sensitive content



I'm gonna get myself into trouble one of these days
I thought I wanted drinks
Maybe I want pills
I've always been drawn to anything that'll make my head foggy
Pull thick clouds into my mind
Slow my racing heart
Numb my body

I don't always get that
I have my various ways
I could easily ruin my life with drugs
It's enticing
Something better than having to live
Not without its own pains
But at least sometimes they'd go away

And it's then that I find myself
Wrapped in a foggy bliss
Nearly unable to move
Can't think
Barely breathing
And that's how I like it
I almost thought I'd die
The thought didn't seem to bother me
Not with my system flooded
With whatever it is I've decided to take
No... there's a kind of peace in deciding
You have nothing left to lose

A ****** latex glove.
The rhythmic breathing of a room full of machines
and the dim light glowing on white paper.

Is he your patient?
Well, I guess. But night shift is coming in soon.

We step out into the bright corridor.
You look at me – really look at me -
something grave in your eyes, a great expectation.

Thank you-
I interupt. Merry Christmas.
And something rising and falling and blooming and crumbling between us,
like his chest in that dim light.
A promise.

The spine
The antenna for the divine
A straight line
Define and refine the signals to and from the mind
Find the vibe that makes you come alive
Light the fire, the livewire, that you transmit ’til you expire

From root to crown
From up to down
This flow of energy
A life force
A coursing current
Sometimes a torrent
A constant stream that means so much
And it manifests through the sense of touch

Vibrations, reverberations
Localizing in our nervous congregations
Stemming from the spinal cord
These chakras strike a chord
Soul patches
Energy clusters that muster so much energy
And when in flow, they all shine with light
But when in doubt, tangled up
These tentacles of energy can glow too bright
When the flow’s not right
When the foe’s in sight
Fight or flight
In the world or in our mind
When we leave the flow behind
We weave a tangled thread
Which may focus in our head
Or our heart
In the root, the sacrum, the solar plexus
The throat, the crown, the third eye nexus
These energy centers out of whack when we aren’t centered
How do we get back from the twisted stream we’ve entered?

Remember
It is all sensation
Machinations in the mind cannot unwind
The neural fibers of our spine
A focal point for energy
A chakra
Resistance is a trap that keeps us coming back
Stuck in a whirlpool
That wants to flow free
But resistance blocks the stream
When there’s a disturbance in the force
Turmoil or avoidance that distorts
That chakra glows too bright
Instead of flow you start to fight
Your chest gets tight
Butterflies in the stomach
Something stuck in your throat
Remember
You can just float
You need no boat or moat or antidote
It’s all sensation, vibrations
Traveling up and down your spine
Manifesting in your mind
And in that flow there is a freedom
Sit up straight and breathe in deeper
Energy flowing freely
Resistance yields persistence
So give up the fight
Dissolve into light
Stop floundering in the whirlpool
You have found the portal
Let it **** you in
You’ll find an ocean deep within
Your mind will open
You can breathe the water
It was water all along
No longer drowning
You can just be
Resting in the deep
At peace with seven pieces of your body
Portals to the deep
Or whirlpools that will keep you stuck
You decide your own luck
Make them a locus of control
Let focus be your goal
Seven pieces finally whole

Small red tablet
I am now drowsy

Small red tablet
I now forget *****

Small red tablet
I am now suddenly happy

Small red tablet
I now forgot what sorrow is

People are so eager to say,
"You are enough"
to shove,
"self love" down your throat.
but when you're tossed aside,
by everyone,
how can I believe that I'm,
deserving of love

I want the same medicine force-fed to us to be jammed down your perfectly healthy throat for once

Sometimes you just have to have some medicine.
Sometimes you just need a Friend to hold you while you cry.
Sometimes you need medicine for your pain.
Sometimes Medicine wouldn't fix your problems.
Sometimes your friends you think are friends are not friends and they use you.
Sometimes Medicine will help you but not for long though.
Somethings don't need to have medicine.
Somethings are needed for medicine.
Medicine will not always cure your illnesses.
But real friends can cure a lot of your problems in life.