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Emma Hill Jan 2017
Telltale signs of paranoia ***** at the hackles that run from head
(to heart)
down the spine
        drown the mind
Psychotic neurotic autistic artistic
Imagination whirls like wind through the pines and
The hair along my spine
        Is standing
Sarah Steck Nov 2016
It's bothering me
That ticking on the wall
Can't you hear it
The more you focus
The louder it gets
Please, make it stop
So many other things
To be thinking about
That are all in the background
Because of this clock
The gears moving
Making me tick
I can't move, can't breathe
Can't do anything
Because that ticking on the wall
Will not stop
It only gets louder
The more you focus on it
Can't you hear it too?
storm siren Sep 2016
Here it goes again,
Here it comes again,
The articles about
Psychopaths
And the accusatory tone
Twisting behaviors
Twisting actions
To sound toxic
To sound dangerous
To stamp a big red label on my skin,
Screaming
"AVOID THIS ONE AT ALL COSTS"

While I sit and weep.

But these articles
Blog posts
People fleeing from me
Left and right
Are lies, right?

Tell me, please,
Tell me,
Someone?

My anxiety and need to be reassured
Roots from my PTSD,
And my neediness and wants for attention
Is normal for my upbringing,
Right?

And writing poem after poem
About how much I care for you,
And making playlists
With songs in it
That make me think of you,
Is just a sign that I care,
Right?

I don't want to be
A psychopath.
I don't  want to be
A toxic person,
I don't understand
How telling someone you love them,
Is bad?

But these articles say that showering someone
In constant attention and praise
Means you're a psychopath.

And these blog posts
Are telling me that poems and gifts and music,
All means you're selfish and unfeeling.

But I don't want to be,
I care so much, I love you so much.

I'm afraid
Of who I am.
Francis Sep 2016
It all starts with a kiss on the forehead from the devil.
A curse so deadly that The Grim Reaper would fear for his life.
Togetherness is a lost cause for sanity and my mind.
One of them, if not both, has been absent.

I've killed many and many before.
Homicidal cravings have polluted my veins.
Empathy has fled the scene of this heinous crime inside my head,
As the voices so gracefully moved in.

Frequent scenarios are projected in my dreams,
Like some spooky yet ****** film.
Two vampiric women kiss so maliciously,
As their lips are painted with blood.
This vision makes ****** *******.

The blood flow has not yet been drained from my vision,
As it stains the cotton of my memory.
Remorseful thoughts convert to an addiction.
I need to accommodate another fix, before my inevitable conviction.

I've once felt the feelings of the peaceful,
But reality has stolen my conscience.
A lovely soul transformed to atrocity .
This lantern gained a shortage of oil,
causing me to become lost in a field of misery and pain.

Minacious laughs frolic in my ears,
Though these giggles I'm quite familiar with.
I heard them often, so joyful and so free.
But now they've turned to evil.

An inability to move my hands when desired,
Caused by attire not aimed for warmth.
I'm a prisoner blocked by a wall of darkness,
So deliberately detaining my sanity.

I have loved a time, so long ago,
Where happiness was my most valued acquaintance.
Yet something inside of me awoken so suddenly,
Shamelessly demolishing any remote heart I once possessed.

Possession is such a polite word to use,
describing demonic forces taking ownership of your soul.
But I consider it a blessing in disguise,
Due to the unescapable fact that who I was could not be an acception,
To those who hold superiority over me.

A monster I was?
Or A monster I have became.
It would never be determined by the others.
All they fathom is that a monster is contained,
And lives will no longer be stolen by the guilty hands of this monster.

But what gives human life it's worth?
I will forever ponder that thought.
For I am the star of this so called Hell,
And where I'll be when my time has come,
No sane human would dwell.
I've always wanted to write something through the perspective of a maniac without glamorizing the act of taking a human life. This person is of course fictional, but I'm sure you could probably look up real killers who've spoken this way before their deaths.
Francis Sep 2016
The buzzing of a street lamp,
Echoing through my silent block.
Sounds of crickets are heard,
But the silence is deafening.

Darkness surrounding 8th Street.
An uneasy feeling of being watched,
Creeping up against my neck,
As if it's licking me so tenderly.

The neighborhood of which my home resides,
So mysteriously nerve wrecking.
Petrified to take the garbage to the curb,
I look over both shoulders to make sure.

A creepy sound of laughter,
Floods the sound of nature.
Flabbergasted by my discovery,
That I am being stalked by an unknown being.

