Has it really been this long?
Being a child that never cared
falling asleep to that old song,
the lullaby my mother shared.

Have these four years really passed?
Since I felt that aching rise
around my chest, hoping it lasts
by telling all those little lies.

Has it really been four months?
I saw it happen, all over then
letting the bullet slightly pass,
right through my heart, to softly rend.

Has it really been four weeks?
Since the wound had opened up
again, with the slightest leaks
of light, in my darkened mind.

And yet... I find it quite disturbing,
the fact, that I've been holding up
from suffering in brighter dark,
I guess it's time.
That makes you strong...

The crows called to me this morning
So early it was dark
They told me that they missed me
Their song met my insanity
And, together, we sung a lullaby
Under a blood red moon
The perfect ******

It's been about two years since I saw my aunts face, it's crazy how I heard I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, everyday I have an image in my mind, it's got me confused on top of my own crimes, at night I can feel a cold breeze, I ask myself is she there to comfort me asleep, I get scared so I cover up my eyes n my whole feet.... I can feel your energy when your right beside me, sometimes I pray to god, then it blows my mind when I get answers on my own iPod.... One time I had a dream, I was floatin up above my body n I could see papa in the scene, there was a bright light, then there was a tunnel, you came out with Jesus n told me to stay out of trouble, **** I got to get in line, I definitely remember you screaming its not your time! Go back you got a passion to find, put the fakes aside leave the ******* behind, but all this stress catches up every time I try, then it was kisses goodbye, sleep tight as I sing your childhoods lullaby

Cicadas hum quietly,
amongst the summer choir.
Locked doors,
birds on their wire's.
Keep from harm's way,
but thorted by desire-
Blinds colored gray
block out humanity.

These dreams speak to me through insanity,
a tv plays white noise,
my mind is in calamity.
As nightmares creep in through my eyelids,
amid the darkness of this quiet house.

This is my Strauss-
wooden floors entirely silent,
the thoughts inside are violent.
Recalling Baptist Hospital.
No cart rhythmically on call,
a nurse alloting me two pearls to swallow.

Making the sea of seretonin flow,
making happiness through my body grow.
Tonight,
I take my trazadone
no longer resembling a pearl,
my toes curl.
At the bitter taste,
following the nightmares that make haste
to follow me to bed,
praying I don't wake up dead.

I'll admit
I want to sing my love
sweet songs
in the nighttime.

I'll admit
I just want to find a love
who is worth
singing for.