I’m hugging you like I’m reaching out of this ocean I’m drowning in. I’m gasping for air with each tug of your body. Closer. I need you closer. Engulfed in you. I need to breathe you to survive. To **** it all in and then in the end let it all out.

I am bleeding profusely,
just below the surface.

These memories like razors,
are scars hidden in the sleeves of my hoodie,
that I crave to show you,
but can never reveal.

War-zones within,
have taken a toll on my
soul. ( sorrow is real )

This sentimental shrapnel,
I feel below the surface of my skin,
protruding like emotional tin,
purchases my silence,
formulated like science.

When others grow full,
my belly still aches
for honey,
hunger pangs are funny,
like the kicks of a bull.

How long,
will You turn your eyes
away from me?
The Prophet said,
"I've never seen the sons of the righteous go hungry"
but I starve week to week.
Rescue me,
before I draw too far away,
lost in the dark and bleak.

Bleeding out profusely,
waiting to be fed.
(C)  DM  2017

I knew the pain
  She would feel today
When I whispered to her
  There can be change
The fight to step high
  Might be a reach
Now my babe
   See her relaxed asleep

the light of the Creator is tattooed into my soul; as it looks at its reflection, through the window I call my eye.

I am reaching out for you. I reach to the deep corners of my heart where the darkness begins by its shadows cover; where there was a small hole from the first woman I loved.

I'm reaching to pull the arrow that grown baby in the diaper shot me in the *** with,

I'm reaching for where he's missed and shot and left scars is big as that gaping hole in my heart that Never seemed to heal correctly.

I'm reaching. I'm reaching for the day I saw you in that wheelchair my first day of marching band and someone said we'd be a cute couple of shorties.

I'm reaching for the day I switched seats and you were directly across my black eyes and I could feel my pupils dilate at least 45 percent.

Oh god this is amazing.

I'm reaching into the corners of my mind where I keep my biggest secrets and I'm reaching for you.

the longing behind fingertips
reaching for hands
snatched away so quickly.
i forget their feeling so quickly
i forget your flinches so quickly.
and so it repeats.
can you feel the longing left
somewhere in the empty air?

Second year started
And so did her second round of battles.

Her struggles with the voice in her mind amplified
Walking around campus terrified
Alone.

This creeping sense she wasn't okay
Slipped more into her mind each and every day
But I'm supposed to be better, what can I say?
Silence engulfed her.

Reaching out seemed like reaching across a chasm.

That voice is relentless, it never stops.
Anxiety and depression come out on top.
Controlled by her disordered mind.

On the outside, "I'm fine"
Her weight hasn't plummeted so she's fine.
She's fine.

Walking on a fine line.
Between two walls closing in.
Remnants of an eating disorder on one side and anxiety on the other
Threatening to crush her.

Yet no matter how far the chasm may seem,
it's another illusion my brain just perceives
Help is all around.
There is no shame.
Asking for help won't taint your name.

Reach.
No matter how far your arm has to stretch you will find something to grasp.
Helping hands to push the walls apart.
Helping hands so your life doesn't seem so dark.
Helping words to counter that voice.

A second year started wrong,
yet it's never too late to turn things around.
To diminish that voice until it's just a faint sound.

A second chance to grow.