"She is so nice!
She is always smiling and happy."*
-they said,
as she passed by them.
But *her pillow told a
totally different story!

When you knocked on my door
I quickly tried to hide myself
Even though its  crying
I didn’t want to worry you even more

You asked if you could come in
I replied quietly ‘sure’
You sat at the corner of my bed
Telling me it’s okay
That you’re by my side

You looked at me
Your face all concerned
You wiped the drooling mascara
And helped me up

I started to speak
But the tears started to flow again
You pulled me into a hug
And held me tight

I walk to the bathroom
You right behind me
I saw your reflection
In the ***** mirror
Your face all worried

You asked me if you could do anything
I sheepishly replied no
I wiped the rest of mascara and tears away
With a piece of toilet paper

I turned to apologise
But it all came out  mutated
And the tears started to fall

You pulled me tight
And told me it's okay
You laid my head in your shoulder
And helped me to the bed

You told me it wasn't my fault
It can happen sometimes
Miscarriages are normal
They can happen
Don’t let it hold you back

You held me in your arms
Until I started to fade into a light sleep
The whole night you were there
By my side
Protecting me

In the morning
You made me tea
And promised me
That we will try again

Later that year
I was 3 months pregnant
The doctor told me
I was going strong

Later that night
You held me tight
Told me not to worry
It will be alright

Your comfort
Your constant reassuring
Your special talks
Was all I needed

a lot of things are overrated
     like coffee
         or pumpkin spice

but one thing that isnt
     is
  being nice

People always ask me why I photograph,

I often tell them-

I photograph because some people have foggy lenses, and some people have foggy mirrors.

~A Photographer

Would it be nice if people would shut up
There would be a lot less noise pollution
If people would shut up
We could work

But no
You think your life is more important
And want the world to hear you
Just shut up
Some people just want some peace and quiet
I want some peace and quiet

Just learn to shut up
Be quiet
And keep your mouth shut

Oh, and as I said
Learn to SHUT UP!!!

I tell people that I'm not 'nice'
and they immediately assume
I'm telling them
I'm mean.

What I meant to say is-
I'm not soft
or fluffy
or flowery.

But I like to think
I'm good
and that I do
good things.

I'm honest
and I'll always tell you
what I think you need to hear
whether you want to
or not.

and I'll always be there
whether you're looking for me
or not,

but I won't whisper
fake, meaningless, sweet
nothings
into your ear.

I won't pretend I like
the way you
insult people's love
or appearance
or culture.

And I won't pretend
to be who I'm not.
Just to make you think
I'm a 'Nice' Girl.

I’ll never be the ‘nice’ girl
Clean and pure like fallen snow,
But I will burn away the hate
And any demons you may know.

I promise that I’ll be here
When the darkness hurts your heart
I will glow, burn, and light the way
Because ‘pretty’ can’t match art.

I’ll burn with the rage of fire
But I won’t be your glowing moon,
I do not love nor give trust freely,
But it’s strongest when I do.

You might only see my shielded heart
And my ever-guarded soul,
But find the crack and then
I’ll be yours- eternal, broken, whole.

I’ll never be the nice girl
Because I’m ‘better’ than just nice-
Because my fire burns the brightest
And I’ll be willing to pay their price.