What’s this ache that brews in me,
A shadow cast where light should be?
No storm has stirred, no words were said,
Yet something silent bows my head.

I'm wrapped in love, a sacred bliss,
Each glance, each touch, a holy kiss.
I'm held, adored, as though divine—
Still, dread seeps in between the lines.

No cracks have formed within our skies,
No lies, no tears behind the eyes.
So why this pulse, this sinking thread—
This heartbreak haunting me ahead?

Do I paint ghosts where none exist,
Or script a fall in every kiss?
Do I, in peace, begin to roam
To ruins I create from home?

Perhaps I fear the quiet most,
The way it feels like tempting ghosts.
Perhaps it’s me—this war within—
Afraid of love I’m safe in.

A vivid imagination
is good for the soul
It makes you funny,
makes you feel whole
Ideas on ideas
minute after minute,
Make believe so real
you feel like you're in it

I’ve never been good at asking for what I need

when I do, I fight myself every step of the way

it doesn’t seem to come out right—
or maybe I just don’t say the right words

maybe I’m not being seen or heard

is there a misunderstanding,
or do I feel misunderstood?

I don’t know—
maybe it’s all in my head

what I do know is that I don’t have the energy
to fight to be seen

maybe I’m just being dramatic

maybe I feel rejected

I don’t know if that’s sensitivity, or if my feelings are actually valid

I feel a missed bid for connection

I feel as if I am giving more than I am receiving

at times, it feels as if there’s no reciprocity

I desire, want, and need
to not feel so alone with another human being

I don’t know if I’m being irrational with this,
or dismissive to myself

I have an intense want to avoid and withdraw

I don’t know if I’m just being sensitive

I just wanted ten minutes of time, and it seems as if there’s no time at all

I expect myself from others
and let myself down when I don’t receive that

maybe I have unrealistic expectations of others

maybe I am asking for too much

maybe I am just being sensitive.

I hate this feeling
your feelings are fading
aren't they?
I can tell
or maybe I'm overthinking
I can't tell
but to ask you
you might lie
to save my feelings
you went from giving me
your time of day
and conversation flowed
like a river
now I initiate everything
and you seem distant
I hate this feeling
the not knowing
the feeling I ruined everything
I could ask you
how you feel
but would it change anything?
maybe it would confirm
my worst fears
that you lost feelings
due to my insecurities
pressuring you to make
a decision
I hate this feeling
your feelings are fading
aren't they?
I can tell

my chest tightens
and my mind races
I overthink every interaction
and where it all went wrong
maybe I'm reading too much
into it
or maybe you're distant
and it's my fault
I never wanted to rush you
and now
I've lost you

Did you love me?
Or was it just my laughter at your jokes—
my habit of giggling, even at your half-shady pokes?

Did you love me?
Or did I just have the time?
Did you think, “Yeah, she’s not half bad. This could be just fine.”

Did you love me?
Or were you just scared—
tired of doing life alone, craving a body that cared?

Was it real for you? Or just another game?
Was I a plot point in your story
because the chapters had gotten tame?

These thoughts still haunt me—
and the truth I’ll never know.
Mostly because I’d never ask—
and I wouldn't survive you saying “no.”

Let's immerse ourselves in this moment here and now.
For we don't know when this time may be over.
Let's feel it all and let go of our doubt.
Life is too short and our thoughts too loud.

Sometimes it's worth it to dive deeply into
Whatever shows for you today,
Take all you can, this moment is unique to you,
The harder you think the farther it may be away.

Tell me not to think of you anymore, tell me to disappear without a trace.
Tell me to shut the **** up, that you don't even want to think of my face.

See I can't stop until I'm embarrassed, apparently I haven't reached that threshold yet.
Tell me you're so mad you can't bare it, that every minute of your time went to waste.

Tell me you don't like me, don't sugar coat it like you tend to do, tell me to go back to whatever hell I came from and that you'll be better off if I'm far away from you.