You came to me in what I thought was a dream,
but it was actually the mundane,
and the secrets my conscious brain,
was keeping from me.

You were a part of reality all along,
it's just taken me a bit to realize it.
Sunlight can be blinding,
and raindrops are more obvious.

I left you
Left you lying on a bed
Cuddled up with our memories.
I left you to go cry
To rock myself to sleep
Clutching our memories.
I left you
I left you whole, yet I was shattered
Broken pieces of self doubt and insecurity.
I left you to go put myself back together,
To try and regain my dignity
To try and feel happy
I left you to try and figure out
how you can both leave me feeling so good
And also so lost.
I left you because you don't want me
Because I can't continue to want you
And I can't continue to care, when you dont.
I left you because I am chasing a ghost
Running after someone that never started the race.
I left you because I knew you'd let me
Let me run out the door,
Drunk as I was, sad as I was, lonely and playing second fiddle as I was.
I left you because your pity makes me sick
Am I as pathetic as I appear?
I left you because I knew you wouldn't call,
I knew you wouldn't text to see if I was ok.
I left because sleep was more important
To you then my slowly breaking heart and mind.
I left you because I am too dramatic
and even still I know this is my fault,
That this played out the way I knew it would.
I left you because I cannot leave myself.

i can't make you love me
and it pains me to admit
no matter how many times
i pleasure you
or touch you
it couldn't possibly help
i despise how obvious it is
that i am constantly savoring
your every kiss
memorizing your lips
and how they fit mine
just right
gazing into your eyes
until everything turns hazel
stroking your rough skin
and learning the landmarks
of your exterior surface
please just stay prisoner
in my bed
just wish i could look into
your mind
to know what you truly think
of me
and us
but how can i expect you
to love me
when i can't even
love myself

Don't be too obvious
Even your whisper could be heard
Don't be too obvious
Your glances could be caught
Don't be too obvious
You failed
And now he's looking into your eyes
And melting you inside

What year is it in Mississippi?
Sometimes it’s hard to tell,
You’d think in the 21st century,
We’d be able to tell time well.

Talking slow and taking it slow is okay
At least for most of the time
But there’s a big difference in drawling what you say,
And never reaching your prime

What year is it in Mississippi?
I don’t think it has its own zone.
Surely it’s impossible for the entire state
To have their watches on loan.

What year is it in Mississippi?
They seem so hopelessly behind,
Most other states quickly recognize
That her flag is hatred-lined.

What year is it in Mississippi?
Sorry, but I have to ask,
First in everything bad, and last in anything good,
To even tie with another state seems an impossible task.

Because when you act like you’re still in the past,
You’re going to keep being last.
And passed.
And bashed.
And masked.
And trashed.

No one thinks it’s hopeless yet
Or that the whole state is obscene,
I just hate to break it to Mississippi
That it is 2015.

I finally figured out
as I fell in love
you simply grazed it