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jissel Feb 2019
There are things one can let others know by saying them, others things need to be shown by specific actions. At times actions show more than what one can ever be declared, vise versa. But do things naturally fall into two categories? No, and of course there is a piece in between where they cross between and is that a good thing? Again, there is no way for one to answer the question without lacking in the circumstances. And the conditions are where it reveals how little I know about everything. I'm finding out about the anything and everything to help this, this abstract blur that I keep searching for. If there are gaps, we always choose to build a bridge where there might not be intended to be one. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't run so blindly to things that devise anyone. Stop and think. Think about the simplest of happenings and think about the rarities. What are the odds then? 4.543 billion years. 7.53 billion people. Seven continents and an incredible number of casualties. Still, here it is — what a time to be alive. No one is given a choice but what's there to it? There are countless things I've left boiling in me, and an even more significant amount that I've left unsaid. But the saccharine feeling of merely being surrounded by knowing people like this exist is incomparable. I like being while another person I care about is also being. It makes me feel less like such a human being and more of an extraordinary thing. If you jump, please do so knowing wherever you may land could potentially lead. remember that when you jump, it may lead to severe states, or to places and feelings you'll enjoy forever. "All we wanna know is where the stars came from But do we ever stop—ever stop to watch them shine? Or are we staring with—staring with ungrateful eyes?"
Eric Feb 2019
Imprinted on my mind
To think of you a thousand times
Before the minute was over

Hollow as the sounds echo
Nothing to hang onto , I must let go
New hour has begun

But silence fell over the voiceless voice
That feeling of thinking I had a choice.
The dark day has arrived .

Million words , a million ways, to say
I love you, and not a letter missing out of eight.
It's been a week

Eternity line snapped, hopeless string.
And I believed in every Viber of my being.
How many months has it been.

Rewind and please stop , I'm dieing
In your world , I'm not even trying
But my minutes are years .

However long this eternity takes it to be
I'll always wish someday you'll know me
Even after 6 years of "nothing"...
How do you heal a bruise on your mind?
I have yet to find out to erase memories.
How can one person sit on someones mind till that person is crushed? . Every minute of every day . I think of every moment I let slip away . Don't let go of love . Even know love let go of you.
CautiousRain Jan 2019
All our kisses seem so cold
in shadows of past times spent,
even though they were actually
warm and ever present;
It hurts so bad to know I lost
A man I loved that never existed.
Always
CautiousRain Jan 2019
Dejected, I've detected
that the things people say
can't make sense anymore;
God, it's hopeless, I'm lost,
and maybe someone out there
can tell me where it went wrong.

I want to believe him,
yes, I do,
but who's the fool here
to think it's true?

Please forgive me,
those of you who come close,
for not taking chances
in letting myself loose;
I'm just frightened
by what I've left behind
and I'm just frightened
of what lies I might buy.
Oh, did you mean I now have ~trust issues~?
I hate this
f Jan 2019
the door in my old room. the one with light blue sky and clouds painted over every inch of the walls. the two window sills in my room, with the dirt from when i’d go in and out of them. my ceiling from which i hung wind chimes. my bunk bed that had alllllll my stuffed animals on the top bunk. with a book called the anybodies (my favorite as a kid) to read on the top bunk with the fan on. anyway,
the door in my old room. i wasn’t allowed to close it, so i almost never did. but when i did, it was so I could write and draw on the white backside. my teenage poetry. pure, ****** poetry.
well i wonder if it’s all still there.
nostalgia is a slow, everlasting-like ******. a guaranteed good feeling. because i feel just enough sorrow that it’s the really good feeling pain because also, i’m happy as if i’m happy crying. if that makes sense
“i know it well” blood bank
momma, i miss you. i feel you. i only wish to ever be enough, and to be a good person.
even the best of us aren’t perfect hm?
my old door was cool. i miss some of those times. i feel like thinking about the lyric “hearts are broken every day.” has been messing with me lately. heartbreak (don’t judge me aight) reminds me that i am human. heartbreak makes me feel mortal in a way few things can. so what is the point of my life when i already know such heartbreak, it’s impacted me a lot, but it is simultaneously an every single day, multiple times per second occurrence. very common. very common **** my ****. that **** hurts in a good way you feel me?
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Alex McQuate Jan 2019
As I sit here in a late night stupor,
Throat burning from cigarette smoke and hot ash,
I bear witness as Shaw cries out to DeYoung,
Trying so hard to give him a lift and a light,
To shore up the talented man's morale and instill a will to fight.

