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Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
i always thought youd come back to me
but it was me, who came back to you
i came back into your life
and the roles had reversed

you were no longer who i wanted,
and all you wanted was me

i told you no, i wasnt playing your games
this time i ghosted you
this time everything had changed
Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
i want things to be normal, but they never will be.
and i just want to cry, i wish you never kissed me.
i wish you would have never pretended to like me, or care for me
because i could see on your face today that you clearly never did.
i just wish you never would have tried to.
it hurts so bad that i am starting to wish i had listened to the people telling me not to talk to you, two years ago.
i wish i could go back in time and undo it all and i am sure you do too..
Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
You are so secure, and you take
Advantage of that security, making me
Even more insecure. You aren't scared that
Maybe I’lll realize how well off I
Could be without you… because you
Know how utterly and entirely I have fallen
For your stupid smile and your pretty eyes
You pretend, but don't feel it
And I could easily just leave, making it easier on myself
But I won’t
Because
I ******* love you
Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
Sometimes i wish..
"Wish what?"
I wish that I was interesting enough to make you stay. Make you want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you. I just wish I could make you care about me like I care about you.
I just wish I was ******* enough.

-i wrote this a month before you declared your independence
Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
I say I don't like you
         Try to convince myself the feelings are gone
Pretend to be okay with all of this

         Then I watch you run
Your fingers through your hair
         And my heart drops
Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
And when the late night phone calls
Stopped
I knew it was over
Long before
The words came out of your mouth
Aniahs Machell Sep 2019
I've been thinking through every aspect of us
Thinking of everything I could have done differently
Every kiss, every hug, every touch
I should've done it more? Maybe less?

Should I have told you I loved you more? Less?
You say it is not my fault but I can not help but wonder
Is there something I could have done?
Something to make you stay?
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