i can't make you love me
and it pains me to admit
no matter how many times
i pleasure you
or touch you
it couldn't possibly help
i despise how obvious it is
that i am constantly savoring
your every kiss
memorizing your lips
and how they fit mine
just right
gazing into your eyes
until everything turns hazel
stroking your rough skin
and learning the landmarks
of your exterior surface
please just stay prisoner
in my bed
just wish i could look into
your mind
to know what you truly think
of me
and us
but how can i expect you
to love me
when i can't even
love myself

you lean against the rail
the night air is blowing
and you're breathing in the hurt

the memories are flooding
and you're running so fast
feet pounding on the sidewalk

your jacket ***** in the wind
brushing the reasons away
taking all the words with you

20 October 2011*

Some things are so distant, hard to get
Just like people who easily forget
All through these years, little have remained
Of beautiful memories bleached 'n' stained

Standin' b'fore the ruins of the past
Destroyed by personal desires and greedy lust
Come fallin' off the ground like a raw fruit
Too young to nourish, cannot face the truth

I can hardly recall our comings 'n' goings together
Our beginnings 'n' endings scattered somewhere
Too much pretenses, void of true feelings
We're sour grapes contemplatin' for lost things

Stayin' or leavin' doesnt matter
It's a choice I've not decided soon after
This head hurts thinkin' too much
Some things are b'yond recall as old love is such

A thread hangs loose from the sweater
snagging door handles and drawers
sew it up
it’s temporary
until there’s another way out

A faucet drips
fix it
turn it off, on, off
dripping slows
and halts until it’s done

The dog barks at the door
and the cat
and the window
let him in
he might stop

But he might not
and the faucet is leaking
and the sweater is torn
unravelling a mile a minute
flooding the room and
shattering drums

Stop
sit in the mess there is and
wonder
wonder
wonder
how

Looking at my phone
Waiting for any messages
I might receive from you
But nothing came.

I am waiting in vain
Thinking how you are
And what are you doing right now
I can't even know

Are you okay?
Are you thinking of me too?
Do you ever had a thought of me?
Because I do every single minute.

Tonight i'm writing for you.
Still trying to figure out to forget you.
Remembering the days we were together
How i wish we are forever.

Baby, don't you know this is so hard.
I want to hold you so tight,
So tight that i could assure myself you won't leave me.

I was so afraid that this time will come.
That you'll leave me all behind.
Why did you do this to me?
I miss you so come back to me.

I just want to say to you I forgive you for all that you have done
                                                  And
      ­                                               I
                                                     A
                                                     M
                                                      c
       ­                                               o
                ­                                      M
                         ­                              I
                                                       n
                                                       G
                                                        O
     ­                                                   f
            ­                                            F
                   ­                                   My
                           ­                         Cross