white and black checkers
reaching out to infinity with their
comforting symmetry
and severe geometry

you say you're unobservant
but how can you look down
at your calloused mud-caked feet
and not see the
chessboard that is pressing
just as stiffly against your feet
as you reach down
and root yourself into it
burying your head in
the world of fantasy games
without winner or loser

i envy your blissful ignorance
your hope
however misplaced

do you simply refuse to see
how every pensive move
rook to E7
knight to C5
seems to me not an attack
on the mockingly vulnerable king
but an action of
vicious hostility towards
the most powerful piece on the board

so the queen enacts
her equal and opposite
reaction
to slash the entire cosmos to ribbons
an infinite fury of blind terror
that seeks blood
and scavenges the last flesh
clinging to bone.

How do you react
When there's cops at your door
Because your mother has called them
And it's the *last thing you think she'll do

How do you react
When the house is full of screaming
And your baby brother crying
He doesn't understand
He doesn't even know how to talk yet

How do you react
When anything you do isn't enough
Yet you try with all your power
With all your heart and will
It just seems lost for nothing

How do you react
When you feel a whip burn in your leg
Or your head smashed into the wall
When you're bleeding and broken
And alone
When you did nothing wrong

How do you react
As a child around drunks at a party
Who should be in bed
Was almost laid in bed
By a man who smelt of liquor

How do you react
When everyone is laughing
Not with you but at you
At the way you look
At the way you talk

How do you react
When your arms and legs are full of scars
And you've bled out everything but these things
And when people ask
You're too ashamed to admit it

How do you react
When all the pain you have went numb
When the pills take it's toll
And you've gone numb

How do you react
When the one closest to you dies
And you didn't say goodbye
And the world feels lost without them

How do you react
When salt water leaks from your eyes
You don't know why
And you can't say why
Because all you do is choke on your own words
Every night

It's numbing

And that's all it is
Because all of it has chipped away
Everything is numb
My reaction went numb
I've felt
Anger
And sadness
And loss
And helplessness

I've felt

Nothing

*But it's okay, you see
There are people that care
There are people to love
People that love you
Sometimes it's not their time in your life
Those people come and go
I've felt *happiness
Even though I'm scared
Even though I don't know how to react
Even though I'm insecure
Even though I know I don't know everything
It's all a process

I am stronger
I am capable of being loved and giving love
I am open to life
I am open to it's struggles
I will be brave
I will be selfless
I will be kind

I am me

So let me ask you this,

*How do you react?