Whispers being whispered,
My heart begins to scream.
I loathe this feeling of dreadful fear.
I can't move.
I am paralyzed.

Whatever this thing is,
Human or supernatural.
I am almost positive this is arousing,
To the terrifying being that it is.

A predator hunting it's prey,
I now become the target.
Help me.
Oh god.
Help me.

Uncomfortable shivers contaminate my bloodstream.
Freezing in July,
It's 75 degrees.

Surrounded by the supernatural.
Unwanted manifestations of spirit,
Making me their little toy.
What in god's name is the end game?

Death,
Leaving my face frozen in terror.
Inspired by the creepiness my street is at night, even when I take the garbage out. I always feel like I'm being watched or hunted by some ****** or even worse.... Enjoy!
Raphael Cheong Aug 2016
the day is new
so let’s not break it
I tell myself to triumph
every single time I trip
and there is no one there to hold me
but it’s a fall from grace with a view
with time and space for thought
and so I spend it on you

the day is new
you hurt me last night
and it is out of my memory
you maimed my thighs again
with the flowers I bought for you
you tried strangling me this time
and I thought it could finally be true
that this is how love feels like

the day is new
and so I sit here in comfort
wearing a sweater as always so no one sees
sipping a coffee pretending to be me
I make up lists in my head
to prevent me from going insane
for fear that I might like this
for fear that I might not run

who was that from before?
the day is new
and this is me
surely my pain is sorely somatic
I’ve heard my senses call me psychotic
but there is no war inside my head
there’s just me
screaming on the television with my sockets at my cheeks
sunken within me I fade
until a new day begins

the day is new
you told me so yourself
you taught me to forgive and I did
you taught me penance and I perceived it to be
my sole purpose and the sole remedy that will save me
before I go insane

the day is new
we play darts with knives and we’re neck to neck again
winner takes all
it’s been our tradition ever since the fall
how could I possibly need somebody so much?
why am I still here?
no, you taught me to never question
the day is new but you are a staple in my life
one that I could never live without
I’m stuck with stilts on solid ground

the day is new
sometimes I wish the day will never end
the day is new
maybe it’s time we stop the play pretend
the day is new
the room is spinning
the curtains are falling
the windows apart
a distant sweet churning
the sound of your heart
maybe it’s chaotic
but maybe it calms me
the sound of wares crashing
threats thrown again
the day is new
but these habits stay the same
the day is new
so overused it’s nauseating
I double down on this disastrous misery
who am I to call you a fiend?
I’m no villian yet not quite angel again

the day is new
I dispose of yesterday’s prey
and reload
for today’s new hunting and today’s new game
Eloi Jul 2016
Am I crazy?
I see people, who aren't really there.
They talk to me, whispering things in my ear.

Shhh,
Don't tell anyone.
They'll lock you back up,
No discretion, but you just have bad luck.

They tell me I'm psychotic,
And dose me up on meds,
To make me feel "sane" again,
Their lies I will be fed.

But I've been there before, I've seen the road and I've been through the doors,
Seconds feel like years when you're in an asylum,
Your heart they will pour.

Don't call me schizophrenic,
Because I swear that I'm not,
I know the people that I see,
Were  once alive like me.
Shay Jan 2016
Bugs are crawling all over my hands; yet they're the kind only I can feel and see -
the germs I visualise as cockroaches covering everything around me.
A 3rd change of clothes in 5 hours to protect myself against their power to bring me harm,
my umpteenth hand wash trying to get rid of them; my brain turbulent with alarm.

My head is noisy; full of chaotic sadness and voices,
peculiar images and blurry characters are all I can see - not by choice.
I cannot sleep or think let alone live,
waiting for The End; I went mad with the battle so determinative.

Sitting on the shower floor
with the water raining down on me more and more.
A map of water induced wrinkles trace my skin as if by disguise,
with a river I cannot stop running from my eyes;
intoxicated with madness, these voices I need to **** -
so with a bottle of ***** I wash down a pretty little pill.

Tonight I lay with just my teddy to hold dear; loneliness creeping in - no doubt,
feeling like a child who just wants to be loved and cared about,
wishing to be protected from the monsters inside my head
as I bury myself under my covers and cry myself to sleep in bed.
Scarlet Niamh Jan 2016
Psychotic is my normality;
pure dust is my reality.

Normality is pure insanity;
the jester in my reality.
~~For me, insanity is sanity and normality is psychotic. ~~
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