I’m in the back seat of our car.
My parents are angry with me,
They’re upset.

I didn’t do as I was told.
I messed up,
Failed them in some way.
I don’t remember how
I guess it doesn’t matter.

I clamp my mouth shut
It feels good to do so.
A satisfying spread of pain,
It shoots through my teeth and gums.

But then
Suddenly,
My teeth giveaway.
They’re wobbling,
A crack and split of pain
Spreading through my mouth.

A tooth on the bottom row,
My tongue pushes it out,
And now I can see it on the floor.

I try and stop,
But my teeth
Mouth,
Gums
They’re all on a derailing train,
And I don’t know how to stop it.

I try and cry for help,
Let my parents know that something is wrong,
Pop
Rip
Crack
Two more fall to my feet,
A tiny pile of bones starting to gather.

My parents look back at me,
Disdain on their face.
What kind of daughter can’t control her own teeth?

Tears are spilling down my face,
Blood crawling down my chin,
I’m ruined.
Absolutely done.
Who would want a girl with no teeth?

Please let this be a dream.
Please let this be a dream.
Please let this be a dream.

I’m holding my mouth now,
Trying to keep my teeth in.
My tongue searches for full rows of teeth,
And instead finds holes.

This has to be a dream.
This has to be a dream.
If this is a dream,
Why can’t I wake up?

I am trapped in this car,
My teeth trickling out,
One by one,
Out of my mouth and on to the floor,
And finally,
The train runs straight off the cliff.

My jaw slams shut,
It was an accident,
I didn’t mean to,
Bits and pieces of broken teeth fill my mouth,
I can feel blood,
Rushing to fill the space left unfilled by teeth.

I try to cry out,
My parents,
They’ll be angry,
I’ll embarrass them if I don’t have teeth,
I have to fix this,
But my cry is a gargle.
Tooth and blood spill from my mouth when I try to speak,
Sputtering on to the back of the passenger seat in front of me.

This has to be a dream.
I’ve had this dream before,
This has to be a dream.
I can’t wake up,
I’m trapped in this car,
My own mouth betraying me.
Please let this be a dream.
*Please let this be a dream.

You are angry that I didn’t tell you
That I told everybody else I knew
You said such horrible things about gays
So we have to go our separate ways.
You will go back to your church teas
And, I will go out with whomever I please.

I may end up working the streets
Or living with some stranger I meet
Because living your rules is as hard
As you’re not accepting the will of god;
Because this is who he made me.
So who has the right to degrade me?

While you gripe about me hiding from you
Examine all the hateful things you do
And the awful things you say every day
About my friends, and me who are gay.
Did you never consider from day one
That you might be talking about your son?

F
A
T
H
E
R
                       WHAT
           D
           O
           E
           S

THIS

                                                        ­  WORD

MEAN?



IT MEANS

           CHALLENGE

STRENGTH

                               C O N N E C T I O N
                                                       H
                                                       R
                                                       O
                                                       U
                                                       G
                                                       H

LOVE



                                       BUT
                                    NOT
                     ­            LIKE
                              MOTHERS
                      ­           LOVE
                          

                              ­                       DAD
                                                     LOVE
IS

            DIFFERENT



HARDER                                          ­TO

                                  SP
                        ­         OT

CONTAINED

                               C O N T
                                           A
                                    G     I
                                    N I N

HARDER

                                       LIKE
                                       A
                                       WALL


BUT THERE  N O N E  T H E  L E S S

like a flowing river

THAT LEADS TO THE SEA

         TO THE ANCESTORS

                   TO THE  S O U L

                            OF A MAN

If I knew now what I knew then
I would have done it all again
Again you ask?
What do i know?
I knew in time that I would grow
Grow you say. Grow into what?
That my son i have forgot.
All I know is now I'm older
I have become less bolder
I've lived life
I used to take a chance
I used to dance
I used to run free
I was blind to what I couldn't see
I used to jump high
I used to Laugh until I was forced to cry
I loved and lost
I fell asleep out in the frost.
I made mistakes.
I skinny dipped in rivers and lakes
I have no regrets
It's your time now.
I live on through you!
My son, do all the things you want to do and always stay true to you.
One day you too will know what I knew before the day I met you.
When you look back as I do, you too will understand the unconditional love that I have.
For you are a reincarnation of me.
Your dad.
Every step
Every moment
Every event
Every time you need help
Every tear drop
Every achievement
Every failure
I will always be there!