I've always been soothed
By the sound of the sea
You both arrived with waves of pain
And crashing of water
Perhaps that's why I'm soothed
By the two of you

The steady blink of a lighthouse
Anchored to the bed
Until you had to come out
A knife to the sand dune of my belly
I couldn't feel my legs
But I could feel you

A tiny hand, a star fish over my heart
Holding on as we were cast adrift
To navigate unchartered waters
Sometimes it felt like we were going under
But you were always there on my chest
The swell of the waves
Up, down, up, down

It seems a life time ago
Those stormy nights, milk drunk, lost
We've built castles, moats and skimmed stones
I have always been soothed by the sound of the sea
And I hope that the two of you
Will always be soothed
By me

Mother of Mercy, channel of Grace
Wrap our hearts in thine embrace
Fount of Love and joyful giver
Bathe us in thy cleansing river
Help our hearts be as new fallen snow
And aid us so our holiness might grow
Pray to Jesus for us poor sinners
Open our hearts as we read the scriptures
May we show mercy to others
Treating all as sisters and brothers
Oh, source of help in our time of need
Hear us Oh Holy Mother and intercede
Help us each to pause, ponder, and reflect
On the moments of our lives in retrospect
To learn from, to cherish and to hold
To warm us when we are in the cold
Mother of Mercy grant us your peace
May our love for thee ever increase
Through the merits of thy maternal love
May it, now and always, ever be enough

I Am a Sinner
I am a sinner,
My mind is a mess.
Where I find comfort,
I sleep the deepest rest.

I should say,
I am a sinner
For I sleep
While my mother is dying.

I am a sinner,
For I eat,
While my mother is starving

I try to pinpoint when my childlike rage started, but it never started. It was passed through my blood, out of the womb. my mother and father gave me this poison, fire in my blood, that is slowly burning me from the inside out.

i tend to blame my mother for everything that is wrong with me.
the insanity and
insecurity
and addiction to temporarily filling a void meant for
her love.
My heart beats to the rhythm of her footsteps,
counting how many strides
i have left
to wipe away my tears before
she reaches my door.
there is no margin for error in her unspoken expectations.

i used to blame anything but myself for my actions.
i was a compulsive liar for 4 years,
a narcotic addict for 5.
i layered lies like pills
scattered throughout my room,
each finding their way into my mouth
at the wrong time.

i am the only thing that is wrong with myself.
i'm haunted by reflections in the mirror,
echoes of the girl i couldn't save.
i tried to scrub her off my skin,
carve around the edges and
crawl out of this body.
i became too familiar with the salty taste of bleakness,
a bittersweet over dose.
if only the child-locks on
medicine bottles
worked even after the child-like innocence was
lost.

i think
i want to be saved
a little more than
i want to be loved.

You pick on me Always
You put me on Spot for no reason
You are the biggest Critic I ever had
You read between my lines
You are friends with mine
You could easily know what I did
You pick fight with me, cat fights

After all these
You makes me my favourites, right after the fight
You had all my things covered, even if we are not taking
being miles apart... you reached out, when am down
You could do things that you are not fond of,  just for me
You are never tired for me!
I feel an embrace of warmth, from your words
Your hugs means world to me!
I will never want to miss that

I wish to cherish that for ever
I love you Mother!

Mama's day passes

uncomplicated, she just --


follows dad's schedule.

Sitting in the passenger seat
Driving down the highway
Cars passing us at the speed of light
The music fills the car
The sweet melodies
Creating vivid images in my mind
The figures dance across my vision
Like I'm watching a movie
I want to stay
In this trance like state forever
But then my mother speaks
And her voice breaks my reverie

I want to ask the faeries, 
What they do when they crave their mothers' love. 
Do they also chop their mystical hair? 
Until they think the desire has been killed enough. 
I want to ask their mothers, 
If they love their young ones. 
If they love them like the others, 
Or only when they go and hunt. 

Do the faeries bring them male elves? 
Pixie dust, leopard spit. 
What do they take for themselves? 
Allergic pollen and squirrel bits. 
Love in pieces, 
Nothing in peace. 
Handful of desperation, 
Affection is all they need. 
They drown themselves in ivy deep, 
Swing from the branches of dry trees. 
Until one of them cries and leaves, 
Yet the Faerie is weak? 

Evil birth giver, you wicked witch. 
Lonesome struggle you provided them with, 
And the forest is burning. 
The lakes are *****. 
Rocks are ******. 
Horrible chav creature, do you regret uttering curt? 
All the eggs you had ever laid, 
Have now decomposed in the foul dirt.