Do
  raindrops
    envy tears Because
  they glide gently down
 cheeks, And aren't falling
onto concrete? Do raindrops
envy tears As they come from
   pure emotion And aren't
        equivalent to vapor?

                                                      ­                                                         Do tears
                                                                ­                             envy raindrops
                                                       ­                             Which have no say
                                                                ­              in their falling And don't  
                                                         ­                    have to feel ashamed? Do    
                                                                ­          tears envy raindrops Because
                                                                ­             they need not feel pain, Or  
                                                                ­                   fear or heartbreak?

Raindrops now sprinkle an earlier day’s
suicide, so too, lightning strikes my beer can.

And come the moment where I’d wished the
moon there, I’d yet to find the means to seize
it. It’s an unwelcome catharsis as our cratered
dream, along with the car, the keys, the
carnal, and caprice, are possessed, tucked a
deep blue jean pocket, and just above your
rear, perfection had I ever traced it; now
untouchable, rendered my choice.

Raindrops now sprinkle an earlier day’s
suicide, so too, lightning strikes my beer can.

You are the nicotine
That lingered only
On my lips

Killing me with shivers
That light up
My soul, in return

But tell me, dear
Do you always leave
All too quickly?

Run run run, from the falling rain
seeking shelter from the struggle
seeking shelter from the strain.
Hop hop hop, across the empty streets,
running from the water's bellow,
running from the water's feats.
Gasp, gasp, gasp, as you see a yellow light
                  you let out a final sigh,
as your heart looses it's last fight.
Pain, pain, pain, your bones seem to cry
the tire tracks on your body,
the tire tracks where you lie,


Alas the rain drops have come to say goodbye
You are important to them.
They're here to watch you die.

With bitterness.
I bring myself near your face.
In myself I break
All of  desire for happiness.
Just
Be here.
I keep you in the blue spaces of my thoughts,
Where the raindrops can not reach,
Where sunflowers
Wither in solitude,
Where words break the silence
In countless shards of your touch
And the walls are touching the glass clouds
Where I carve your every breath.
I can not plunge myself in your eyes,
I'm drowning in their depths
Of the colors of oak bark and fruit of the first chestnuts.
Don't ask anything,
Just pour my fingerprints on you
In eternity,
In the sound of lips separation,
In the softness of skin pressed against the cheek.
Feel my suffering
Whispering in your ear.

Two burns, left wrist
Two more burns, left hand
Two fading slits, left ankle
Easier to deal with, to understand
These six scars...
They are the only ones that I have
Well, the only ones in your eyes
The only ones that were deliberate
Deliberate necessities
There is one on the right side
Of my nose too
But it was accidental
Nothing more than a childish
Slip of the foot
"Sorry, it was just a slip of the tongue"
I need you
I need more
Two more, in precision
(a double incision)
One on the right
And one on the left
"No cesarean for me, thanks"
No life coming out of this body
No matter how beautiful
I could have made you
I would have kept you safe
I promise
I won't let them hurt you
They'll understand
They have to
They have to
They have to
But that's what I thought before
And yet they still don't
Not today, not quite yet
But they have to
And I've been thinking
And drinking
And smoking
And toking
And I do not know
How far I will go
So cut me open
Take what I don't want
Because I do not want this
Remove my heart
You may as well
While you're in there
It's been aching so badly lately
And this is all that I want right now
They will let me do it
They have to
They have to
They have to
They will...
Won't they?
You can not see teardrops
Amongst raindrops
Can not distinguish between
The peaceful and the pained
And I fall, I fall hard
I crash and you feel me, you do
But rain is a friend
Rain is something that I can trust
Something that I can relate to, rely on
Too quiet to be seen as thunder
Too dull to be seen as lightning
Too transparent to be seen at all
From a distance...
You get used to rain after a while
We are known for our weather
(Rain rain go away)
Let the sun shine
So that I can become a rainbow
Cut me open and pull out my heart
Offer it to that planet's glorious rays
Look up at me
Not down on me
And tell me that I am beautiful
Tell me that I mean something
To you
That I mean anything
Because I am not mean
I mean
I love you
I love you
I love you
I try far too hard
You think that I don't try at all
But it's ******* hard
It's SO ******* hard
And I am trying my best
And I am transgender
I am the she / he / whatever
The it
I do not deserve you
But do I really deserve this?
I know that these are not raindrops
I can taste the salt, slowly rolling
And rolling down
And down my face
My tear-stained face
Please tell me that I am worthy
Please let me do this
Please, please, let me do this...
You have to
YOU HAVE TO
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
Save me
Fish me out of the ditch
Ditch me halfway through
My transition
LET ME TRANSITION
You have to
You have to
You have to
It hurts
It hurts so bad, oh God
And I'm not getting anything in return
So let me pain myself
Until I can breathe again
With a smile on my face
A smile that will not run in the rain
I am running through the rain
Running away from myself
I am falling, as rain falls on me
And I am crying
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
So let me do this
You have to.. You have.. You..
You will...
Won't you..?
Because I'm not alright
And I'm not okay
I am transparent, I am transitioning
I am transgender
Whether you like it
Or not.