I'm loosing blood
to this machine
it's ripping me apart
soon I'll be empty
It drains me dry
and I've lost my mind
It drains me dry
'til there's nothing inside

It started with existence

just a lowly perspective of a mute
time when I was able to
make sense of this pressure
make sense of why
you are now here to guide me now
on this looser journey; a lonely crabapple
still grappling at shriveled skin creating a face
that I still
cannot
distinguish.
With the end of presence as we know it
you have finished, rightly
in my dressing room
bright screen lit up
but only for a moment do I dare look away.

It started with you, and it will end with you

Closed off from me, shortly
your bioluminescence radiant,
your perfection incomplete.
I’ve known you for six straight years
or was it five
just enough
construed construction, a bloated
piece of mind that left me free to wander
aimlessly down I path I cannot recognize.
It was you who caused my blunder,
keeping me awake every night
with your brightness and distraction and amiable personality.
I decorated you with bits of me,
tangled in and out like woven webs of cybernetics
optimal connections, you died twice and I revived you.
But that was in the past
and you still cling on, for how much longer
I shan’t not know.
Only that what it means to exist
when I should be letting go.
I have to face the trust of reality and its weakened points;
that dangerous, well-formed world I find myself in.
I hope you can follow me
as long as you are able,
my clunky plastic compadre
your heart is metal mixed with other
kinds of fragile contraptions.
I know this end to my happiness is not your fault.
You were there when I needed you most,
even if you are a tool of innocence turned foul.
I once learned all of existence from your knowledge,
gleaned myself raw
trying to let you help me
understand myself.
We are not truly over because I am bound to you
somehow
even though I’ve used you for my own gain
abused your trust and have my own heart slain.

All I ask is for you to give me a chance
to make it right

again.

And then I can move on to better things.

And not be obsessed of what you think of me.

And find a way to pull myself together.

from a somber whisper to a roll of thunder
the gods have awakened from their slumber
the dream that they collectively believed
was a long range message to receive
in an effort to relieve us from machines
and the labels that they place on every thing
it's a fable a facade a safe place be to a sheep
so when all the other great ones were asleep
and a couple went astray it made them think
that they would have to start war to make some peace

their logic is dependent on limits so when we bend it
they'll befriend it for the moment for a minute just to get it
just to get an edge
just to get ahead
meanwhile, the earth bound spirits get stronger living dead

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Couple to help me fall asleep
Couple to make me less socially awkward
Couple because it's something to pass the time
To help unwind

Loud people yelling in kingsgate
Then the faint stare of nighttime noises
Dog chains, house keys
Then nothing

City silence
Ambient sounds
Quarter to one
Bikes are closer than the cars

Smoking my last cigarette
The city bows out
A well oiled machine
Inhale, exhale now

As a ginger, I'm inclined to say fox. I've always had an affinity for those cunning, red canines.

But if it's just for a day then perhaps something a bit more adventurous. I suppose I would choose to be a cheetah.

Fastest land animal in the world, agile, and speckled.

Nobody messes with a cheetah. Not because they’re so hulking or intimidating— just more fascinating than terrifying.

We travelled to South Africa once, my family and I. As a tribe we chased wild creatures down with cameras in jeeps in a raucous yet hushed thrill.  

The cheetah was one of the few animals that eluded us. Perhaps having never seen one up close is partially what draws me to them.  

Mysterious, as well as evasive, with an "I don't give a ****" attitude.

They only eat every so often because catching food is such a feat. When they do hunt however, it's one of the most spectacular things in the natural world.

It's why places that sell tv's show footage of cheetahs running in slow motion over and over on a dizzying loop; demonstrating how clear the pixels are in the plasmas. It's mesmerizing.

Their feet move too fast and fly over the dirt, honed in on whatever poor gazelle or kudu they're after. If you're a cheetah that is your body, your thin bones, your rapid heart and beating paws that make you move in such a blur.

To be a cheetah for a day is feeling and knowing the difference between machine and muscle. Humans have found ways to fly, and people regularly move faster than a top speed of 75mph.

But how sublime it would be!
To be solely and purely responsible for that unparalleled speed just for one day.

I built a magic time machine
I tinkered through the night
I erected it with art and skill
I knew I had it right!

Off I went on this fun flight
In my bubble made of gloss
I saw the future and the past
Then found that I was lost!

I saw the moments where I'd failed
I'd hurt my loved ones dear!
I saw the future bleak and dark
And viewed it with great fear

I tried to change the things I'd done
And found that I could not!
I practiced on the future, too
Was frozen to the spot!

I found the present compromised
Came back to my square bed
The empty place between my ears
The space inside my head

I learned a precious lesson
All that I can say
Is once you're off in time machines

You're vacant from TODAY!



SoulSurvivor
(C) 1/31/2016

The snow set in the barn,
Where the horses once laid
On a cold night, ice spiraled
We tossed,turned, all packed

The troops tamed to acquiesce
Rifles silenced, bullets sacked 
Stocks in deficit, awaiting ambush
Sores overturned and edged in holes

Our nerves dead in the silent night
Risking an aching machine, a body
Pushing to extremities, thrill seeking
My mind numb, body ignited in dumb

Left, right… series audibly recurred
Halting to reflect the extreme valour
A salute to quench and honor a reality
For I once sacrificed my "liberties" for "others"

Royal Blue;
A royal blue dream of you
Featuring: The Imperial Dream Machine
Providing more wishes and dreams then you ever did see
White plastic noise, broken toys
The choking sounds of time & rust
The changing tune of disease Mistrust
Imperial Dream Machine
Royal blue, these dreams of you
The space between these empty sheets;
Grey bars & white waste
No Dream Escape
The Imperial Dream Machine
Imperial Chills
The Imperial Chill Inside
Why ask Why?
No dream escape
Royal Pain
A blue, frozen, silent chase
Frozen steps, slow-motion-still
Leaves fall, faces turn
All roads lead to nowhere.
And Faces still.
No Dream Escape
It is an imperial dream quake
Dreams break
Golden seam rips apart
In the space between
A stillness newly awakens
A Forlorn Sorrow Cry
Why ask why?
Torture devices clamp in place
No Dream Escape
The Imperial Dream Machine
Provides more wishes and dreams
Than you ever did see.

No dreams escape.

Giving me the strangest dreams at night, as I look for her in a place where she could be anywhere in the universe. I'll always be looking, through every dream and every nightmare. Driven by nothing more then gears and bolts, a cold and calculating hunk of metal. **I've become a machine, and I've been designed a failure.