As he starts in on this,
I take a sip of coffee,
Burning lips and tongue upon the bitter brew,
With a muttered curse and a wince,
Eyes begin to relax just a bit,
As accolades are rained upon DeYoung.

But like that first distant rumble of faraway thunder,
That is the harpinger of a massive storm to come,
Tones beginning to change,
As if the more he speaks the more his patience wears until-

SNAP!

- an accusation is thrown out like a slap to the face,
That there's more that he can do,
If only he stopped getting in his own way.

Tap-tap upon the ashtray as ash falls into a heap of itself,
Lids growong heavier still,
The song like an anthem of conciousness,
And knowing that it would soon run out of steam.

Sweet sleep avoided,
Each nights dreams becoming vivid to a disturbing degree,
Like some kinda ****** up inversion as to how I want it to be,
Like how it use to be,
Before the hooks of this monotony sunk so deep as to embed into the bone.

The mountain seems so high as it towers overhead,
And makes me want to knock the **** out of me from so many months ago,
But erecting myself straight as tighten once again,
Clear and sharp once more.
Fooling Yourself- Styx w/ CYO orchestra
Randi Dec 2018
I hope she treats you well
because I haven't been good myself

talking on the phone
i think it's early morn
wishing i was fast asleep
but i guess there's nothing i want more

body full of aches
but your voice shakes the pain away

i think that it's been good
i guess
you and her
for you 's the best

i guess i can't quite accept
that my time well spent
was nothing
and

i like you
hell, i love you
but it's not me,
i see

i guess this is reality
Ákos Domonyi Nov 2018
The screech of a makeshift roof
A faint echo of my heart as proof.
Serves to dignify my life,
The fruit I've grown should have been ripe.

Inching closer to madness,
Within the pit I've now fallen, so careless.
A gray postule pulsates on my nerves, oozing pus.
The infinite subconscious maw is consuming us.
Late night rambling
Trevor Dowe Nov 2018
I don't want someone to settle for me. I want the beautiful, talented, and amazing women I know to be happy. And I'm afraid that I am not good enough to bring them that joy and that I will hold them back if we were anything than friends. Yet, I, like most people, crave love and affection -- the simple romantic in me falls in love so easily. The classmate who were supportive of my fiction and always left smiley faces on their critiques, the one who went out of her way to drive me home when I was struggling with money and who always encouraged me and told me how amazing my wiring was. Or the one who trusted me with her vulnerabilities without expecting me it asking for my help, just telling me that it existed so that I could better understand her. Or... Or... Or...

But, too afraid to cause pains that had been caused to me and too afraid to get hurt again, I shut myself off from all but the minimum or safest of social requirements. I secluded myself and retreated into isolation -- which inevitably lead to more insecurity and more despair.

As I've grown older and understood myself more, I've learned that I'm polyamorus, that I can be in love with multiple people for different, but equal, reasons. This further isolates me because our society is only just starting to accept polyamory and it's easier (but worse) for me to just stay secluded and cut off from love.

If I don't try then I can't be hurt, right?
If I don't put myself out there then I can't be rejected, right?
Redacted Nov 2018
you've shown me there can be light in more than just the sun

there can be light in your cup of tea in the morning (and the next cup, and the next cup, and the next)
there can be light in my lover's eyes, when i realize i am looking into the exact sea-foam greenish blue i hadn't seen since i was visiting my great grandmother as a child
there can be light in the small smile a stranger gives me when i'm passing them on the street- we will likely never meet again, but they take one second of their time to share happiness with me
there can be light in the meowing of a baby kitten as it begs to be let into my room, and the soft purring that follows when it bounds onto my bed and cuddles into my chest

there can be light in so many things (and these are only a few)
my world had just been dark for so long
i think i had forgotten
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