As I wake
I mistake the sirens as my name
The wail telling me to come
That I’ve got lost again and I need to follow them home
Home as in the straight jacket hospital
Home as in you belong here
Home as in basically GSA
Your mind is the only sharp thing in sight
And the rope once noose tying you down
Honest to God I tried to keep my demons on a leash.
I tried to hold the rope tight and keep it from wrapping around my neck.
But, somewhere between late night dinners and goodbyes to friends,
Choking me slowly.
Tightening bit by bit, day by day.
I can feel it now.
Making my head throb in a numbing and rhythmic way.
Making an exhale seem like a rarity in this dull trance of pain.
I wonder when my last breath will be.
I wonder when-
into a noose
around your neck
as you take
your last step
I dreamed a nightmare
just last night
I dreamed a nightmare
what a fright
Your hands, they shook
as they gripped my throat
Your weary eyes
somehow seemed to gloat
"Look at my prize"
they seem to say
"I said I'd come
for you one day"
Those words you spat upon my face
like marks on paper, you cant erase
those awful things you did to me
and now you're climbing up a tree
with rope in hand
you tie a knot
and then you say
"Oh, I forgot"
You grab my wrist and pull me close
"Now its time for 'Adios'"
You tie the noose around my neck
bright lights surround, like discotheque
and as you place me on the chair
I recognize that auburn hair
the way it frames your little face
you're evil but you look like grace
you look into my eyes eyes and say
you'll never see another day
you pull the chair and all I see
are my own eyes looking back at me
I wake up as cold sweats surround
the dead of night, not a single sound
my breath is fast
my face is red
and my mind...my mind
it wants me dead
No one’s looking.
An acorn is the only sound
I hear while falling to the ground.
I leap from my tree;
But I’m not quite free;
There’s a lasso around
My mind is like a cave
thoughts are the monsters hiding inside
they tempt me
whisper things in my ear
pull me in by the noose around my neck
and then drown me in doubt
I can't see anything properly
dust clouds my vision
I'm being dragged deeper
until I can't see the light
I'm going in circles trying to find my way out
I try to call out but I'm stopped
the shame is suffocating
I can't see
I cant breath
I cant call for help
But I can't do it alone
The smoke is gone
Someone pulls me up
they take me out to the light
they pull off the noose
and we talk
and we cry
and we walk
and then I hear a whisper
This is me trying to get back into creative writing
Song Recommendation: https://youtu.be/eCeBNwBUkcI
Clouding her vision.
Falling to her knees,
As her baby boy
From the old oak tree.
This modern day Civil War
is fighting with ourself over our childhood depression.
The ending battle is finally tying the noose.
What side will come out in the end?