"I don’t get it", it’s not a poetic phrase, and certainly not any insight to my abstract mind. It doesn’t represent any of the words I was trying to lay on the page, but is a perfect insight of how all of those words ended with dark scribblings marked over any of the slightest potential. It’s made up of uncertainty and weariness, but does not run strict to the grain. Its the result of biting my tongue a hundred times, while letting the river of your voice drown out every last inch of drought in the desert of my mind. But I should know that new foliage can never grow when nourished with polluted water.

I just have to speak my mind, ok
It's this dysfunctional need I have to be heard
Otherwise I leak out everywhere and it makes a mess and it stains people's hands in these beautiful hues but they're colorblind
so all they can see is gray and black mud spatters
and my heart shatters at the thought that nobody will ever understand me.

I hate the way,
                         I believed your promises.
I hate the way,
                        you led me to touch
the truth in the words you wrote.

I hate the way I opened
                         my curtains and doors,
letting in the sunshine of you;
breathing in the scent of you.

I hate the reasons
                         of things I don't know,
of things you didn't do,
that left me waiting.

I hate standing here.
Wave-after-wave hitting the shore.
Without sight of you,
                         anywhere on the horizon.

I hate that there's no way
to pull closed my doors.
And forget you.
                       Like you forgot me.

a knight in shining armour
to win a girls heart

a knight in shining armour
to gleam in the sun

a knight in shining armour
is a man who has never seen battle

my armour is not shining
but dented and damaged

i am not a knight in shining armour
the shine is long gone
only a crust of dried blood remains

i am not a knight in shining armour
once maybe, but no more

for i have seen too many battles
and will see too many more

yet as She views Her suitors
She has already chosen Her champion
long before the fight-

there he is boldly:
a knight in shining armour

They call me Subject B.

Belly full with the pills
they fed me, still hungry,

legs pumping
to pendulum this swing,

inside a playground
that ignores my miming,

shrieking and throwing feces,
at hairless beings who nox me.

Dreaming of melting
the swing's chain, I fly
feet dangling over
cages of sick chimpanzees,
to a distant galaxy
that grows banana trees.

Awaken I see
empty syringes strewn
outside the crisscrosses
of my cage, trenchcoats
storm like flurries.
I still cannot read my nameplate.

I hope on my swing,
pumping my legs
back and forth,
back and forth,
back and forth —
glassy eyes watering.

people often underestimate me,

i am either

to dumb,

or to unskilled.

i am

to weak,

or to busy.

i am

to fat,

or to sad.

when in reality all i am is

m i s u n d e r s t o o d

This Boy walks the earth
Displaying fraudulent pride
Keeping to himself
The number of times he's painfully cried..

This Boy walks the earth
Spreading smiles and cheers
Not letting a single person
Know his deepest & greatest fears..

This Boy walks the earth
With a head full of dreams
Smiling and goofy but hiding
That things are not as they seem..

This Boy walks the earth
With quite a lot to say
But it's what he never says
That bothers him every day...

This Boy walks the earth
Appearing so happy and free,
While most wouldn't guess it but,
This misunderstood Boy is me...

They call it depression, but it's an addiction to something that's not there-
It's an expression that we wear; it's repressed need-worn mentally.

And torn entities are born, but big men scorn with forlorn identities.
Ungentle mouths sending free telegrams to stop everything stop.

Want masquerading as need.
An embedded seed we tried to prune one day, but grew instead.
Weedy tendrils that push out my head.

Bleeding temperamentally internally eventually until it grows aware:
Despite hiding it or changing it, we carry on:
Recognizing our own ambiguity in another person's stare.