Did you ever really think that you
Could erase the red that stains the page?
In the moment you seize their doubt,
Of the truth lost in drought
Did you ever wish for them,
A better end than you had lent?

Who cares to save daylight,
When the night comes reaping
And what grows when the deeds are sown?

You should have known.

Did you ever see and end or,
Was your life an endless loop?
Where your pain circles ‘round
And there’s no moment nor a sound.
Do you remember when the lies started,
Did they hide like a clown’s painted face?
Circumference of a circle closing in on your surface circus.

“Should have”
“Could be”
No more, no where.

Breathe in, breathe out
Your sick has grown
Now find your cure.

In the last breath of air
As your world’s crumbling down
Would you give up this last night -
To free the love of your life?

You should have known.

When the night comes reaping
What grows in the deeds you’ve sown?

the 7 led me back to my God Given throne
where I didn't have to hide from the evilness of the world.

mother couldn't love me the way i deeply craved
life was so mean to me, i almost lost my wonder...
until the 7 led me back to my power.

i started at the root, where my sense of self had been forgotten.
they mirrored back to me all parts within me the darkness wouldn't let me see.
i found pleasure in doing the small things moment to moment,
my purpose now was to bring unconditional love into these parts alive in me i was now discovering.
all these mirrored parts in these 7 individuals
the happy part,
the grumpy part,
the escapist,
the hiding one,
the most sensitive one,
my higher self and
my inner child.

bringing all these parts within me together into my wholeness was a great threat to the evilness
because once I knew of the combined power of my fragmented parts, evilness could never keep a hold of me.

unbeknownst to me a spiritual attack sent me back into the darkness.
I was waking up too fast into my power, so they put me back to ignorant sleep;
dead to these parts i was
unaware, numb, disconnected
until I found my way back outside in
kissed back to life by an angel...another me.

I got resuscitated back into enlightenment,
reincarnated into the same body after my ego death.

the old story is gone, now, I have space to create more magic.
I am now living lovingly, simultaneously with all these 7 parts of me, but this time happily ever after!

I'm sorry, mum
That you went through all that pain
To bring me into life
For me to just waste away
And wish I wasn't alive

Another bottle down,
Hoping it can distort truth
Maybe if the mirror’s fogged, it can’t reflect
Can’t show him the middle-aged wreck.

Another chug of warm swill,
Hops molded, no bubbles, flat
Looking at baby pictures and a bag of teeth
Mummy left them, he feels the pain in his jaw
Maybe with another swig, he’ll be rid of it all.

Father watches from his sick bed,
Colostomy bag overflowing,
The excrement covers the scent of shame
As eyes barely raise to see his progeny

No he’s clicking the button to call the morphine
Drips entering to send him to a new dream,
Unable to stand the sight of his kindred,
As the boy that became a man, indigent.

Bryan takes another swig of clotted wine
A Merlot collecting dust upon his desk,
The keyboard is crusted over, white film, flaky
As he tends to his perversions, hoping a spark can awaken

On here he can be anyone,
But his lungs fail to inflate fully
And the liver shrivels to a freeze-dried remnant,
It’s only been minutes, but he shakes
Begging with forgiveness
Needing something to wash down the pittance
One more swig’ll do her!
Another drink to soothe.

As father watches on,
Glazed eyes and singing Aussie songs
He’s ******* post the catheter bag
Flowing yellow rivers down his bedside

Dreams fill his head,
Hoping Bryan dies,
So he could mend and heal,
Watching as he sips forever,
With jaundiced, glassed-over eyes.

If he could write it,
Or murmur sound
He’d say he was disappointed
But all he does is frown

While Bryan,
Consumed with trauma
Caught in his self-made prisons
Drowns in a sea of sick
And cheap bourbon.

Forever a child in a man’s husk
Daddy’s little burden.

Sticks and stones break bones.

Words and feelings shatter my heart.

It’s like a poet with a whip like tongue.

You lash me with your words and I stagger back.

Begging for the ground to swallow me whole.

Words hurt.

Words are hidden behind sweet tones and kind voices.

But underneath they are *****, derogatory, and filthy.

Don’t call a woman a w—re just because you think it’s funny.

Don’t call a man a f-gg-t just because he has a different clothing style and doesn’t dress masculine.

Words cut deeper than sticks and stones could ever.

Words.     Hurt

What is beauty
Is it that perfect skin
What is beauty
But that perfect body
What is beauty
But happiness
But I give it the *******
The fact about beauty is that
It causes a walking skeleton of
Our daughter
The fact about beauty is that
Boys pump themselves
With steroids
The suffering that beauty brings
I see
Soon, I will have it the
*******

is my desire to have those meaningless but oh so meaningful exchanges back and forth through the day, push your hand to taring the town red?
        I want to hold your hand
bite your flesh cause I simply can't take laying
quietly across your bare skin and control myself.
         why do you poke at my insecurities
when you're the one who's seen me raw
                                                    rare
    ­                                         and over
                                               cooked.
Where have you been?
     the dogs eaten your homework
   two lefts and a right?
       And here you are always right.
Pick your teeth with my ribs after feasting
     on reactions to your lack of reaction
              
                I'm ******* you off huh,
                good feel something beautiful
     because you've taken me on a tour of a
      side show odyssey and I hate the view
                from the passenger seat
                                        I'm mad about you,
                                        for you
                                 and this makes me hate
                                   myself.
                           the heaviness on my lungs
                 and being put on a backburner.

kiss me
don't touch me
pull me close
as you run away

                              Finely dice chives
                              sprinkle it sparsely
                             don't forget the vinegar


                can't spell sane and logic
                        with out l-u-v

Living not surviving
I think you live
To be grateful
To laugh until death
To clear your vision
And see
That mountains are the way they are
To fall
And climb
Every day
Again
When you try and try
But the eye can’t reach the sky
Remember
Each step is one
Remember
Don’t forget the warmth you get
From souls you’ve met