People always seem to misunderstand me,
It's amazing how they can judge so quickly,
That's why I decided to always be the happy one,
The one to make jokes and everything seemed fun,
But what they don't know is that anxiety,
Floods through me.
How much I hold back from the things I really want

You see it's a cruel world out there
I learned how to people can stab you in the back and pretend to care,
How everything you do
is going to be judged by people who have no clue.

So I've learned to sugarcoat my opinions,
Hide behind a lie: a smile
Be the nice one in every situation
Someone who would go that extra mile

Still it wasn't enough,
In the end I was still misunderstood.
Even if my intentions were good
it still got twisted to some bad stuff.

So I just hold myself back
trying to save myself from all the heartache,
Avoiding the trouble my emotions would make
Sugar coating my opinions
In serious situations
Just drowning myself lyrics
Avoiding all the tricky topics

Yet once again they misunderstand me,
They come up with this version of my life story,
they'd assume I'm always lonely,
And honestly it makes me angry,
Because they don't even know me.

I don't know who I am or why I'm here.
I don't know why people I love never stay near,
But I guess I'm just me;
Forced to be someone I don't wanna be.
I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I scream,
Or why I provoke and say what I don't mean.

I don't know why I'm this way.
Is it right?
Can I change who I am?
Is it worth the fight?
I guess I'm stuck as I am.
If I don't accept me then who can?

I can,
And I could.
It's okay,
Most of us are misunderstood.
That's who you are and that's who you'll be.
Someone worth fighting for.
Someone like me.

Misunderstood.

I asked,
Not for you.
A question that tore this apart,
An answer could have saved this heart.

I was decided against.

Why didn't I know what to ask?
Why didn't I know not to ask?
STUPIDITY.

In the world,
I am a dreamer,
Torn between what I was,
And what I will never be.
Being "nice" or "beautiful,"
But is beauty all that matters?

I don't feel it:
No beauty,
No intelligence,
No worth.
Wanted:
The only thing I can never be.


Later...
You took back a word.
You claimed you lied.
Which one?
Was it the promise or the answer?
Or is it a false apology?

Flawless my acting was,
Against everything I felt that day.
The pieces of my heart are small,
And it will never amount to enough.
Hopeless when a friendship turns bitter--

--I shouldn't have asked.
I should have been more introverted.
I should not have relied on my instincts.


The wind blows,
Teasing my hair
And drying my tears,
But all I think about is lost...

...Was your answer the lie?

No agreeability.
Force herself right into me.
See how she hides everything.
Oh but yet she can't accept
My bisexuality.

No, honestly.
Why am I still pondering?
Why am I still wondering?
Why the **** am I sitting here
Worried about what my momma thinks?

Seriously.
I don't worship Deities.
She said I did recently
Why do I even care when
She can't read me decently?

It's not fair.
I know what I feel there.
I talk to Him, I'm not scared.
I don't need to be treated
Like I'm spiritually impaired.

The last time
I've committed no ******* crime
I'm not replica of your design
This body I walk in,
This body is mine.

And despite of your words that burn
I will keep loving my life.

******
A word I have heard a thousand times
A thousand different ways
But has always sounded the same,
Like ignorance

A word that has never left me feeling worthless
Or unloved
Just misunderstood

Even when followed by being thrown into the bathroom stall of a Girl's gym  locker room
Or by the few friends I had left helping me clean up my battered face and the hide the bruises

I have always been proud of the term ****** because even though it was said to be offensive
I was being acknowledged as me

But when the word was spilled by the woman who once rocked me to sleep till I was no longer scared
The woman who has always protected me
It was then that all the pain I ever should have felt
Took a hold of my heart and ran it up to my throat until the pain leaked from my eyes
I was angry
I was sad
And I was scared
Because I knew that word was always followed by violence
And I didn't think that I would be able to walk with my head held high from this one
My face turned red and my blood turned cold and I watched my father defend me
Finally I stopped him and I looked at her
And I said yes, but I'm your ******

I guess you gotta be popular for followers
popular for likes
once again i speak of this hatred i cannot fight
we all put our hearts into poetry
yet only the popular people get the likes for what they do

i show people love regardless of how many followers or likes they have
cause i understand that a lot of us wanna be heard
we want the world to know that we are here fighting a battle not yet lost
we post our problems so people can understand that life is no joke
we post about ones we love
from boyfriends girlfriends friends and fam
I only speaking the truth cause thats who i am

we all have the talent to change the world
we all have the talent to be as good as poets like Langston Hughes, Tupac and others as well
im just saying saying it's not the followers and likes that make the poet
only Passion and Desire make real poets

They had thin arms and basketballs
Jokes and jackstones
I only had my lunch box

They were eating together
I was alone

Across me
A riff of tables and chairs
There were my classmates
Exchanging butterscotch
Their laughter rang

In the white sound, I could not even speak because
Love never needed to talk
It just needed to create sense in my mouth
My mouth was full. Stuffed with the tanginess of gravy
This is why lonely is my bliss
Grow
Fat but I belong