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Tiberius Sep 2019
Everything will be okay.
I tell myself as I lay my head on my pillow
For the first time in a long time, completely alone
Everything will be okay.
I tell myself as I choke on the despair and feel the weight of my loneliness slowly pushing me further into my bed
Everything will be okay.
I tell myself every hour on the hour as I hear the clock tick in the background, like a bomb waiting to go off in my chest.
Everything will be okay.
As the days pass, and the pain becomes more of a companion, more of a friend I’ve known a few times before, back for a visit.
Everything will be okay.
I tell myself as I wait around a phone for a call or message , that deep down I know isn’t coming, or if it even did, it doesn’t matter.
Everything will be okay.
As I become numb, like a zombie living my days in a life I can’t find the meaning in.
Everything will be okay.
I lie to myself, as they all lie to me, because everything, everything is not okay.
Tiberius Apr 2017
Your eyes were the window to a story I was destined to write
Your hair, falling gently down your shoulders
Was the crimson cover, like majestic leather
I wanted to write our story on your skin
Discover it inch by inch, minute by minute
I readied my pen and got to work
And we opened up
Scribbling words on each other deep through the day and night
Passionately letting our words take the wheel
And wrote our deepest secrets on each others' canvas
Like mad artists whose heart is about to explode
But I didn't realize our story we were writing
Would be but a few paragraphs
Tiberius Mar 2017
One day you'll wake up and look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back at you. And one thing I've learned, that's not always a bad thing.
Tiberius Mar 2016
For the first time in a long time I feel terribly alone
A creeping feeling that nests itself deep into my mind and won't let go keeping me locked up at
Home because who would have known that when you need people the most its the hardest to get it known
For the first time in a long time I realize I'm scared
I'm scared that maybe I lost my way and and I'm here to stay with no one to say "here, this is the light of day"
For the first time in a long time I feel hurt
Left out in the rain alone without someone to hold in a world that's so cold that and all I see is my own breath with no one else no one just to confess
For the first time in a long time I feel awake
Like the rest had been a dream something i have just not seen in my mind it's made up it just a movie scene
For the first time in a long time I feel
Tiberius Dec 2015
Looking down at his child in awe
In the hospital room it was the greatest thing he ever saw
Wrapped up in the blue blanket he'd carry with him for years
The blanket that eventually would soak up all the childhood tears
He cradled him and felt his hear beat, beating calmily in his arms as he realized with every breath this child was actually his heart and the beat wasn't just his but ours
He watches as his son grows up to be a man he wished he could be
Raised by parents his parents never could be
But he has a dark side
One that destroys him every night
Brings him to a point where he no longer is the superman his son sees him as but as a blight
Not as a man but as a fright
He turns to drink every day because he can't live any other way
He has no rhyme or reason to say
But it always ends the same
"I'll have just one drink today"
But one turns to two and three to four to a six pack then more
He is a father he knows he tried to be better but inside he knows
I'm not the superman my son use to know
I'm the joker with the chaos I sow
Do you wanna know how he got those scars?
It's because i spent too much of his childhood at these bars

His son grows older and he's almost a man
He looks at him know and he had all these plans
But he's alone
His son doesn't know the man that he was or the man he should be he knows the man he choice to be
He sees not his father but a man soaked with alcohol and bad decisions crippled by years of depression screaming out like a siren in the night
But that siren usual came to arrest him
His son knows deep inside no matter how well he tries to hide he's broken
The years have passed and he looks to his son and when he looks in his eyes he sees a stranger
A stranger he created in more sense than one.
Tiberius Nov 2015
He turned from the window slowly
Looking out as he did a million times before
Waiting for her car to pull up
For her beautiful eyes to shoot his way and make him feel whole
But there is no car coming
This is not her destination
He can't figure it out
Where it all went wrong
He isn't sure if it was the alcohol that numbed his pain that was confusing him or if it was actually what separated them in the beginning
He knew he hadn't had a problem
He was no alcoholic
But he couldn't help but blame it on the extensive use of alcohol to numb a pain he couldn't describe
But he knew deep down it was darker routed
He had a fear
One he thought was irrational and stupid
He always feared one day she'd wake up
In his worn out bed,
In his poorly lit apartment
To his run down domain
And look at his aging body
And stop seeing his desperation to be successful for her
Yet only notice his continual failure
And instead of waking him with a silent kiss and those eyes he came to adore
She'd slowly walk to the kitchen and make herself breakfast and quietly leave his apartment realizing she had stopped loving him ages ago
He always knew deep in the back of his mind
That she was the beautiful angel he could never keep
He tried to hide it behind a false sense of confidence and self deprivating jokes
If only to poke fun at himself and keep her entertained with him
But he knew he was barrowing time
And his debt was passed due
And he was a mess with nothing he could do.
Tiberius Oct 2015
On a  cool autumn night
I awoke, voice mumbling  ever so softly next to me
Dreaming so innocently
Face buried in pillows with gentle long hair
Flowing down the pillow case
Like a waterfall calmly racing down the cliff side
I move ever so closer
I can feel her warmth as I inch my way towards her timidly, giving everything I have to not wake her
I wrap my arm around her pulling her into my chest
And right then, she sturrs for only a moment
Enough time to turn sleepily and glance at me
And in that moment is eternity
I feel her passion deep inside
She leans over and gives a gentle kiss
Time has frozen and in that moment there is only her and I
No one else, no prying eyes
She turns  her head and buries it into my chest
Drifting back to sleep
In this moment, I am complete.
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