When life has you on your toes
snapping her fingers
and clicking her tongue
in disapproval

Too much on you plate?
no such thing
and so the pile grows
until you've stretched so thin

That your physical being
is actually
numb

Melted within the small skull cavity;
blending with the bone;
You mind is long gone
and so is your sanity

But you keep performing
because life
is cruel
and unforgiving

to any
with faults
that break the surface

Intense moments of passion made her uncontrollably weep.
But each drop of tear, rolling down her cheeks tasted so sweet.
Astonished, she looked at him and found him knowingly smile.
Yet another miracle of love, least expected, she was overwhelmed!

I feel nothing,
just irreparable darkness and all consuming sadness
I cannot shake this feeling
no matter how many times
you think I can, it can't happen.
You don't ******* get it
and there is no way to describe
the way my entire body is trembling
just from existing..
I can't escape from this darkness
I have spent my days afraid of-
trapped in this repetitive cycle
of cynical thinking.
I want to be okay.
with every inch of my being,
each and every vein inching closer to my heart
the mere thought of being okay for just one second
the idea seems so euphoric
but it leads me to disappointment in the end.
I will be okay, eventually.
But don't tell me I do not feel these feelings,
that the words I speak are irrational and insane
because I already ******* know they are-
But I have a right to feel this way.

What would you do if every instance in your life
felt as if you were almost about the fall from your chair
but, you catch yourself.
See, I lost my balance and I keep falling,
never knowing when I will hit the ground
flinching, anxiously awaiting
for the moment my body meets the pavement
so I feel everything again.
But that moment never comes
and everyone around you
is yelling,
"Just spread your wings and fly."
"Brace yourself for impact."
"Don't over-think hitting the ground too much"
"Just think positive"
"You'll stop falling soon, don't worry"
But no one realizes,
the only thing you're capable of doing
is anticipating an introduction with the ground
you know will never come.
So the hands you tried to use to grip onto the edge of sanity,
are now trying to grasp any chance of survival you have left
but there's no ledge for you to hold onto
no safety net or parachute.
Just you and the open air,
accompanied by your constant fear.

This is depression
and I am falling every single ******* day
so don't ******* tell me I'm over-reacting.

Will someone just hold me close
Because I have never felt this weak
I have never felt this small
I have never wanted to
Run and hide
So badly.

Deep below the surface,
in dark and muddy waters,
she was raised.
Never looking for the surface.
Never knowing there was land.
Until one day,
the winds started to change
and the deep rolling waves
washed her ashore and far
from the mud her roots were
planted in.
The sun warmed her face,
Her fins grew to feet
and with a walk turned sprint,
she paved her own path-
so very far from mud she called home.
She knew her contentment was temporary,
as the rains always come.
And when the water crashes from
clouds to land,
the dirt will swallow the rains
and the mud will anchor into her shoes.

Hold your breath silly girl,
down you'll go again.

The ground trembles a slow
and ever-present roar,
growing into a growl.
The delicates of the earth
panic and claw at the cracks and edges
searching for a way to hold on.

In the unbounded bottom,
I see the end of all
and the beginning of new.
So I loosen my grip
and let the endless earth
swallow me whole.

Foundation painted in lies
Existence collapsing without energy
And so time flows by
A landslide in a blink of an eye
I want to avoid any neutral paths
A shining stage
I want to bathe in that place's light
Is that too much to wish?

At the far away shining blue light
Stacking fatigue, Overtaking nervouness
It never disappears
The darkness of sadness
It seems like i'm living with no disabilities
But i was
Hiding them

The engine broke
From knowing too much of this reality
I'm dried of everything except the future
I possible couldn't know about you who are lively
When numerous sadness sweeps in
I held them in white staring at the muddy water that was closing off the path
At that time there was no light

I was nervous after looking at you
Who had bright eyes and spoke of hope
Even though I'm not strong, I wanted what not possible
And lived in vain as the cost of it

Still, this cold mind overflowed
Due to lack of rejections and consent
My poor brain uselessly tried to find the lost time
Black rain, hope that was hidden in the avalanche

The curtain of red blood, not blue, surrounds it
I'm not the one who is crazy, it feels like I can't breathe
Because you who was running towards the light was so bright
I couldn't catch up so easily

The whirwind of the hideous jealousy overlaps with my emotion
I didn't know the truth so I lost without defections the game monster
The only one that can calm this depressed mind is me
I was tired from wandering around so i came to this place
The limit has already broken trough
And is flooding out from my capacity
The identity of the pain that overcame me

The rain of despair ripped apart the silence
I only have to make it throw away the sinister mind
When numerous sadness is sweeping in
If I keep on slowly walking instead of being sweapt away,
I bet the long, long night will one day
Be a little brighter

each time you announce a flaw, a part of me cowers
am i really that horrible?

you seek out every mistake i've ever made
every single imperfection

how can i possibly measure up?
how can i end this abuse?

this power you have over me is overwhelming
and **i won't put up with it anymore

I never tell you when I'm crying
I never tell you "please don't leave me"
I never tell you how empty I feel
I never tell you about the pounding in my head, or about the overwhelming urge to talley my sleepless hours into my skin
I never tell you about the broken vessels in my eyes from the times I weep so hard I ***** up your absence I so carefully choked down
I never tell you how I wish you would give me flowers..they don't have to be fancy..
I never tell you what a fool I am
I never tell you about how selfish I really am
I never tell you about how badly I want you here; about how lost I am without you
I never tell you about how badly I want to dance with you
I never tell you how I wish you would tell me I'm beautiful every chance you get
I never tell you how when I see you disconnect, I cry and cry and cry
I never tell you how I bet you're fine without me
I never tell you how I want to spend the best years of my life with you
I never tell you how lonely I am
I never tell you
I never tell you
I never tell you
I never