you say it like it's my fault
like i shook you
goddess of earthquakes
and my fault lines
etched into my face don't
give you the answer you're looking for?

you look upon me like an alien
like some creature who crawled forth
from a darkened alleyway to
burn in front of you
and pull you
a moth to the flame
Icarus flying too close to the sun
you melt
when you're in my arms
and i in yours i can see
the beeswax of your eyes
slowly turning to a viscous liquid
a rain-shower of that infernal desire
emotions that ***** like needles
piercing veins to slam home
a neon poison
higher than ******
to know my power
and hold that pulsing dripping
heart of yours
within my secret place
my holy of holies and
all i want is to tear the veil
and expose the bare truth
no more hiding in the shadows
a divine face you cannot look upon
i imagine god gets lonely

what is the meaning of a beauty
that cannot be seen?
that will consume every part of you
with a single glance
burn your eyes to charcoal
the only smoking remnants of
those bottomless brown cups of coffee
that swirl in your irises

i consume the world around me
more more more more more more
if left alone i would eat your heart
a feral animal
the pure incarnation of natural rage
thunderstorms in my eyes
and lightning bolt curls
blood-stained lips still dripping
with your 98.6 degrees
that same fluid which rushes
to your cheeks when
i shock you yet again
though you shouldn't really be surprised
anymore

if you know what's good for you

don't look at me

Rambling craziness of a gambling madman
Always one slice from the suicide pie.

Taste it will you choke on the goodness,
swallow your pride gamble on that most
Of expensive of bets that's life.

First step is a long one the second never
Walked, jumped in front of the band
Wagon, always look before you walk.

Sometimes
words come out of me and
I've been looking for somewhere to put them.

This is my
first try
and across the street there's a man
hanging out through his window
and I'm not sure what I'm doing
but I know that
(I don't want to be your
first try,
just your last success.)
when the sun comes up
I'll have a new chance.

i need you out of my head
you are taking over my thoughts
and all i can think is you

now you are taking over my dreams
something so precious
a place i didn't want you to be

i have become consumed by you
and i don't want to be

so please leave me and my head
go so that i can think once again
so that i can breathe
so i can feel like myself

Give them what they want
Or make them want what you have to give
A pretty face makes you stupid
She knows it, that's why she acts that way
It doesn't matter why they feel the way they do
You fell for it, you deny it, but we know better
Nothing older than you can be questioned
You just have to decide what it is you wish to believe
It's better to take pictures of flowers in the spring
Than endure someone who can't understand your mind
It's not about getting there from here
It's about making there what here is all about
A transformed mind has forgotten his childhood
And must say no to his mother and mean it
If you ever decide you can be faithful
Then you are the luckiest man in the world

As he laid in death, he had a single thought. At this very moment that he was bleeding out, another out in the world must have the same exact feeling. Fear. But when the fear passed, the pain was gone. He felt relief, he came to realize he wasn't alone in dying. He wasn't ever alone in anything. The last breath left him and he passed away, but to his surprise all the weight lifted from his body, and he began to float. He looked to his left and to his right and caught glimpse of another close by. Then another appeared, and another. All of these beings he had never met in life, humans, and animals both spoke to him. Told him their stories and wonders of love and life, how beautiful it was. Their lives had ended, but they remembered they had planned this all along. Before they had names and stories. This anxiously awaited thought to be cold embrace, turned out to be as warm as an ember you could grasp in your hand.
The next moment he awoke in bed from this beautiful dream, but was it really?

They. Whomever They are have a weapon aimed at the back of my neck, its warm, unsettling even. Reminds me of when I, along with many others, witnessed the ****** of Dean Warwick when he was giving a presentation at a conspiracy conference back in 2006 (link will be included at the End of this Chapter).

Yes. The Narrator is here dear reader, just for you. My mother isn't here though. Or maybe she is. Could be she is everywhere and nowhere. Are we even here ? We believe we are here - but in the middle of belief is a LIE (a John Trudell observation). This. THIS. May be a ******* dream, OR should that read NIGHTMARE.

I spoke about my mother in the introduction. I still have issues. Guess you can tell huh !

I Am the Narrator. I narrate. NARRATE. YOU read and make of these words what you will. But choose very carefully what drawer you place these words in.

I hear music. Can you hear it dear reader ? A fusion of  jazz and metal. Nice. What ! You can't ! Are you ******* deaf ? Have you not attuned into our comfy little twilight zone with fluffy pink sheep ? Can you not see the pervy creepy priest nailed to his crucifix made from shrapnel ? And no ! I am not Jesus ******* Christ. Their never was a Jesus ******* Christ. And the same goes for GOD ! Its a mind **** - religion. It is a toxic disease with a twist and a tease. Heaven and hell, trick or treat. NEAT.

I Am. CONSCIOUSNESS.
I AM.
Consciousness.
To deny that I AM CONSCIOUSNESS I have to be HERE. THERE. EVERYWHERE. NOWHERE.

What a rambling rumble of trash, I the Narrator spews forth; and yet, yes and YET - if you are OPEN to what is being written you will remain none the wiser. Maybe these written words should carry a public health warning.

I, the Narrator do not bind myself up in what is labeled POLITICAL CORRECTNESS. NO ! Why should I ? I am the Narrator, and you - YES YOU - are the reader, my reader. Until you bail out. Bankers always get BAILED out because we - WE are too ******* timid to say NO !

The suits
preen themselves
climaxing in front of mirrors
on a daily basis
the suits
falsely crown themselves
and think they are so ******* cute

BUT. We let them. The politicians. The bankers. The priests. The MAFIA of our SOULS(credit to Osho for that one).

And so. Its TIME. No it isn't. Its a ******* DREAM, but sadly more of a NIGHTMARE. But WE can CHANGE this. THIS. Yes we can. Don't believe we can - DO WE CAN. No more whining, unlike The Shining with here's Johnny.

Once upon a time
a circle gave birth
to a line
and we all
rubbed it out.

Well folks I, the Narrator has decided to bring an end. END. To CHAPTER 1.

Thank you most sincerely for reading these words. Many more will follow, and there will be casualties. However, as this is a DREAM *** NIGHTMARE, its all MAKE beLIEve. Who ******* cares ?

I, the Narrator, is smoking a **** good cigar. Until CHAPTER 2, do sleep well.


Lenny Gazbowski(c)2015

I'm sorry.
You can't fall in love temporarily.
Even if it's just a fleeting moment
     across the street or between supermarket aisles.
Moments are forever, now.
What I say now will be true, always.
This feeling now will be true, always.
I'm sorry.

cracked porcelain cups, spilt forgotten tea,
     stale uneaten biscuits and the freckles of crumbs
on a matching hand-painted plate.

"I'm not trying to scare you because I'm scared too"
Squeezing my hands so tightly while dragging me through the cement.
You chant, "Come on now. You can do it."
By this time my road rash has met my brittle bones.
You chant, "Just stop thinking about it" as these tears turn to acid.
I can feel the gravel peeling my skin away.
& you chant, "just get past it" and the ache turns numb. I feel nothing.
"I'm not trying to scare you because I'm scared too."