From the cocoon, I have vanished
Or taken the form
of Likes, Shares and Hastags

Because, you said you were there
And I didn't hear your voice
All I had was your syntax
Nothing to hold to remember you were near.
Perhaps, only a Bible verse
That you copied and pasted.
That was now Nano data

So, your concern
Was over a wall of words
Bound by HTML coding
Latched with permalinks

Your words, they meant  “well”;
But they need to come
With gifts and dropping the phone.
Before I can think of leaving
Before I begin to fly
Before I leave with balloons
Tied around my neck.
And reflecting rainbow colors
In a sky spectrum.

Eventually, I tried to reach the sky
But I gave up
Because I was seeing the clouds
Etched into the skyscrapers.
With fluorescent growing translucent

The building—I wanted to see its windows in motion.
So, I spread my wings
And saw the lights beam up within a rapid rush
Then, I colored the sidewalk in rainbows.
With my mass
and waste of space.

He gave every breath daily
To a world—A world of brisk heartbeats
A human thud per terasecond
And within the quantum of technology grace
Hard facts and simple sentences
Typed down each word
To complete the quota

He left his soul behind
No love was aloud
No love was allowed
So, to set the pace—
He kept his world to his own
Versus those whose worlds were with each other

The loneliness turned to rain
Silver scatterings and empty wholes
Water would hold no life
Willows hate. Don't thrive
Connecting the dots without the push of a pen
He loomed in routine but his heartbeat was still there
Mastering the mundane
Walking the earth, not at all running

Words were written on his face
Founding the start of standard
And implying a taste
He could like every photo
Yet hate that person elsewhere
So, he cried
And no tears fell
So, he worked
To pay money for love
Like a fool
Like a tired fool

I know Im not suppose to
Share my problems
Yell or cry
Not for now
Or ever
Never let people know
But I confess
Confide with the fact
That my personal veins
And my blood flow
Have these wounds that were meant to be
The scars of someone else

I try to fix myself
With the smiles I see
They walk, stand upright
"Be of good cheer"
Pretend to be healed
I am worse
Because I "can" fix them
Because I am fine...
Because I am what I should be

My body is due
Long overdue
It buffers the colds with
Half hearted beats
Double chocolate chip
And peppermints
But I turned to
Euchalyptus
Because of the snow breaths
To temper the hellfire
I keep inside me

I can say Im okay
Until you are
But I will find myself
...you will find me
Hung against the sky
Or on a Christmas tree branch
Like an ornament
The angel
Above joseph and mary
Who is happy
Who is suspended in air
Tied to a fiber string
Tied to forever

...
….You make me want to return into the shell I already broke out of.
I hope you
Your
You’re happy
Because it is now a cave. From which I will spend eternity.
Congrats. Congrats on showing me the world for exactly what it is.
A place. A dwelling.
A dwelling for those who talk against the slow, the weak.
THE RECOVERING. THOSE WHO WISH TO GROW.
Those who have nothing but good intentions. Intentions not for themselves but. For Others.
Congrats.
My soul is as rachet. As hated. As Hatred.
BECAUSE OF all things that came: Your gossip. Your rumors. Your hidden enigma….*ehem agenda
…
Got to me. Broke me in front of reality.
Naked and bounded by nothing but deceit. Discord.
I call on Shiva...but now..
...Jesus.
Please. Show me the broken way. The broken way back to glory.
If nails strike me down. I’m willing.
I’m willing go further. Not to death. But to suffer. But not suffice or succumb.
Because I'm giving in again. I’m giving in...again.
“And I’m just holding on for tonight, On for tonight, On for tonight”
“Help me, I’m holding on for dear....”
LIFE

And I decided
LONG AGO
That I wont.
***** THEM

!!!
…. “I’m gonna swing, from the chandelier, the chandelier”
“I wanna fly”
“Like a bird in the night”
Watch my tears as they fall
Make rain a ghost of
A proof
Of the broken
Broken glass, broken mirrors
Broken bones out of
Words
syntax.....
...

I let the under cooked carrot cubes play with ginger hues and pork broth in my mouth. Their dull edges slightly carved my tongue but the soup did pass like ocean waves to the seashore. It left me essentially wanting more. Down my esophagus it goes as I cramp down the vitamin C, B12(?) and a sorry excuse to a quick fix dinner. It was good all the same. It was those spring onion stems that bonded together next to the pork. Crunches of fresh grass and a morning Sun.
My laptop holds the key to what could possibly be my ticket to the bed in no where near the intention...the drive to dream. My mind is too tired to think of good planets...of worlds that are created for my craving to rest on clouds or probably fat people that can run for miles against the fit. But my head is still on the screen...Typing and wishing words were closer to my "academic thoughts".

You say you have known me all your life.
But life wasn’t long enough:
To keep grandpa alive by the fish pond
To amend in world peace
To make sure friends never said goodbye
To stay awake and never wonder
To know one another

Know? Know one another?
Knowing me. Knowing You. Knowing One.
Knowing
Know
No, No One
No-ing
No-ing the fact that you say you’d stay forever
(only kept my mouth
Shut. ) We were never even talking within
Facets of understanding or under the grace of chocolate cake and candied apples.

Know
No that you were here and I was there in the same room though.
Though?
No
You let me speak in a matter of control
The words you got reciprocate to hollow
Hollow
Halo. Hollow. Mixed?

Mixed within the coils of a *** life and carbon monoxide
These are the men on the sidewalk saying “The politicans are pigs”
Every day, in Morayta, know
No that know sun will rise because
The politicans let clouds hover
Not a soul. Neither their bones.
No bones…..Know: Bones.
Not the bones. The soul!

Taxing the soul is nothing compared to
Hi’s and hellows are 3 pesos a piece.
Sir, you are going away
The plain of a heart that knows is
No. Nowhere to be found
For to know
Is never to truly
No