In dark or day, with rain or burning sun,

nothing holds as pure as a mountain’s air.

When all is quiet and the day is done,

I feel so much guilt for the weight she bares.


Among me are thousands of other guests,

Her rocky flesh, we will surely consume.

Myself, the trees and the animals- pests,

worsening winter’s night till summer’s noon.


She pushes me closer to her clifftops

I peer over the edge, fearful, yet numbed.

not fearing the pain, not fearing the drop,

but fear of destiny- to which i will succumb.


For my bones will become fertilizer,

to the ever-selfless, fertile mother.

There's been nothing to look forward to
The days seem intertwined
My dreams have become diluted
Stuck in the perils of my mind

I'll sleep the day away
Stay wide awake throughout the nights
The darkness hides the pain I'm in
And any remanence of my plight

What's out there lurking in the shadows
With the stars my only light
I stare into the emptiness
Weighing wrong from right

Questioning my role on earth
And which fire to ignite
To set in motion my devotion
And launch my rocket into flight  

I am merely a speck of dust
In the grand scale of our 'verse
Our existence just an afterthought
That mother earths' disbursed

Sitting, waiting, watching days go by
The outcome looming large
An inevitable grave tragedy
As tears fall from loved ones eyes

I chuckle at the thought of legacy
For the future passers by
What a twisted complexity
This fragile thing that we call life.

The hustle and the bustle
The ladders we must climb
To reach the top, the utmost peek
Why even waste the time?

Where is the silver lining?
What mysteries left to find?
What discovery of all discoveries
Can amend this somber paradigm?

Love you say!?
I hasten to agree
How does that explain my disdain
For the person that is me

I, of good heart and soul
And adored by a grand descent
Still have yet to wet my whistle
By way of the clouds above my head

I feel I must confess my passion
To set the worriers at ease
Not for the sake of saying so
Nor for the galleries esteem

But for self and perseverance
The underlining good
So what, pray tell do you say?
It is that of motherhood

The nature of its being
The uniqueness and individuality
Of every single human being

And love, in this pretext
Is a love that I can bare
That of every living thing
In to which nothing can compare

A metamorphosis of thought!
For you and I alike
The yin and yang unearthed
The meaning of life.

Varicose veins stitched into her thighs she is beautiful in the way
Her skin is soft and quietly dimpled
The places around her slightly down turned mouth
Her eyes that have seen
That have SEEN
Into the hearts of many a lover of a weepy child
Eyes lost and found through the window pane overlooking the slowly rotting rose bush
Her stomach is like linen sheets it is delicately wrinkled delicately lined
The labor of child birth the beauty of carrying a child
She has given herself she is reborn she is eternal
Stretch marks slightly more pale than what they cut through glow In the moonlight she is angelic
Shimmering grey hair twinkles against where it has splayed behind her
A halo a crown of settling dust
She is illuminated
Her body is art she has been delicate she has been rough
Her ******* hang they have fallen softly from the gentle caresses of Father Time
So softly she is touched
The light of the night surrounds her and in all these things
Silver trands velvet skin
A maze of veins on her palette
In all of these things she exists
She EXISTS she remains ever beautiful ever daunting
She is She is She is
And she will always be

I feel so hollow sometimes
As weightless as your charms
Resting quiet at my breast
Bound to you in depth, by death,
I carry silent remnants
Like a noose around my neck
A porcelain heart
An Angel's wing
A silver crying moon
A heart of steel
A balanced cross
A grief too deep to feel.
I too am now a cloud.

Your love spills over me so gracefully,
with no effort, I fell with you so fast
and every darkness fades.

Peacefully asleep in my arms, breathing
kissing your sweet hands as they lay in mine
nothing could keep me from you.

So small, so frail you saved me, gave me life
your smile, precious is all I ever need
promising me only joy and love

after love.

My paradise...
Little perfection.
Work of art --
My reflection.
The dream,
The image,
The thought...
Gone.
I grimace.

He was taken away from me
Before I even had a chance to hold him.
Behind the tears that are shed today
Is a young girl that thought she could be a woman.

It's hard to believe
         That the entire world
Fits into a seven pound
         Fourteen ounce package.

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Do you see what I see

I see her
The one who carried me
For her vulnerability
For her arrogance
For her joys
For her impulsiveness
For her motherhood
For her individuality
For her fearlessness

And I see her
The one who still carries me
For her adaptiveness
For her honesty
For her pious soul
For her warmness
For her empathy
For her leadership
For her abundant love

I am a part of her and her together
Do you see that in me too?

mommy loves you unconditionally
even as you soar amongst the clouds
searching for the perfect timing
to come on down
please, forgive my impatience
i just have this undying urge
to have you here
in my arms, clinging to my breast
as i provide you with life
and you provide my breaths

little one, shining so bright
come to me only when you feel it's right
the doctors tell me otherwise
and my womanhood is of questionable might
but i know you are as rightfully my child
just as i am the moon to your night

an infertile mother will forever understand
why so many letters are written to our unborn
with shaken hands
why so many tears have fallen
why you wonder it isn't your calling
to be given a life of other plans

but i know you hear me, little one
and i know you love me too
and i promise to better preserve my body
so that it may be the perfect home for you
until you are ready to bless me with your smile; the uniqueness that is true
everything i do, everything i aim to be,
every dream i work so hard to achieve

i do for you

so please, be slow and easy little one
mommy needs preparation too
just know this,
when you've become tired of waiting;
when you're ready for the world
and you're journey has come to the point of passing through
watch for flashing lights
and smiling faces
and tears of joy
listen for songs of love

because i'll be right there--
for i've been waiting too...

just for you.