and i hope you’ll take care of yourself
you deserve a lot more than the
torments you carry like a cloud
if only you knew how badly i wished
i could sail through every storm for you

i would’ve faced the crashing waves
and treaded even in the pain
of holding your head above water
because i wanted you to get the chance
to do better for yourself

but what’s the use if i drown
just trying to make you see
you’re worth more than the people
who pushed you overboard
and watched you descend so deep
into yourself you didn’t know
where the ocean ended and you began

and you try to hide the water
trapped in your lungs but
i can still see it in your eyes

i know you pushed me away because
you felt like an anchor sinking and
didn’t want to take me down with you
but you never even bothered to ask
if i could swim

always saying i'm so happy
but you never seem to notice
how sad you make me feel
i can't keep struggling
to strap a lifejacket
on the back of someone
who doesn't want to be saved

but i hope someday, you'll empty
the heavy stones from your pockets
catch your breath above the surface
and feel the sun shining
on your face once more

Earth
    worms the color of
    bruised tongues wriggle
    out of sodden dirt and
    splay themselves out on
    gritty asphalt

To breathe.
    We bite our tongues as the
    sun returns to burn away the wet.
    Bodies shrivel from the
    desiccation until we can come out to

Air that smells like all that
    rainwater and blood
    evaporating to fill our lungs.

Tell me mother,
how are your lungs.
how many layers have the tobacco leaves peeled
from those sacs of flesh which give you life.

Tell me mother,
how is your heart
how many years has anger stripped away
from this vessel which keeps you in motion

tell me mother,
how is your brain.
how has the loss made you refrain
from understanding what you have done to me

tell me mother.
will we ever be the same?
or will we stay like this, you frozen
and I, terrified of loving you.

you’re the kind of high i like,
the one i can’t get enough of,
you are my favorite flower.

and i’ll watch you lay on a blanket,
and wrap your arms to cuddle me in,
let our emotions ride the waves
feelings all so raw and real.

and i’ll inhale you deeply,
hold it in,
plant the seeds to grow a
garden of you.

your aroma, your scent,
it thickens in my memories,
my lungs tastes of you.

and exhaling all that anxiety,
my mind has turned a switch
and all the noise i once drowned in
are muffled whispers going into silence.

and i smile by the way
i’m addicted to you that
all i want is more of you,
i don’t want just the bouquet
but the paradise garden that is you.

i remember the taste of metal in my mouth,
the warmth and the pain of
turning my fiery words
into mountains of ash
years of biting my tongue,
wanting to scream,
yet the smoke chokes my lungs

my heart has been my achilles’ heel more than a time or two
but I can’t help but be grateful that after everything, the world hasn’t been able to harden it
human nature is selfish motives
but empathy and I have become well acquainted
let my tombstone read “she was soft”
let me give love like I’ll never run out
let me be your resting place
and if you need the air in my lungs
or the organs in-between my bones I’ll give you those too
and if all I ever do is make others feel loved, that will be enough for me

let me scream these words from the edge of the earth,
from the depth of my heart,
to your pretty little ears,
till my heart swells with the overwhelming, bittersweet pain
and my lungs turn blue.
"i love you, i love you, i love you."

©L.F.

If you take my heart
Please leave my lungs
For I will run
Till I'm out of breath
And can barely whisper
"Please love me"